Judith Viorst, in her book Necessary Losses, promoted the idea that the first half of life is about acquisition and the second half is about letting go.
One year ago today I was fighting for my husband’s life as he spent 19 days in hospital with unrelenting abdominal pain. The nursing staff had grown weary of his presence and his care was deteriorating. In my mind, any day could be the last we might have together.
When it comes to aging, while concerns about sagging skin, baggy eyes and low energy might preoccupy your thoughts, they can seem superficial when it comes to fears of developing Alzheimer’s or cognitive decline, losing your memory and developing dementia.
One thing that’s almost certain, once you’re over 60, is overcoming grief.
It’s hard to avoid grief unless we die early or we’re incredibly lucky. By now, many of us have already lost our parents, even if they lived to a ripe old age. Mine passed away at 89 and 90. Although it was hard, (they died within two weeks of each other) it was expected because of their age and was easier to deal with.
I confess. I’m in love with the blank page.
It’s a metaphor for how one comes in to the world. The moment you announce yourself with a whimper or scream your blank page begins to fill with memories. Throughout childhood – when you are most vulnerable – memories are often written for you. Not all of them happy.
We’ve reached a stage in life where death is closer to us than it ever was – death of parents, friends, siblings, associates. When it happens, we are often given advice to obtain “closure,” defined as a sense of finality…
Have you seen the statistics about the staggering amount of resources used in conventional burial? Maybe you should consider a green burial!
It seems normal to fear big decisions when one is over the age of 60. We’re more risk averse, afraid of ambiguous outcomes and dark shadows that loom around the corners of unexplored territory.
It’s easier to stay safe, maintain the status quo.
Just when you feel least able to cope with life after your husband’s death, you’ll be faced with making crucial decisions that can affect your finances, your family, your livelihood and more.
Having lost both parents I was no stranger to major loss, but in 2012 when my sister Linda died I knew this parting was unique. I looked for support but found more information about coping with the loss of a pet than how to handle losing an adult sibling.