“Love and marriage, love and marriage go together…” Well, you know the rest of the song. If only it was that easy! In many ways, falling in love is simple. Turning our passion into a lasting marriage is something else entirely. Fortunately, we have our sisters in the Sixty and Me community to turn to for advice. Many people in our community have been happily married for 4 decades of more and they want to share their secrets with you.

What Are the Secrets to a Happy Marriage After 60?

According to the women in our community, staying close to your partner requires a combination of kindness, honesty, attention to detail and trust. It’s about taking the time to care about the little things, while keeping any larger problems that you encounter in perspective.

Many women also talked about the importance of allowing your husband to express his individuality. This is similar to the advice that dating couch, Lisa Copeland, gave me during our last interview.

She explained that men over 60 want women to express their femininity and let them feel like men. This may not be a popular argument, but, given the responses of the women in our community about marriage, there is an element of truth to this perspective. After all, women in their 60s expect to be able to follow their passions and express their individuality. Should we expect anything less from the men in our lives?

Here are a few secrets to a happy marriage after 60 from your Sixty and Me sisters:

1. Put kindness at the top of your list
2. Support each other’s interests and hobbies
3. Give encouragement and intimacy
4. Don’t underestimate forgiving and forgetting
5. Be his friend. Everything else takes care of itself
6. Give each other space and time to do the things you want to do
7. Give unconditional love and make him feel like a man
8. Pay attention to the little things – give him a hug at the end of every day
9. Compromise and don’t be selfish
10. Find ways to stay romantic
11. Be honest but appreciate his strengths
12. Make a genuine effort to understand his point of view
13. Remember to have fun together
14. Occasionally surprise him with a treat
15. Make a man feel like he’s your hero
16. Give him a home-made card, poem or handwritten letter
17. Don’t take him for granted
18. Never go to sleep angry
19. Find ways to stay healthy together
20. Look for ways to create things together
21. Trust and appreciate him
22. Try not to take life too seriously – just enjoy your time together
23. Never stay angry with each other for more than a day
24. Open your mind and your heart – the rest takes care of itself!
25. Take care of each other
26. Don’t be too serious. Learn to laugh with him
27. Think about your partner before yourself
28. Be nice to each other
29. Show kindness, respect, and love
30. Keep your own personal space, where possible
31. Appreciate and celebrate your differences
32. Bring love, loyalty, tolerance and romance into your relationship
33. Do your thing. Let him do his. Get together sometimes!
34. Be his best friend first and his wife second
35. Respect and enjoy each other
36. Never ask him “Do I look fat in this?”
37. Pay attention when your husband talks
38. Trust him above all else
39. Don’t try to change him
40. Take trips apart once a year
41. Share love, understanding and confidence
42. Appreciate your differences and don’t try to make him like you
43. Be fair when you argue and don’t jump to conclusions
44. Be honest with yourself and act as if you have nothing to lose – you don’t!
45. If something disturbs you, tell him
46. Support one another – say “I love you” every day and mean it
47. Enjoy hugs, dinners out and sex
48. Find a shared hobby to enjoy together
49. Laugh at his jokes and do things together
50. Love him unconditionally
51. Learn to respect each other
52. Give him your attention, love and forgiveness
53. Have your own friends
54. Remember that it’s ok to be a little selfish
55. Learn to grown together
56. Laugh together and don’t take life too seriously
57. Have a joint plan for your finances
58. Never say “I told you so”
59. Respect your husband’s privacy – we all have secrets
60. Know his triggers and don’t press them

Maintaining a successful marriage after 60 requires effort from both partners. At the same time, there is no reason that we can’t take the first step.

The message of the women in our community is simple – if you want to maintain a happy relationship, learn to accept your husband, warts and all. Act as if you expect him to be your hero – chances are he’ll rise to the challenge. Find joint goals and hobbies, but, also be individuals.

Perhaps most importantly, don’t take life too seriously. Learn to laugh at the small things together. Life is full of surprises, but, there is nothing that you can’t handle together.

How long have you been married? What other advice would you give to the women in our community regarding how to maintain a strong relationship after 60? What are the secrets to having a happy marriage? Please add your comments below.