Finding love after 50 is tough. That’s the conclusion that I have come to after talking with several senior dating experts, as well as, the women in our community. Part of the problem is that, while the dating game has changed, our expectations haven’t.
If you are like many women in the community, the concept of senior dating probably sounds about as appealing as watching paint dry. For starters, no-one wants to think of themselves as a senior, even if they are in their 60s. In addition, after a life-time of difficult relationships, is it reasonable to think that we will be lucky in love in our 60s or 70s?
If you listen to the media, you would be forgiven for believing that looking for love after 60 is like trying to find water in the desert, blindfolded, without shoes… well, you get the idea. This might have been true in the 1950s, but, we’ve come a long way since then. The truth is that more people over 60 are finding love than ever before.
Sex after 50 is taboo subject. While we have come to expect our world to be filled with images of perfectly shaped 20-somethings in intimate situations, the very idea of sex over 50 is repulsive for many. In the movies, sex has become so commonplace that we barely even notice full-frontal scenes – unless, like in The Hangover, the body being shown is owned by an older person. In these cases, the nudity is there to make the audience giggle nervously.
If you are at the beginning of your senior dating journey, you probably have several questions. How can I write a great profile? Where are all the good men my age? Am I ready to deal with the emotions that will inevitably come as I get back into the dating game?
If you believe the dating sites, dating over 50 is easy, fun and stress-free. Some services have even gone so far as to say that dating in your 50s and 60s is better than at any other age. But, is this really true? Or, are dating sites simply looking for new ways to separate us from our money?
One of the biggest myths about aging is that women over 60 no longer care about how they look. This is definitely not true. Most of us still care about how we look, even if the world expects us to be invisible. At the same time, I have to wonder whether the focus of our attention shifts. For example, do most of us still care about being “sexy” in our 60s? Or, do we care more about being “desirable,” “visible,” or “needed?”
If you watch a random assortment of Hollywood movies, you could be forgiven for believing that the only people who have sex are in their 20s and, occasionally, 30s. When people in their 50s and older engage in an on-screen romance, their relationship is typically portrayed as sweet, cute and humorous.
When I set out to create Boomerly, I knew that I didn’t want to build another “over 50 dating” site. Instead, I wanted to create a place that baby boomers could come to make new friends, no matter what they were looking for – a travel partner, a friend, a tennis partner or just someone to talk with. If some of our members find love along the way, I would be delighted. But, that’s definitely not the focus of the site.