If you ask a group of single older women describe their experiences with senior dating, you will face sighs, knowing chuckles and more than a few rolled eyes. Many women who dipped their toes in the over 50 dating waters, quickly pulled them out again. Others stayed in the dating pool halfheartedly, trying not to get scammed or hurt more than really looking for someone exciting to spend time with.

Why Can’t Senior Dating Be Fun?

Despite the challenges, there are women out there who have had a great experience with senior dating. Even if they didn’t find their “soulmate,” they had fun. The more I talk with these women, the more I understand that they are on to something.

Senior dating doesn’t have to be serious. It doesn’t even need to be about finding a husband or partner. Instead, we can choose to see dating as an opportunity to see the world, make friends and stay social. Along the way, if we find someone amazing, so much the better!

Here are a few suggestions for how to make your mature dating experience less serious and more fun.

Be Creative with Your “Date” Ideas

One of the things that I like about the dating site, How About We, is that it encourages its members to focus on things to do rather than which people to see. This creates a wonderfully wacky environment, where people can offer to do anything from eating ice-cream on the beach in winter to feeding the fish at the local aquarium.

You don’t need to be a part of How About We to follow this approach. No matter which dating website you use, try to be creative with your date ideas. Find people who share your interests and invite them to do interesting things. Focusing on doing fun things to do will take the pressure off. If a particular date doesn’t work out, you can always tell yourself that you had a new experience.

Get Comfortable with Your Own Idea of Dating Success

When we were younger, most of us thought of marriage as the natural “target” for our dating efforts. Now that we are in our 50s and older, we have so many options. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking for a partner, if that’s what you want.

At the same time, having casual fun may be more in line with your current perspective. The most important thing is to be honest with yourself. Without the pressure that you felt when you were younger, you will probably find dating much more fun.

Look Beyond Mature Online Dating

Online dating is a fantastic way to meet older men. In fact, one of my favorite dating coaches, Lisa Copeland, says that online dating is the place that she would start if she wanted to meet someone new. At the same time, there are so many other creative, fun ways to meet people.

For example, many older women have told me that they have tried speed dating. Even if they don’t meet someone special, they have 10 or more conversations in a single evening. How often would we get to do this in our “normal” lives?

Focus on Your Hobbies and Passions First

Perhaps the most important advice that I could give when it comes to senior dating is to focus on the things that you love to do. Do you love to paint? I’m confident that there are painting clubs in your city that you could join. Have you always been fascinated by bird watching? Grab your binoculars and get out there! Love hiking? So do millions of older men. When you focus on what you love, the rest comes naturally.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this! Do you agree that we tend to take senior dating too seriously? Why or why not? What advice would you give to the other women in our community who want to find a partner? Please join the conversation.

LEARN MORE

Just for fun, here’s a senior dating tips video that I recorded with dating coach, Lisa Copeland. I hope you enjoy the show!

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