As we reach our 60s, many women feel a certain amount of tension between our need for intimacy and our desire for independence. This is true whether we are single or in a relationship.
Do you know an older couple whose relationship still has the romantic spark it did when they were younger? They hold hands, cuddle and coo and even kiss each other passionately in public.
Then there are those over the age of 60 whose coupling has evolved into a more platonic relationship. They still like each other, but may sleep in separate bedrooms or even live apart.
After my husband died, I continued to wear my diamond ring on my left hand for almost a year. Then I shifted it to the right hand where I wore it for many more months. I kept moving it back and forth – left hand for a few days, then right hand a day or two, and back again to the left.
When you think of a 40th wedding anniversary party, what springs to mind? Do you imagine an intimate dinner? Or, do you perhaps picture a large gathering with friends and family, drinking Champagne into the wee hours of the morning?
Over 50 and unmarried? You might be divorced, widowed, or perhaps never married. You likely at least have given marriage some serious thought. But… don’t most of them fail? Not so.
According to a short Google search I just conducted, the best historic evidence suggests that marriage as a formal institution has existed for nearly 5,000 years.
In all that time, there has likely never been one single wife who, at some point or other, didn’t blurt out these words of frustration to her husband, “You don’t listen to me!”
Soon after my book was published, I attended a community luncheon. Several couples were seated at my table, and we introduced ourselves. After watching me for a few minutes, one wife suddenly exclaimed, “Oh, I saw your picture in Sunday’s newspaper. You wrote that guidebook for widows!”
This year, my husband of 34 years and I both turned 64. We got cards for each other with the iconic Beatles song that said, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?” I could not help but reflect on how we both survived.
Have you ever noticed that everyone seems to have marriage advice for newlyweds, even if they haven’t had a successful marriage themselves?