I never, ever, thought I’d be single again. I was happily married for almost 28 years, and, sure, I knew one of us would probably go before the other, but being roughly the same age, I figured the other one wouldn’t be too far behind.

Then, at 54, everything changed. My husband, strong as a mule and healthy as a horse, passed away quite suddenly.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

I won’t touch on the loss here, that’s a subject for another time and another blog. Suffice it to say, if it’s something you’ve gone through, you know. And if you need someone to reach out to who knows, I’m here. Moving on.

Quoting from that great philosopher Forrest Gump, my husband and I were like peas and carrots. But being part of a couple was too big a part of my life to remain solo for the remainder for my long and lonely days. So, like it or not, I had to start again at the beginning.

I successfully navigated the waters of mature dating to find myself once again in a loving and special relationship. So, I want to share with you, my friend, anything I can to help you along your journey.

Let Your Friends Know You’re Interested in Meeting Someone

It’s not that your friends are going to produce a guy for you that’s one-part George Clooney and two-parts Tom Cruise. It’s just sort of the way of the universe. When you ask in one direction, the answer can come from somewhere totally unexpected.

Engage in Social Media

Make new “friends” online. Comment on what other people are doing and posting. Attend interesting events that pop up. You just never know where you could go or who you could meet, and you’ll have fun in the process.

Say, “Yes.”

Don’t overthink it – just go. Invited to a party? Say, “Yes.” Opening at an exhibit? Say, “Yes.” Art Show? You get the idea.

Coffee Dates Are Your Friend

Meeting up for a cup of coffee is the BEST, even if you don’t drink coffee. There’s always tea or juice or something.

Here are the advantages of a coffee date:

  • It can be over when the cup’s empty or can extend into the entire afternoon – it’s entirely up to you.
  • You have your own transportation each way, so you’re not held hostage if things don’t go well. Just drink up and say you’ve got to run.
  • There’s no eating involved so you don’t have to worry about lipstick and crumbs and stuff in your teeth.

Dress to Feel Your Best

Looking good is for you, sweetie – not for him.

C’mon, how many chances do you really get to make an entrance? We all have those outfits that just make us feel good. We know it flatters us and looks great. Wear that.

It’s all about your confidence. When you know you look good, you feel good. You don’t have to have attention on yourself, tugging on this and pulling on that. When you feel comfortable you can put your attention on what’s out in front of you.

Don’t overdress or underdress. But when in doubt, underdress and zhush it up a little – go with your nice jeans and shirt or sweater but top it off with a great jacket, statement necklace, and shoes with a little flash.

Same with your makeup – take the time to look good and feel confident, for YOU.

Have a Few Topics in Mind

Having a ready-made list of topics may sound a little cheesy, but it beats the heck out of awkward silences.

My go-to conversation starter, if one was needed, was, “Tell me three things about you that I don’t know.”

People usually like to talk about themselves, and it’s a quick way to learn more about him. It’s fun, game-sy, and generally each new thing would invite more questions (“How did you wind up there?”, “What did you do?”, “What happened next?” – that type of questions.) that kept the conversation going.

Be prepared with a few details and stories you’d like to share, in case he turns the question around on you.

Just Have Fun

Don’t worry about figuring out whether he’s Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. Just go out to enjoy a nice conversation, a good cup of coffee or a nice glass of wine, and a chance to get dressed up and get out with a grown-up.

Now go on, pull up your big-girl panties and get out there!

I hope these ideas help. Let me know what’s worked for you and let’s help each other out. Who knows, maybe one day we’ll all meet up for coffee.

What is your experience with mature dating? Do you have any tips to share with our community? Please use the comment box below!

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