Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image
Scroll to top


Dating After 50: How to Find a Partner While Staying Safe Online

Sixty and Me - How to Find a Partner After 60
Margaret Manning

Many women over 50 have been divorced, experienced the death of a partner, or never been married. So, it’s no surprise then that, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, 40% of Americans over age 45 are single. If you find yourself navigating the dating world for the first time in decades, it’s natural to feel a bit nervous. Fortunately, with attitudes about dating changing, and online dating technologies improving, there has never been a better time to get back into the game. As you explore, please be careful to put your safety (both physical and emotional) above all else. When it comes to dating after 50, it helps to know the “rules of the game” before you start to play. So, here are a few tips to get you started.

Online Dating – Not Just a Young Person’s Game Anymore

Online dating is often thought of as a young person’s game, but the fastest growing age group in online dating is people over age 50. American lifestyle guru and TV personality Martha Stewart (age 71) recently made headlines for signing up for online dating site

I’ve personally been happy with the approach that online dating site How About We takes. It encourages people to offer creative ‘first date ideas’ that might be of interest to another member. So for example, a man might say, “How about we go to the farmers market together?” or “How about we visit the botanical gardens?” You agree and arrange to meet up for a specific fun activity together.

Online dating can be a good way to expand your pool of potential dates, and makes it easier to find people who are definitely available and interested to meet women like you. Here are a few tips for how to have a good time and stay safe with online dating.

Be Honest and Open

On your online dating profile, talk about what you love in life, what your passions are, and what you have to offer as a partner. Be positive and upbeat. If you’re having trouble “selling yourself,” ask your friends for advice – what do they love about you? Which aspects of your personality are most memorable?

But Don’t Reveal Too Much

You don’t need to give out your full name and contact details – most of the online dating sites have good privacy protections so you don’t have to reveal everything to everyone on the Internet.

Talk on the Phone First

If you find someone that seems interesting and you’d like to meet in person, take time to talk by phone first. That way you can find out if you have a good mental connection with them, aside from their typing skills. Take your time. There is no reason to rush to meet someone in person. If they are worth it, they will be patient.

Google Your Dates

Before you meet a man in person, get his full name and Google him. Make sure there are no red flags – court cases, domestic violence allegations, or complaints from other women who have dated him before. Most people are honest and trustworthy, but it doesn’t hurt to be diligent and do your research.

Meet in Public First

For a first date with someone you meet online, be sure to meet in a public location like a coffee shop or a park. If you feel uncomfortable with him, you can walk away. Or, on a milder note, if you just feel that the chemistry isn’t there, you can end the date on a gracious note without any pressure to go farther than an initial meeting. Again, How About We’s approach is great because even if you don’t click with your date, you are doing something you enjoy yourself!

Live a Full Life

It’s a bit of a paradox, but it’s true: men tend to be most attracted to women who seem happiest being single – who have a rich, happy, active life of their own. Online dating can be fun, but we don’t have to rely on technology to solve all of our problems for us. Staying active, having hobbies, volunteering, exploring new interests, making new friends, and being generous with your time and talents generally are some of the best things that you can do to improve your life overall. And during the time you spend building a happier life as a single woman, you may just find someone who is perfect for you.

What have you learned from the process of dating after 50? What advice would you offer to other women who are interested in finding a companion in life? Please join the conversation and “like” and share this article to keep the discussion going.



Want specific, actionable advice on dating after 50? Watch my interview with dating expert, Lisa Copeland. I promise that some of her advice will surprise you!

Let's Have a Conversation!


  1. What can you get after 60?Always younger ones aply and tell us Age is only a Number.

  2. I find that most men on dating sites are married and looking for some action on the side. Definitely not what I’m looking for.

  3. Don’t expect to meet THE ONE on-line or anywhere else if you don’t take positive action in your life No one comes knocking on your door Unless your name is Cinderella

  4. Yes I would like to meet someone but afraid of those ” matching” sites and I’m not too keen on bars. Where do you meet someone, at McDonald’s? at Tim Horton’s or other friendly coffee shop? Where?……

  5. Trying to find thru online. Yes Ms. Frances Macias-Souza. Thanks for the advice. Moving cautiously.

  6. I dont want or need a man in my life. At our age there is too much baggage

  7. I’ve met my partner on line, he is a true gentleman, treats me like a lady and treasures our time together. You can be lucky! But you will kiss a few frogs first!!!!

  8. I don’t need a man , but i could do with some friends to talk to and just go out and visit places . Retirement isn’t all its made out to be , its very lonely on your own . You cant do much on the basic state pension in the uk .

  9. Pufa estamos en chile…y hablamos castellano…..

  10. Didn’t think it would be so hard.

  11. I enjoy being single most of the time but don’t have many single friends to hang out with. I find holidays are harder and wish I had someone to be with then among all the married couples! Anyone else find that?

  12. No, I don’t need a man to feel compleat.

  13. Before I left my 33+yr marriage I started learning about the possible things I needed to face as a single women in my 60s. I enjoyed Mama Gena’s Owner and Operators Guide to Men by Regena Thomashauer and Dating to Change Your Life by Lola Jones. I’m in the process of getting my priorities in order first. Like having my own home once again now that I’ve found a place to live for awhile. Then comes the dating scene once again.

  14. Honestly, I love being single. Dating doesn’t interest me at all.

  15. My advice is to move forward cautiously. And don’t be aggressive. I heard that from an authority on the subject. Guys still like to make the first move. I think they like to feel that they “won” a woman, just like the ol’ cave man days.

  16. Would love to find a gentlemen to hang out with but where do women our age meet someone? I know some people who have found wonderful partners on line but I am nervous about trying it !

  17. I would like to meet someone, but will never do it via a dating agency or on-line….that’s how I met my ex husband, through a Christian Friendship agency, never believing that someone would be out to deceive or lie about themselves, and followed all the guidelines. He fooled all my friends, family and Church Elders. It took me 20 years to be free and was unhappy and abused all that time, and lost everything. I am now very happy on my own, but would like male companionship and friendship :-)

  18. I’ve tried several sites and most men are married. Some say it outright and others try to hide it, but it becomes pretty obvious when they can’t go out on Sat night or can’t stay over — but can go to a motel room during the day.

  19. I have been on several sites over the last 10 years. (My husband died 16 years ago), I have not had any luck with dating online at all. One site I belonged to for over 3 years and never had one single date. Then men I dated from the other sites didn’t work out because they either pushed too hard to have a serious relationship right away or they wanted someone who could travel with them. I am still working and I am not able to pick up and go on trips. So I just don’t date.

  20. I have been single for over thirty years. Love it and now as I get older I am so glad I learnt to be independent early. Never thought about my friends as married or single. Friends are friends. I simply could not be bother with all the nonsense and pea cocking , that is involved in looking for a partner. Rather have less ,spend time alone, make my own decisions and plans than have to consult!

  21. Never want to meet a guy on site.
    Not for me.

  22. No I won’t as I met my ex husband through a Christian Friendship club 22 years ago, and the minute we married he changed, and I found I had been lied to and deceived….the shock and misery it caused over the years I have been only sorting out after divorcing having tried to make a go of it for 19 years…I have lost everything, but am now debt free and HAPPY…I also hope I am much wiser…but they were very hard lessons…At 61, I am going to enjoy my life, and believe if I am meant to meet someone, it will happen at the right time. My faith helps me with this. :-)

  23. I have met one man that is decent and we have been communicating by facebook. I’ve seen his pictures and he plays guitar and goes to church. We are going to meet this weekend. I believe this will be fun and let’s be honest about the sex thing. If you find a decent guy, he won’t push you too fast. But sex is a natural need for people also. A Christian man is far less likely to be gross like the ones I ran across. I took my profile down from that sight and am glad that I at least got to meet one decent guy.

  24. Oooo the Bahamas maybe……

  25. To be honest for older women i think online dating is a waste of time,men dont seem to want older women even if you look youthful for age. and they dont! As Kathy says lots seem just interested in sex, and not you as a person. As for the having friends, maybe they think if you have no friends you would be too dependent on them. Sure many single women dont have many single friends, i have good friends but all have partners its just how its happened with me, ive never had that many single friends i always seem to get on better with coupled up people.

  26. I would love to find a partner but guys even my age seem to be more interested in what a woman can do for them sexually than even trying to get to know her as a person. Also if you have no single friends or group of friends and being single for so long is difficult to have. Men seem to want a woman who is connected with a group. I have been talking with a so far lovely man but last last he asked”Don’t you have any friends” That makes me feel very insecure as if he is judging me because I live alone. Very alone..I do have one female friend but she has her family and her and I just go to the movies or dinner sometimes. If you are not financially set you don’t get to have a lot to talk about with men. This is just FYI if someone is starting out and what to be prepared for..LOL Have to stay positive in your endeavor.

  27. I was on 4 sites for over 5 years (no longer)..I don’t recommend it (from a Canadian widow still hoping to find a compatible partner “off-line”)…

  28. I’m single and loving it!

  29. :) ♥

  30. <3

  31. Ya You are speaking the thruuuuuuuuuuuue!

  32. June, I moved back to England from Spain in April 2010 and now live in Ashford, Kent, where I’ve now joined my local community choir, Ashford Sings! Since I did so I’ve had a tremendous social life and made many friends. I also now belong to Ashford Vineyard which is a great community church with loads of social events. Life is fab!

  33. Those men are looking for Barbies deserves them . I form my outlooking and personality for my own expectations . Balanced diet, balanced lifestyle, balanced satisfaction !!!

  34. Yeah , it looks bleak finding a decent , trustworthy man. I don’t know why I think I’d like one. I’d take $$$ over one.

  35. I agree with Gail and Gwen. I have been on my own since my husband died 7 years ago and I enjoy it. Now men want younger women

  36. Coyote ugly guys are on me like fleas on a dog…where are decent ,interesting, fun,attractive guys like in those Viagara commercials..they must be hidden some cave?.

  37. I have been online dating, for quite a fewyr.but I always attract the wrong element.Married men looking for some on the side,

  38. Yikes! I’m a widow for only a bit over a year after 40+ years married. I can’t imagine. And at this point have no desire to imagine. What will be will be. I’m not going out looking for a man. I don’t need one to feel validated!

  39. ‘This may sound harsh, but I could care less about a man in my life…so far they are just dirty little boys. I prefer to never marry again or buy a house. It’s all such a disappointment in the end. I want to be free of all those attachments, finally. I’m not a hermit by any means….just the above issues no longer interest me.

  40. egyetértek! :)

  41. Dating in our 60’s is nothing like dating in the 1960’s! Which is precisely why Edward and I wrote our book!

  42. Hahaha! A true Magyar!

  43. If they are searching for a Barbie, then I expect them to look like Ken, but obviously they don’t look at themselves in the mirror. None of us are going to look like we were when we were younger. That’s reality!

  44. Hi June, totally agree with what you said, i have some friends but they all have partners so weekends are not good at all.

  45. I too have a very active, vibrant life with children and friends, but would love to meet someone for companionship, eg, dinner, theater. However, at 66, men my age want 30-40 somethings who are stacked like Barbie, among other things.

  46. That said, on a more serious note – I don’t think its always the case that older men want younger woman. My ex- is with someone his age, and a couple of friends have very nice and genuine new partners of the same age. The sort that want a much younger woman are not the sort most of us would surely want anyway!

  47. I don’t really want another full time live-in relationship…… although very wealthy and aged 99 plus would not be a bad bet… ;)

  48. Honestly, if he was like over 80 and very rich I would consider a partnership again – I personally don’t go for yonger men ;)

  49. Well Jill and Linda, you are very lucky you dont live in Norfolk England cause as a single mature women you wouldnt be living life to full here and have a good social life, its a very coupled up place and if you are over 45 and manless its impossible. its bank holiday weekend here today and i am personaly bored to tears and have no chance of all to socailize, my friends all have partners and its crap if you dont.#

  50. these ladies have a good point…men want younger woman and the interesting fact is that young woman are available to them for many reasons including security and the way they will be treated because of the age difference and the man totally gaga over this relationship. Over 60…good luck!!!!

  51. tried to sign up for the site you have posted and could not understand the garbled message

  52. Agree with Gail totally impossible to find a man if over 60 even if you look good for your age, men just dont want to know.most men over 60 look grotty but they still want to pull younger women, whereas lots women look great but sadly is still a mans world, i know women in late 40s who have accepted they wont meet anyone, what hope for us, we have the sell by date, men dont.

  53. Men in your age are searhcing for 10-15 year younger women .Quite a few are brave enough to be interested in mature women. As for me I also find a bit younger men suitable for me.

  54. Who needs a man? I’m now a confident independant woman living life to the full.

  55. nah 4get it .free life widow so long .yea enjoy life on your own ?

  56. what about the pleasure of human contact…..not going to get it in our age bracket

  57. I think that when we are live always its time to love.

  58. I think it very difficult for a woman over 60 to find a decent man as they all want a younger version and OMG if you are nearer 70 forget it ,,enjoy life on your own !!

  59. את צודקת

  60. How abt sixty and something ….????

  61. After 40 years of being bossed around I’m thrilled to be on my own now. I have a good social life and can absolutely please myself what I do and when – bliss!

  62. bullshit……… men in your age bracket want younger women so you might as well resign yourself to a life alone…. so better love yourself & do your own thing