Have you every had to tell yourself to stop being so hard on yourself? If you’re like most people, the words that form in your head are probably automatic. Most of the time, there is nothing wrong with this. After all, it would be exhausting to analyze everything that we said to ourselves. At the same time, if you are feeling stressed or anxious, it is possible that your own negative self-talk is part of the problem.

For example, when you encounter difficult situations, do you tend to assign negative labels to yourself? If you make a mistake at work, are you likely to think “I’m no good at this” or “I just can’t learn new things quickly enough”? By themselves, these statements may feel harmless, or even realistic.

Over time, our negative self-talk contributes to our stress and anxiety.

What’s the alternative? Positive self-assurance. Instead of saying “I’m no good at this,” force yourself to say the more realistic, “Ok, it’s taking me a while to get this… but, I know I will eventually. I’m a smart person and it’s just a matter of time.”

Notice that you’re not lying to yourself. You are simply framing your problem in a realistic and positive way.

Stop being so hard on yourself - You are often your own worst critic. Learn to replace limiting statements like “I can’t…” with more realistic and positive statements and you will be on the road to happiness in no time!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you often find that you harder on yourself than you need to be? Have you tried using positive self-assurance in the past? What was your experience? Please join the conversation.

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