As you already know, attracting Mr. Right into your life can be a bit challenging. Unfortunately, growing up with fairy tales as children and romantic movies as an adult, you probably got an unrealistic picture of who men are and how they operate in the dating world.
Just think Hallmark Movies. Your heart just pitter-patters when the couple falls in love, right? The movies make it seem as though chemistry, not getting to know someone, is the secret for finding love.
I know when I first started dating I was definitely looking for Prince Charming to just show up on my doorstep. In my dreams, he’d sweep me off my feet and take care of me forever, financially and emotionally. Oh, and the other part of that dream was we would never argue.
Funny dream and totally unrealistic for finding and keeping love in your life! I was forgetting something important in this equation. I wasn’t looking at what I was going to contribute to the relationship, only what he was going to offer me. For some crazy reason, I figured my presence would be enough.
Today, this scenario makes me laugh, but at the time, I really believed the perfect man would just walk into my life and I’d know him the second we met. Sound familiar? Fortunately, I’ve learned a lot since then. To attract Mr. Right, I realized I had to stop letting men choose me.
My power came from having a clear vision of who Mr. Right was beyond a couple of qualities I thought were important at the time. I had to dig deep on this and I ended up figuring out a formula called a Quality Man Template that showed me exactly who the right man was for me.
My Quality Man Template is a comprehensive tool that includes looking at patterns in men you’re attracted to, your deal breakers, the qualities you want in a man, the values that are important to you and how you want to feel around him.
This dating tool does two things for you. It sends a message to the Universe that this is who you are looking for. And it keeps you from getting involved with the wrong men over and over again. Now I have a question for you.
So, what makes your guy the right man for you? Is it his values? The way he looks? The way you feel when you’re around him? Is it a man who can afford fine dining or expensive vacations? Or is it what he does in life?
Does he have any of your deal breakers? Is he anything like the last man you dated? A woman settles when she doesn’t honor her deal breakers thinking a man will change…he doesn’t!
Part of the reason you might be failing at finding Mr. Right is most of us get into a pattern of attracting the same man over and over again without even realizing it. At first, he seems so amazing, until the same issues you had in your last couple of relationships come back up again to haunt you.
It wasn’t until I created a patterns chart in my Quality Man Template that I was able to clearly see how and why I was doing this.
Take a few minutes to think about whether you’ve been dating the same wrong men over and over again. It’s really important because the type of men you’re most attracted to are probably the worst men for you.
Why? Because if you’re type worked, you’d be with your type right now. If you can expand beyond your usual ‘type’, you’ll have far more quality men to chose from. In my opinion, there is a guy out there who is right for you.
Just make sure you have a clear vision of who the right man is for you so you can see him.
Do you have a clear idea of the man you are looking for in your life? Have you been looking for the same type of wrong man all your life? Have you given up on finding a man in your life, or keeping a positive attitude? Please share some of your experiences and insights you gained in the comments below.
Tags Senior Dating Advice