Being scammed is one of the scariest concerns you might have about dating at this time in your life. What makes it feel even scarier are the TV shows like The Tinder Swindler that recently aired on Netflix. This show depicted real-life incidents of how smart women were scammed by a dating con artist.
I want to put your mind at ease and give you some tools for identifying scammers so that you can safely date and have fun attracting, meeting and keeping the man who is right for you.
Let’s start with how The Tinder Swindler maneuvered women into giving him a lot of money that ultimately wiped out their bank accounts. This guy was slick. He flashed lots of money to his dates whether it was taking them to very expensive restaurants and hotels on a 1st date or flying them around Europe for more amazing dinners and luxury hotel stays on 2nd and 3rd dates.
When you are being actively pursued by a man who you think could have had anyone he wanted because he’s so wealthy, it can cloud your judgment about who he is and what his intentions are.
Not only was The Tinder Swindler impressing women financially, he was also connecting with them emotionally. Why? Because when your heart is connected with a man, a scammer knows you will do anything for him out of love.
The Tinder Swindler scam was not that complicated. The man used his current victim’s money to finance his high lifestyle and, like sailors did back in the day, when they had a different woman in every port; this man was wooing women all over Europe at the same time.
When he needed more money to support himself, he’d tell his current love that a business deal was falling through and that the bank couldn’t get him the money as quickly as he needed it so he was going to lose a major deal if she didn’t help. He also added danger into all of this, claiming men were after him because of the business he was involved with.
His victims had fallen in love with him, and they wanted him to be ok, so they wired the money he needed or gave him credit cards thinking he’d pay them back. And to keep them hooked even further, he would give them checks but unfortunately, the accounts they were connected to had Insufficient Funds when the women tried to cash them.
Over and over, The Tinder Swindler asked these women for money and when they’d finally say “No more,” he’d display aggressive and threatening behavior towards them. Of course, this scared them into giving him more money that they borrowed on credit because they trusted him to pay it back.
Eventually, these women were wiped out financially, and at this point, The Swindlerwould disappear because these women no longer served his monetary needs.
Now, you might think, “How could these women not see this guy was taking them for a ride?” When you’re wooed in a way that fills you up emotionally and financially, it’s easy to wear rose colored glasses that keep you from seeing who a man really is.
So, how do you prevent this from happening in your life? Here’s 7 Tips that can help you stay safe as you’re out there dating.
If he’s too good to be true, whether it’s a lot of money being flashed around or an amazingly handsome face, he probably is a scammer. Scammers often steal pictures of handsome men from social media sites. The Tinder Swindler openly shared pictures using another man’s identity and photo-shopped his image into the real man’s photos.
It’s likely The Tinder Swindler would have been caught if these women had used Google images to verify the photos. But he knew the women would trust him if he produced them up front.
Phone scammers will get you to the phone quickly because they can’t sustain the English language in emails and texts. And they will spend hours with you in person (like The Tinder Swindlerdid) or more commonly on the phone asking you subtle questions that helps them figure out your weak spots.
Then they will tell you the same thing happened in their life. You will feel so understood and begin to think, that man is The One because no other man has ever really understood you so completely.
Here’s some good advice for dealing with communication with any man. Use it to protect yourself from scammers. Exchange 5-10 short emails on the site, have no more than 2 phone calls and get to the Meet and Greet within 2-3 weeks of his initial contact.
The more time you spend on the phone with a scammer, the more time he has to connect to you emotionally. This allows him to create a fake relationship that makes you feel loved. And because he touched your heart and you now trust him, you might reveal a lot of personal information he doesn’t need to know.
If he says he can’t meet because he is in the military, on an oil rig in the ocean or in Ghana or Nigeria on a project, end the conversations and tell him when he gets back to the area, he can reach out again.
Listen to your friends if they are sharing, they believe you might be involved with a scammer. They are not emotionally attached to this man so they can see more clearly than you might be able to see at this point.
If a scammer spends a lot of hours on the phone with you, he’s captured your heart and you might want to give him any money he asks for because you’re feeling such an intense love and connection with him. Remember, you’ve never met this man, yet you are in love with him – this is a huge RED FLAG that you are likely involved with a scammer.
If he’s being abusive or threatening, his behavior is going to scare you into thinking you have to give him the money or he will harm you in some way. At this point, you’ll want to file a complaint with the appropriate federal agency as soon as possible or get in touch with the fraud division of your local police department for advice on how to handle the situation.
Create an active life that you enjoy so you don’t have time to spend hours every day on the phone. Scammers prey on women who share in their profiles that they are lonely. It’s the perfect entry into your life.
Use these tips to make your dating life a lot easier and more fun!
What scam stories have you heard in connection with dating websites? How do you protect yourself from dating scams?
Tags Senior Dating Advice