Friendships

A table of women laughing before the senior center program. A group photo from the church retreat. Smiling faces in the park district newsletter after Bunco night. It’s easy to look at moments like these and conclude that everyone else has found the friendships you’ve been searching for. Those moments are real. But they’re only one expression of friendship…

We are a group of seven women of a certain age, sitting around the dinner table (yes, there is wine), talking about relationships. Since we don’t know one another that well, there are lots of questions…

As we age, we often find it harder to make friends. Many of the friends we still have are those we made as children, teenagers, or as adults with small children. I have always travelled a lot. From about the age of 10, I have been journeying around…

The next time you see a tree, let it remind you of the value of friendship and community. When I turned 70, I found myself stunned and lost, wondering “Where did everyone go?” I had recently left full-time work, and around the same time, my grandson, whom I’d raised, launched into young adulthood…

The air inside the market carried the scent of yeast and something faintly floral. Coastal fog clung to the redwoods, but here the light through salt-hazed windows came in warm, settling over bins of produce and jars of honey. The space, built from reclaimed cedar, felt worn in the right places…

I don’t know about you, but as I get older, my tolerance for small talk decreases. I used to be in a profession in which schmoozing was important. I often took CEOs of public companies out to dinner to discuss their business goals. I advised many management teams and formed meaningful relationships with the investment community…

Let’s say the quiet part aloud. Some senior communities feel like high school cafeterias with better lighting. There are cliques. There is whispering. There are women who decide who is “in” and who is quietly pushed to the margins…

The world is changing for 60-year-old women. We no longer have the social context that we enjoyed as a wife, parent or co-worker. Building community and creating a network of like-minded friends is a challenge, but not impossible…

Based on our many conversations with women over 60, a quiet theme keeps emerging. After a big life change, retirement, relocation, or both, many expected community to feel easier. With more time and fewer obligations, connection seemed like it would naturally follow…

“I don’t care what anyone thinks” is one of those sentences people say casually and often, usually without pausing long enough to test whether it’s true. It has the rhythm of independence and the posture of courage, which makes it attractive…