Some of us moms have a problem with our attachment to our children, to the point where the bond can become unhealthy.
Any excitement I had for my son preparing to go 2700 miles away to college has been replaced by an aching, heavy heart. And because it’s such a big transition for both of us, I suggested he take his dog with him – a 14-pound Jack Russell with a big personality.
Does this ever happen to you?
There you are, going along with your day, minding your own business and it hits you. The whiny, super-annoying feeling that tells you that no matter what you did during your marriage, it just wasn’t good enough and you should have done better.
When we were growing up, my family never discussed money. It wasn’t that my parents or grandparents though that money was evil. It’s just that, like many working class families, we didn’t have much to discuss… or so we thought!
When I think of detachment, I think of a husband unlovingly detached from his wife, or a depressed mother who is detached and uninvolved with her child.
I’ve been a psychotherapist for 25 years, and I think I’m pretty good at it. I can empathize with all kinds of people, and I’m surprised sometimes how easy it is to feel connected to a client’s suffering with whom I would never cross paths outside of my office.
“When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez
Finally, the day we’ve been working toward arrived. Both of us retired. Ever since I left the workforce 10 years ago, we’ve dreamed of the days when my husband would join me.
Getting your life back after divorce can be hard, especially when you’re over 60. There are financial issues, retirement and logistics issues that leave us feeling exhausted, wondering if we’ll ever move on and feel happy.
People leave our lives all the time. There are so many reasons why they leave, and these losses do have an impact on us, whether or not people pass away, move away or a relationship brakes down.