What are you thinking about this holiday season?
For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely and stressful – especially if we are over 50 and going through divorce. Instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies and holiday songs on the radio, we may feel triggered by sadness.
The end of a marriage, or any other relationship, when we are in our 50s forces us to deal with a whole slew of issues we were not expecting at this time in our lives. These include learning how to be single, possibly living on a reduced income and learning how to redefine ourselves.
If you divorced in your 50s or 60s, you’re familiar with that feeling. Some of us know it all too well, both during divorce and afterwards.
Let’s talk about one of the most common obstacles that stop us from moving on after divorce, especially after a long-term marriage.
Rejection at this ripe time in our lives can really stink. There’s no way around it. As we learn to move on after divorce, even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about, and spent our lives with as a partner, suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore.
When you are recovering from divorce after a long-term marriage, loneliness is definitely an obstacle that keeps you from moving on. We get stuck in this mindset because it makes us feel like we have nobody in the world.
After divorce, are you making this happiness mistake? Let me explain.
A while ago, I was laid off from a 9-5 job and I started to panic. As I started to assemble a resume and apply for new jobs, a voice in the back of my head kept chiming in: “I will be happy again once I am in a new job. Once I get that first pay check, I know I’ll smile and feel better about everything.”
Divorce after 50 can make you feel like everything you’ve known has been taken from you. The life you planned and your vision of the future may disappear, leaving you with a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to go from here.
But when you feel like this, don’t panic! There is merely one thing you must remember:
The holidays are coming. The falling snow, ringing of sleigh bells, and smells of turkey and pumpkin pie can conjure memories of family and togetherness.