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Music for the Ages: The Wheel That Makes Life Transitions Bearable

By Stephanie Raffelock February 14, 2024 Lifestyle

The music of my youth was more than melody and words. It was a kind of guidance into adult life, a soundtrack for thoughts and feelings that I didn’t know how to reach on my own but were given to me by the likes of Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Paul Simon, and James Taylor.

Music helped to usher my generation over the bridge, from untethered youth to the constraints of being a grown up. It’s what made the transition bearable.

Music’s Unexpected Gifts

Recently, my husband recorded the Hyde Park concert of Carole King performing Tapestry, one of the all-time great albums ever. As we watched it together, I was surprised that the concert moved me to tears.

Was it the music that made me nostalgic, conjuring up memories of a younger self, a wanna-be songwriter who never quite got her career off the ground?

Was it how the camera panned the crowd of thousands and thousands of people who knew every word to every song and sang along in a kind of ecstatic celebration of Tapestry’s musical masterpiece?

The Teachings of Poetry and Performance

What got me going was when a large picture of a young Carole King appeared on the enormous screen behind her. A film of a 30-year-old Carole, singing (You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman while the 74-year-old Carole harmonized with her younger self.

The old woman gazing into the face of her youth, while she sang along was a profound moment. That’s what brought me to tears – that larger than life visual metaphor.

As I grow old, I realize that I long for moments that allow me to sing along and harmonize with acknowledging the past, hoping for the future, and loving the right here, right now of being alive.

The Big Changes

Mid-life is a time of working and focusing on goals and ambition. Most of us got lost in the identification of our work, only to discover that age had inched up on us anyway.

It confronted us with questions as to failure and success, usefulness and significance. It’s a slippery slope to contemplate those questions, lest we give ourselves the wrong answer. But here was the right answer in the form of an old Carole King singing with her younger self.

The Circle Turns

Our lives are a series of turnings; circles that we experience as seasons and years. “Look at how long I’ve lived,” this cycle implores. The past pulls on us to make peace with it, so that we can live life more fully. The present asks us to sing in harmony.

Seeing Carole King perform at age 74 was an amazing experience, one that underscored how far I’ve come – how far we’ve all come. Ms. King inspired me to be the old woman, gazing into the face of youth with appreciation in her heart and a song of love on her lips.

Though my musical tastes have changed and expanded over the years, some music will forever be etched on my soul, always compelling, still informing, wonderfully inspiring. Music, in my life, will forever be a bridge making the transitions more bearable.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which artists are your favorite, and which ones continue to inspire you to sing along? What was the last concert you attended and what was the experience like? Please share in the comments below.

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Patty Boughton

Music is tonic for my soul! So many artists, lyrics, moods…Bonnie Raitt speaks volumes & the Grateful Dead ALWAYS has a relevant song for my mood!

Joyce

I think 80s music is the only thing (except for God) that got me through hard times and also everyday times. It transported me back to who I was and while carrying me to who I am and will become in the future. My future self appreciates me listening, dancing and going to concerts of 80s music.🙃

monica

Please add a “what i’m listening to” section on your site. It would be wonderful to hear everyone’s different playlists. :)

Vanya Drumchiyska

Hi Monica,
Thanks for the suggestion.
Could you please describe how you see this section in your mind? We are always happy to implement things that will be helpful/entertaining.
You could reach me at editor@sixtyandme.com or comment here in reply.
Wishing you a happy day!

jennifer

Anne Murray made me proud to be a Canadian. She was Canada’s song bird back in the 1970s. She was a fine model for what is now called “self leadership.”

Linda

I listen to music depending on what I’m doing. I was a teenager in the 70s, my go to back there is is always Bowie’s Life on Mars. I was fortunate enough to be able to see the touring exhibition of his stage clothes twice (in Bologna and Barcelona) and the ice blue suit he wore in the video was a great example of 70s fashion. There’s just something about the lyrics in it that appealed to my teenage sensibilities at the time.

When I’m ironing clothes I choose a Spanish Classical Guitar CD I bought in Madrid 20 years ago, the instrument played dates back to 1820. I also like this if I’ve cooked a dinner for a special occasion. Some pieces are quiet, some dramatic, they were used on children’s animated TV shows made by the BBC when I was a child so I guess that’s why I like it.

Christmas is Handel’s Messiah whilst I’m decorating the tree, the version I have features Kenneth McKellar of Scotland and Dame Joan Sutherland of Australia. This has happy memories for me as I used to work in an art gallery back in the 90s and took it in as background music. A colleague who was formerly an actor and has a great voice sang along to it, it was lovely.

Another go to of mines is for when I need to shake myself up and get some energy going in the morning – it’s the B52s Rock Lobster. I have a great time going crazy to it and suddenly I’m 17 again although my knees tell me otherwise!

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The Author

Stephanie Raffelock is a journalist, a blogger and an aspiring novelist. In her Sixty and Me column, she explores aging dynamically, living fully and loving well.

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