This year, my husband of 34 years and I both turned 64. We got cards for each other with the iconic Beatles song that said, “Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I’m sixty-four?” I could not help but reflect on how we both survived.
Have you ever noticed that everyone seems to have marriage advice for newlyweds, even if they haven’t had a successful marriage themselves?
It’s a well-known fact that I’m a big proponent of “seconds.” All sorts of seconds, from second helpings (that’s where the “big” comes from) to second chances.
“If I’m so fabulous, then why am I single?”
This question came to me and I realized I have to write about it. I often ask it of myself. I see my friends with their various backstories, neuroses and impossibilities, in relationships. High maintenance types, neurotics, just plain crazies, you name it, they have a partner.
What is the key to a meaningful relationship? Not just the one you have with your husband, lover, or partner, but any relationship. As we get older, our life journey becomes shorter and time becomes more precious. The answer to that question becomes more urgent. It is more sought after, and often more difficult to achieve.
It takes more than love and determination to make a marriage work. People in successful marriages know that they have to compromise, accept a certain loss of independence, sacrifice some of their goals and, more often than not, put the other person first.
“Play is an antidote to the mundane responsibilities of adulthood.” – Perel
If you do an Internet search for 40th wedding anniversary gifts, you will find hundreds of pages that tell you pretty much the same thing. The traditional 40th anniversary gift is “ruby.” If you want a cheaper option, go for something red – red candles, red glasses or red cards.
“Love and marriage, love and marriage go together…” Well, you know the rest of the song. If only it was that easy! In many ways, falling in love is simple. Turning our passion into a lasting marriage is something else entirely. Fortunately, we have our sisters in the Sixty and Me community to turn to for advice. Many people in our community have been happily married for 4 decades of more and they want to share their secrets with you.
The other day, I heard a comedienne tell a story about an experience that she had flying Delta, in coach. She said that the flight attendant walked through the aisle and asked if anyone wanted to read The Wall Street Journal. She remarked: “If I was the kind of person who read that paper, I’d be up front instead of back here!”