Humor

Please be patient with me – I’m from the 1900s. Not 1900, but the 1900s. And not to brag, but I was alive when you could slam a phone down to make a point. A real receiver. A real cord. A real “thunk” when I slammed it down. It was glorious…

When I was younger, I thought adulthood was a finite destination. A glamorous point on the map where I’d have a fully stocked, organized spice rack, a working knowledge of how to prevent breakouts, and the ability to make small talk at parties without sweating through my shirt…

We just celebrated Thanksgiving in America, and I struggled a bit with my thankfulness this year. I won’t go into the details, but sometimes the ebbs and flows of life…

We all love having choices. Cow’s milk or oat? Streaming or cable? Stay in or go out? We want to be the deciders. Masters of our destiny. Queens of our calendars. But what I didn’t know I didn’t know was that sometimes – sometimes – having fewer choices can actually bring…

You know, aging is a funny thing. Not ha-ha funny, but more like, “Wait, what just happened? I could’ve sworn I was still 35,” funny. And somewhere between strapping my kids into car seats and getting my AARP card, I realized something peculiar: The world is slowly, quietly…

As I approach my 60th birthday, I find myself feeling a bit clueless after retiring from teaching elementary school for more than 30 years. I look at young people with a mix of fright and disdain, wondering how they can be so confident in their youth…

After nearly four decades of teaching elementary school, I’ve come to realize that I am, proudly and undeniably, the tip of the iceberg. I know just enough about just about everything to be helpful, mildly impressive, and occasionally dangerous. I’ve taught geology, biology…

A lot of people ask, “What does it mean to get in your own way?” I glare at them like they’re from another planet. How can you not know? It’s like slamming a door and then trying to walk through it. As I’ve gotten older, I know better. I’ve learned not to act impulsively…

Hello readers. Welcome to my third installment investigating my ongoing battle with Valulosis (patent pending), the affliction that makes us cling to things because they might be valuable someday.
First, there was my dad, who refused to part with his…

I recently listened to a podcast about the Beanie Baby craze of the 1990s, and it triggered a memory so bizarre, it’s part of an urban legend – except it happened to me. In the mid-90s, I was a third-grade teacher with a classroom full of kids and, naturally, a collection…