After divorce, are you making this happiness mistake? Let me explain.
A while ago, I was laid off from a 9-5 job and I started to panic. As I started to assemble a resume and apply for new jobs, a voice in the back of my head kept chiming in: “I will be happy again once I am in a new job. Once I get that first pay check, I know I’ll smile and feel better about everything.”
Divorce after 50 can make you feel like everything you’ve known has been taken from you. The life you planned and your vision of the future may disappear, leaving you with a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to go from here.
But when you feel like this, don’t panic! There is merely one thing you must remember:
Unfortunately, men and women rarely ask themselves two essential divorce questions as they begin the process or while negotiating the final settlement:
I have found that in many cases a divorcing couple becomes focused upon the division of assets without consideration to the cost of ownership and income tax issues, which can create a significant imbalance.
When recovering from divorce after 50, every day can feel like a struggle.
Learning how to reinvent ourselves, establish our independence again, and figure out what we want during this next chapter of our lives is a bit overwhelming. Oftentimes, we may forget to see all the wonderful things that await us.
Marriages, especially ones that have lasted for decades, take work. Every day will not be a honeymoon. Arguments, compromises, and sacrifices will no doubt be daily currency. While the give and take in a relationship is normal, there are instances when staying married is not a sustainable option.
Divorce for women over 50 gets a bad rap. We have this cultural conditioning where we tend to see a divorced woman left with nothing. She has nowhere to turn and having no clue what to do with the rest of her life.
Divorce guilt comes in all sorts of mutating forms. It is normal for many of us to feel like we were somehow to blame for the divorce. Culturally, we are taught that keeping the household and marriage successful was our responsibility.
Unlike in previous generations, dating after a divorce is an accepted option for women over 60.
Grief is a tricky thing. We understand the process during the death of a loved one but forget its role during divorce, especially if when ending a decades-long marriage.