I’m in my ThirdThird now (ages 60-90) and I find there are things I used to care a lot more about than I do now. Priorities, experience, wisdom, adapting – whatever the reason, I am much more flexible in my thinking.

The result? Less stress. More joy. A greater appreciation for each day, each opportunity, each interaction.

There are several ways that I have found that I can be much more relaxed now that I have lived long enough to recognize what is truly important to me. Here are 5 of my favorite ways to relax.

 
 

Fashion “Rules”

Rules try to dictate details like you must wear brown with navy or that you can’t wear white after Labor Day – or before Easter – or that after a certain age you “shouldn’t” wear leggings or high heels. While I care about my appearance and want to be (relatively) stylish, I am much more inclined to be motivated by comfort and common sense now that I am older. I put myself together in a way that I feel confident and off I go.

Grocery Store Attire

Continuing with a clothing theme, I care much less what I wear to the grocery store, even though I have lived in our town for a long time and there is a good chance I might run into someone I know. If I know them, they should not be distracted by my casual attire and we should be able to enjoy an exchange of pleasantries in the aisles, with or without makeup.

Other People’s Opinions About My Family

Once, my husband and I made a decision that (evidently) seemed rash to outsiders without much information. We both quit our jobs and headed in separate directions, temporarily, to take opportunities we were excited about.

Soon, there were all sorts of rumors. One of us was dying. We were splitting up. There was trouble brewing. None of it was true. We were just taking advantage of the trust we had built over many years that allowed us to each seek our own opportunities for a period. Since then, I don’t try to explain.

Keeping Up with the Latest

Technology, slang, exercise, diet. Trying new stuff that is going to disappear or be replaced before I fully understand it is an exercise in futility that I no longer am tempted by. I am dependent on technology, but try to make what works for me last if possible. Slang I just try to avoid so I don’t misuse, much to my grandkids’ amusement. Exercise and diet, I know what works so being consistent is the best approach at this point.

Everyone Agreeing

Ha! In the current political climate in the US, there is obviously little hope of everyone agreeing. But even in family or social or work environments, I am much more willing to adapt to someone else’s idea than I used to be.

For years, I have been considering a family vacation that involved passports and planes and trains and mountains and beaches. Our kids, however, asked if I would consider, instead, a week at a Florida beach. Seventeen people. No passports. No train. Just sand and sun and relaxing. They all agreed, so exchanging my plans was simple. They all want to be together and they want their parents there, too. That was a fine adjustment for my thinking to make.

Life is simpler now that I can let go of a lot of the rules and expectations and assumptions I had when I was rushing around and holding things together. In my FirstThird, age 0-30, I was mainly focused on learning. In my SecondThird, age 30-60, I was focused on earning. Now I am determined to make my ThirdThird, my very best Third.

What are your favorite ways to relax? What things are you doing now to relax and enjoy life more? Are you letting fashion rules go by the wayside? Have you ever organized a family reunion? Please share in the comments.

Debbie HensleighDebbie Hensleigh is a serial entrepreneur and business coach who is intent on living life on purpose. She speaks, writes and leads workshops on intentionally designing your best ThirdThird, from ​ages 60 to 90. Building on the FirstThird (learning years) and the SecondThird (earning years), the ThirdThird can be the best Third. Please visit Debbie’s website here.

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