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Tackling the 4 Unsuccessful Dating Habits That Mature Women Develop

By Lisa Copeland October 27, 2023 Dating

Mature women are not that much different than their younger counterparts when it comes to dating. They want to love and be loved. Yet, because they’ve had decades to master the art of dating, they often pick up some bad habits along the way.

Dating Habit #1 – Falling for a Bad Boy

Oh, those bad boys. They make you feel amazing, don’t they? And they have an exciting vibe about them which makes normal nice guys look boring, right?

The problem with falling for a bad boy is he knows how to charm you, but his words are rarely followed up by any kind of action. And that is a problem.

Bad boys are always on the hunt for the next conquest. And they can come back again and again between those conquests convincing you once again with their mastery of using words that they only want you. You forgive them. Things are good again, then they leave again and break your heart.

Nice guys may feel flat to you, but they will be the ones who bring you a glass of wine at the end of a hard day or go to the store and bring you chicken soup when you have a cold. You want a man whose actions follow his words. That man is a keeper for the long haul.

Dating Habit #2 – Thinking You’ll Know He’s “The One” When You Meet Him

First of all, this rarely happens. Yes, you’ll hear stories about women who’ve said they just knew he was The One when they met their husbands.

What you’re not hearing are the stories about women who thought they’d found the one. But then, after some time passed and the chemistry wore off, they found he wasn’t even remotely close to who they wanted to spend the rest of their life with.

This is why you want to take the time to get to know a man, especially if he’s nice and treats you well. And that’s pretty hard to do unless you give him a chance with more dates to see what he has to offer the relationship.

Dating Habit #3 – Falling in Love with a Man’s Potential Versus His Reality

Did you know men fall in love with the real you; quirks and all? But we as women fall in love with a man’s potential and that leads us to trying to mold him into his best self.

One of men’s biggest pet peeves is about women they’ve dated who were always trying to change them whether it was the clothes they wore, the food they ate, or how they did their job.

If you don’t like who a man is, do both of you a favor and let him go. There are other men out there who will be a better match for you just the way they are.

Dating Habit #4 ­– Looking for Chemistry or Immediate Attraction to Decide if He’s “The One”

This dating habit is the NUMBER 1 HABIT that can keep you from finding the right man to share your heart and life with. You see, instant chemistry is nothing more than the release of oxytocin, also known as the bonding hormone. It feels amazing, and that’s why we look for it.

But the thing is, you can have amazing chemistry with a man who might not be the right man for you. And the bonding hormones keep you from seeing that right away because being near him feels so good. Chemistry also causes you to trust men who might not be so trustable.

As you get to know a man, chemistry can grow, especially when you get clear on how he treats you and whether or not you share the same values in life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What Dating Habits are you holding onto that are keeping you from finding love after 50? Are there other bad habits that you’ve developed over the years? We would love to hear your stories!

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Spot on advice. After two marriages – one that ended in an amicable divorce at 32 and a second marriage that ended with my husband’s death after 18 years, I met a man who I thought was my “it.” Lots of fun and excitement. Great chemistry. Well… he was a narcissist who put me through extreme highs and lows for 9 years. So your advice re the man who might seem a bit boring at first – is usually the better choice. Also – learning to be alone and comfortable in your own skin before seeking “completion” in a relationship is something to explore before dating again.


These are also good tips for looking at your old married or long term relationship partner.


I now live in a small retirement community (though I have not retired), but find I miss my late husband too much to be interested in dating someone else. Nigel really understood me! Therefore, he is an impossible act to follow…….though I miss being held in a warm embrace, I honestly am at peace with being alone; I don’t like it, but I’m at peace. Fortunately, I enjoy my own company!


Hi June, although off the subject, HOW did you find a retirement community? I have been looking although not 65 yet and everything is so high priced or completely in the ditches of an apartment!

The Author

Lisa Copeland is a leading internationally recognized Love Coach and Dating Expert for women over 50 inspiring and teaching them how to feel confident, empowered and joyful dating. You can get a free copy of her eBook “The 5 Little Known Secrets to Finding a Quality Man” at

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