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Coping with Our 70-Plus Year-Old Bodies – Is It Even Possible?

By Ann Richardson January 23, 2024 Mindset

When my son, now in his late 30s, was about five years old, he made a remark that has stayed with me ever since. He had gone through a stage, thankfully brief, when he would pee unexpectedly, leaving a small visible stain on his trousers.

I asked him, I suspect with some exasperation, couldn’t he tell when it was coming? “No, Mum,” he said, “it is kind of like an ambush.”

He hit the nail on the head. Our bodies do ambush us all the time – from childhood right on up. We don’t see it coming.

The Struggle with Our Bodies

It starts as early as any of us can remember – we ran too fast on a pavement, we climbed that tree and, all of a sudden, we found ourselves on the ground and in pain.

From small scrapes to broken limbs, we learned early on that our bodies could be a nuisance and did not behave as we had planned.

Not to mention the many childhood diseases. I got absolutely all of them – measles, German measles, even Scarlet Fever, which was very serious in those days. I have a number of chicken pox scars to remind me of that particular bout.

And, of course, numerous colds and flus that came and went, as I mixed with other children at school.

Our teens and beyond brought an even bigger ambush – the menstrual period. It arrived when we least wanted it and, for some of us, on no particular schedule. We waited for it to come and, at some point, worried when it did not. Or, we wanted children and worried when it did.

We have all spent some hours over the course of our lives thinking about what was or was not happening down there. With no control.

Older Bodies

Of course, as we grew older, we were subject to large numbers of potential illnesses. Many of us have been through one or another life-threatening disease and many of us have lost friends through this route.

I lost a good friend to one of the worse scourges of our time, HIV/AIDS and, with his help, wrote a book about people living with AIDS and HIV.

And things only get worse as we age. “Old age is not for sissies,” they say, and they are right. Our bodies ambush us in one way after another.

The older we become, the more prone we are to serious illnesses that stop us in our tracks. We cannot hear or see as well as we used to, we can no longer run as fast as we would like, if we can run at all. And even the problem my then five-year-old son experienced rears its annoying head.

Some of us, although presumably not those reading here, lose our minds, bit by bit, to one kind of dementia or another. This is an ambush like no other – not part of anyone’s life plan.

Attitudes

How do you feel about all these events taking place within your own body? Do you quietly accept that this is part of being human and we should struggle through with dignity? Do you feel it is part of God’s plan?

Or do you, like me, rail against them? I have been amazingly healthy all my adult life, as was my father. And, like him, I get enormously angry when my body lets me down. How dare it not do what I want it to? Who gave it permission to succumb to a cold or flu or worse?

Yes, I know this makes no sense. I should accept each challenge as it arises. It is part of life’s rich tapestry. You are doubtless made of stronger stuff.

My husband says I will be indignant on my death bed – and it may well be true. I will let you know.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What was the worst health problem you experienced in your life? Do you accept these challenges as part of the human condition or do you rail against them? Please share your attitude in the comments below.

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Joyce

After reading all the comments, here is my two cents! As I told my physician 20 years ago, Dr. H. going through menopause is mind over matter. He laughed, and two years later he asked me how going through the change was. I said I couldn’t tell him because I experienced no symptoms. He agreed that was possible because 25% of women who exercise on a regular basis fly through menopause. Just saying….

Debbie

When I was 28 years old and thriving, my body changed dramatically. Diagnosed with a severe form of Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I had never heard of, I struggled with what felt like old age. It lead to numerous joint replacements and deformities. Then, I was recommended for a study which turned out to be a new biological drug that saved my life. Enbrel. I am now 68 years old and feel very blessed to be around and moving. The pain I have now is not as bad with Enbrel’s help. So, I feel like I had experience with aches and pains as a frightened young woman and can handle my older age pretty well. I wouldn’t mind being younger but I’m good. 😊

lynn

Every day I wake with bad back stiffness. Every day I give myself a pep talk that it could be so much worse. I don’t like this stage of life at 71 because I am not one to sit still. I have been active and healthy all my life. Unfortunately, it appears this is our destiny. We can only work on staying positive at this stage and my motto: “Do it while you can, if you can and when you can”. Mother nature is not nice……

Linda

I have degenerative disc disease so I, too, wake up every morning stiff and sore. I don’t let it get me down. I still exercise and don’t let it stop me from doing anything I want to do.

louise

quit complaining – at least you have a husband with you! and…that quote you used is not from ‘they’ – it’s Bette Davis!

Beth

i don’t feel like this was complaining, just recognizing out loud

i don’t mean to argue with you personally, but i thought i felt so much camaraderie while reading it – and things have ‘ambushed’ me, for sure.

i’m it total agreement with you about having an aversion about complaining, but i’ve noticed when i talk about things -just the facts, not ‘poor me’- i find solutions where others landed in like circumstances

i abhor being around people who focus on my Obvious Gimp. i want to be who i am, not how i’m dinged up. i built an invisible wall for my neighbor. she was over-solicitous about my physical condition, much of which is from birth and i added on with motorcycles, weights and running and funning. i come by who i am honestly :-) i love my mile markers. but they’re not all i am, and i abhor people up in my personal business. i told her. she said ‘i heard you the second time’ (out of -like- 8 times i told her her over concern was off-putting) so i also agree that living there isn’t functional or fun. i protect my outlook and mindset with a vengeance

and my daughter is the ‘keeper of my sanity’ – she gets to call it if the old lady goes all the way around the bend – lol. but i have given myself permission to relax. loosen up. get floaty (which may explain my writing style – ha). i’m retired and am just playing with different interests with an eye out to be plugged in again; i don’t feel like i’m ‘done’ by any means! :-)

i find the ‘ambush’ idea humorous.

Renee Lovitz

I have had heart surgery. I also have arthritis. I take everything in stride.
I am doing the best I can every day.
I am 75 and still driving and seeing people every day. I can usually do anything I want.

Beth

you inspire me

Linda

That is a great attitude. It’s not about what you can’t do but about what you can do.

The Author

Ann Richardson’s most popular book, The Granny Who Stands on Her Head, offers a series of reflections on growing older. Subscribe to her free Substack newsletter, where she writes fortnightly on any subject that captures her imagination. Ann lives in London, England with her husband of sixty years. Please visit her website for information on all her books: http://annrichardson.co.uk.

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