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What’s the Deal with Shopping Anyway?

By Ann Richardson March 03, 2024 Lifestyle

I cannot keep my secret quiet any longer. I have suffered in silence for years. Only my closest friends know the situation and they tend to sympathise. It’s not really my fault, but I really HATE shopping. I always have.

The Problem

Let’s try to ‘unpack’ this little problem. Perhaps I had a bad experience in the past. Perhaps if I were to be given the right sort of aversion therapy (or is it the opposite?), I might learn to love shopping.

I doubt it. There is very little I could learn to like.

First and foremost, I am not very acquisitive. I don’t much like ‘things’. A new dress rarely cheers me up. Nor does finding just the right vase or tablecloth.

I might make an exception for a new book I look forward to reading, but there aren’t many such exceptions.

Secondly, I am really uncomfortable in crowds. I try to find times to shop when the crowds will be small, but it is difficult. Many shops are quiet first thing in the morning, but if it requires public transport to get there, you are stuck in any case.

As you can imagine, I would never shop in a sale – people struggling to get into the front in order to acquire that one thing specially on sale is my idea of sheer hell.

Thirdly, I can’t bear the whole process of trudging from shop to shop to find the right thing. I find it incredibly dispiriting. Leaving aside food shopping, I have never found one store – yes, even a large department store – which sold exactly what I wanted in every department.

Too Much Choice

And finally, I hate being given too much choice. I can stand for what feels like hours in front of a shelf full of breakfast cereals, feeling like a deer caught in the headlights.

Yes, I will often fall down this line of thought… Maybe I should try that one with the little bits of fruit, but no, would I be better off with something with bran? Does it have too much hidden sugar? Or salt? Is this one over-priced because it has a child’s gift inside?

Point a gun and tell me what to choose and I would be much happier.

I am certainly no better with house furnishings. However much I try to prepare for such decisions, I am constantly worrying that something is the wrong size or the wrong colour for everything else in that room. I have no ability to visualise it.

It makes me feel incompetent. Not recommended.

And it is much worse with clothes. I am an awkward size (too short, hips too big), but then everyone I know says they think they are an awkward size. No problem if you enjoy the process anyway, but in my case it is a nightmare.

I dislike the whole rigamarole of trying things on – not because of the slim young things in the dressing room – but simply because I have never been very good at getting dressed and undressed.

And then you are back to the problem of choice. Well, it doesn’t fit perfectly, but then nothing ever does, so do I choose the slightly tight waist or the awkward fit over the shoulders?

Do I really need this garment anyway?

Mail Order

So, you might argue – if you hate shopping, why not go the mail order route? It is so easy in this day and age.

Yes, I do a lot of shopping via mail order. I have learned, over time, which companies sell trousers that actually fit and which catalogues’ pictures are reasonably accurate. Some companies have very helpful staff who will discuss details like the ‘feel’ of a garment. Much welcomed by me.

It is a bit of a nuisance when you need to send things back, but they are making the packaging much more suitable for this purpose. And at least the line in the post office is not much longer than the line in the store you would have experienced if you had bought the item in a store in the first place.

The Test I Can’t Pass

Shopping feels like a kind of test that I am always failing. Either I come back with nothing – and everyone says “What? You couldn’t find anything you liked?” Or I come home with something and they say “What? You chose that?”

I hate shopping. I’m afraid the feeling will stay with me until the end.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you share a dislike of shopping? What shopping do you dislike most? Have you had any particularly bad experiences? Or, is there a different activity that you feel similarly frustrated with? Please share with the community and let’s have a chat!

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Linda

Omigoodness! Thank you! You have described it perfectly! I, too, hate shopping and always have. My mother used to say that there’s something wrong with me! It is beyond a chore. I joke with friends that shopping is my personal hell. It’s nice to know I’m not alone!

Kathy

I hate driving from shop to shop looking for clothing. In past 10 years, I’ve shopped online exclusively at two stores. I know my size with each. I’ll make an order, sometimes ordering enough items to get free shipping, or if a bit unsure of sizing of an item, I’ll order two sizes. Once received and tried on, I decide if keeping all or returning all or some. These two stores have a retail shop in a town an hour from me. One store has a 90 day return policy; the other a one year return policy. When I have returns, I drive in and return in person at each store. Only the cost of time and gas to return. But maybe I’ll invite a friend to ride along and we’ll go for lunch. This has worked very well for me for years. Sometimes while in store if it’s not busy, I’ll browse for ideas and sometimes try on items for sizing.

Marie Iddings

I am right there with you on not having any shopping desires. I loathe shopping for most household things and clothing. Whenever my friends said “let’s shop”, my immediate thought was “is it Christmas or not again”!!! To make matters worst, I grew up in a city where shopping was a past time for most women.

Laura

BIG online shopper for everything. Once you find your store that carries brands you can trust is a HUGE part of the battle. For me – there is one store I buy the majority of all of my clothing from. They carry jammies, robes, jeans, capris, tops, etc. Though I have a few other stores I will turn to. Dresses for our age are soooo hard to find!!! Getting the right length is hard for me – everything seems wayyyy too short. I used to drag myself from store to store with a 60 mile radius from where I live. THANK GOODNESS online shopping has kept from the task I now HATE!

Keep in mind – that many online & in store purchases are changing with their return policies! It’s supposed to become either restrictive or they will no longer take any returns. PERIOD! Waiting to see how that all shakes out.

Home items are the things I love to shop for!!! Online works perfectly for these items. Thrifting, estate sales, some garage sale shopping is my go to! You may be “dragging around” so take a fun friend for the day. Stop for a nice lunch. Some days I can fill up my car with our “treasures” and some days are a bust. But so, so much fun.

I truly feel for you. No crime if you don’t like to shop. We’re all different as to how we see & feel life. A person can certainly survive with little shopping!

Brenda Lownsberry

Yes! I have found a “perfect” pair of jeans, a good place to find cute tops that don’t scream “granny” or “woman who wishes she was still a teeny-bopper,” and even some comfortable-but-cute-and-yet-functional shoes (darn those bunions)! It just took some research, which involved the accursed shopping experience!

Shellie

I hate shopping, too. I think it stems from my youth; my mother never learned to drive, so Dad took all of us grocery shopping every Saturday. We’d leave at noon and get back at dinnertime because she had to visit four or five different stores….and a meat market…while we waited in the car.

I had a friend who loved to visit multiple thrift stores in an afternoon, and dragged me along against my “I’m not a ‘shop-’til-you-drop’ girl'” protests. We have a lot of wonderful nature trails close by, and That’s what I love. She went with me only once.

The only shopping I enjoy is Christmas shopping for my family. Otherwise, I have a list, stick to it, and am in and out of the store as quickly as possible.

The Author

Ann Richardson’s most popular book, The Granny Who Stands on Her Head, offers a series of reflections on growing older. Subscribe to her free Substack newsletter, where she writes fortnightly on any subject that captures her imagination. Ann lives in London, England with her husband of sixty years. Please visit her website for information on all her books: http://annrichardson.co.uk.

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