How to Stop Sabotaging Yourself in Your 60s
Do you ever feel like the Universe or other people are out to get you? Interestingly, the greatest enemy you’ll ever face is staring back at you in the mirror. It knows all your tricks and how to push your buttons. Maybe you sabotage yourself in ways you’ve never imagined.
Consider these ways you might be keeping yourself from the rich and fulfilling life you deserve:
Your Standards Are Too Low
It has been said that you get what you tolerate. You, of all people, should consider your life to be a sacred thing, but sometimes you’re willing to get into relationships with people who aren’t worthy of you.
Do you ever bristle at someone’s response to you? That is your heart telling you not to tolerate treatment that is not respectful. The next time you have a negative feeling about how you are treated, ask yourself if you would ever treat someone that way.
Treat yourself like someone you care deeply for.
You’re Too Concerned with the Opinions of Others
Be brave enough to do your thing without concern for what others will think. This is part of the freedom of aging. If someone wants to judge your actions or activities, so what? You are free to be fun, adventurous or quirky!
You Lack Assertiveness
You can be ‘nice’ and still be assertive. Be willing to let others know what you think, want, and need. You’ll be more likely to achieve what you want and garner respect from others.
Make sure you speak up when you are not respected. When someone says something disrespectful to me, I sometimes respond with an innocent but assertive response: “Are you talking to ME?”
You Spend Money on Things You Don’t Need
When I had four young children, I was in a constant battle to manage their possessions. Toys and clothing threatened to bury me! I was perpetually sifting and sorting.
Now, I am in a new season of sifting and sorting. Before I buy something, I ask myself if I will really use it, where I will put it and if I really need it. A season of downsizing is easier when you stem the tide of new possessions!
You Prioritize Short-Term Over Long-Term
A vanilla latte every day versus a family vacation next year. People that struggle with this kind of dilemmas are too influenced by their emotions in the present instead of thinking long-term.
I admit I struggle greatly in this area. That yummy dish of ice cream often wins out over the thought of thinner thighs. But, as in all things, there is a balance.
I choose to live enough in the short-term to savor it. Yet I keep in mind the needs of the long-term, like sufficient finances, continued activity and mobility and a rich and fulfilling life.
You Put Your Heart Over Your Head, and Vice Versa
Figuring out whether to listen to your heart or head is a personal journey. When it comes to dealing with day-to-day decisions, your intellect is usually the best choice. Far-reaching decisions are often best left to the heart.
For example, choosing a career or a spouse might be best left to the heart. Deciding whether to spend $100 at a yard sale versus paying your electric bill on time should be made with your head.
You Fail to Commit
Without commitment, you’re just wishing, hoping and wasting your time. Once you commit to something, it’s as good as done. It’s only a question of how long it will take to do your part. If you’re willing to change your mind, you eventually will.
A case in point for me is the exercise of creativity. If I don’t commit to a writing schedule, or even a loose plan, those words don’t get created! Because I am committed to the joy of self-expression, I make the time to write and create.
You Give Fear Too Much Power in Your Decision-Making Process
We are inclined to avoid fear in the short-term rather than override that fear with intellect. Unless your life or finances are in danger, fear should be left out of the picture.
Are there things you are afraid to do? Maybe you want to travel or try something new, but fear holds you back. Would your life be enriched by the experience you fear? Sometimes you just need to go for it!
Self-sabotage is frustrating and often challenging to notice. We all sabotage ourselves in a variety of ways. The biggest obstacle to your success is yourself. Notice which of your habits make you get in your own way and begin changing them. Mastering yourself is the biggest step to mastering life.
Can you identify ways you sabotage yourself? What areas, for you, are most vulnerable? Can you think of a few small steps you can take to smash the sabotage? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Christine Field is an author, attorney, speaker, listener and life coach. She has four grown kids, mostly adopted, mostly homeschooled. She provides MomSolved© resources and reassurances to moms facing common and uncommon family life challenges. Christine helps moms rediscover their mojo for wholehearted living after parenting. Visit her website and Facebook Page.