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Why the Place You Choose to Live in Retirement Says a Lot About You

By Ilene Marcus January 24, 2024 Lifestyle

Location. Location. Location.

There’s an old saying: “What you see, depends on where you stand.” How often have I traveled the same road, only to notice something new?

Sure that it wasn’t always there, I ask others: “Did you see what appeared on route 7?” The answer always comes back, “I’m surprised you just noticed that; it’s been there forever.” We get complacent in our lives, our errands, our everyday choices. And yet, where we live says so much about us.

We are born into a family who come with a home address. This doesn’t always mean we love the location; it just means it’s a choice. Our home is our place to charge our phones – updated from ‘hang our hats’.

Kenny Chesney’s hit song “American Kids” sums it up well. It says, “Momma and Daddy put their roots right here because this is where the car broke down.”

All hometown locations come with the good, the bad, the stereotypes. The truth is that with the world wide web, everything is closer and possible.

Choices abound, and most individuals can choose where to go to college, whether to join the military, work, follow a specific lifestyle or to make Aliyah. This is a Hebrew phrase used during the diaspora, loosely interpreted as pilgrimage to a new homeland.

Our story told through the places we live, work and make our homes, starts with no choice and then captures our soul, our essence, our gestalt. Get your story right.

Define Where You Live

Location definitions are more standard than you think. Look at your life through the geographic lens:

  • Suburbia: Outlying to a major city or other region, signified by big box stores, strip malls, commuter rail lines and everyone owning a car.
  • City: Downtown area – a block, a mile or 12 miles as in NYC – stores and residences co-existing, ethnic influences and a mass transit system.
  • Country: Cows, farms, very few traffic lights, limited shopping options and bring your own garbage to the dump.

Know Who You Are

Now look at your life through how you got there. You, the people, your neighbors are the special ingredient. E.B. White nailed it in 1948 with his essay Here is New York. His premise was that there are three types of people:

Natives, who are born in this place and provide stability and history. Commuters who come in for work and services and live somewhere else. They are takers, while the settlers choose to live in this place and provide passion and their accomplishments.

Make Your Choice

Where you choose to live your life and become your full self is what matters. The settlers are the life blood of any location. They want to be there. They work to make it their own.

Data shows that loving your home and your community not only boosts longevity, it increases everyday joy and says a lot about who you are. Who are you?

Tell Your Story Proudly

Here’s my story: Native of Suburbia. City Settler. Country Settler. Raised on Long Island with the first malls, carpools, driving everywhere. Chose to go to college in a City. Grad school in a bigger City. Stayed in that biggest City (NYC) for 36 years.

Following my own advice, I finally figured out who I am and what I uniquely must give to the world. I figured out what makes me happy.

And so, I chose the country. No, not another country, the country. Fields, farms, 15-minute drive to a gas station, food store, a PO Box and no signs of civilization from my front porch.

You tell your story through your choices. It’s never too late to get up and move or define who you are and why you are there with new gusto. You are the special sauce that makes you, well, you!

Owning your choice about where you live defines you. Your life is not the big moments, graduations, weddings, promotions. It’s what you live every day.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you a Native, Commuter or Settler; Suburban, City or Country? What environment nurtures your soul? What story do you want to tell about your location choices? Please share it in the comments below.

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Wilhelmina

Like others. I raised my family in suburbia. As we neared retirement we discussed moving further out. Husband was diagnosed with cancer. We spent 2.5 years visiting Princess Margaret Hospital downtown Toronto. After my loss, I stayed put until I could figure things out. A year later I met my second husband. I moved into his house, lived there for a year before moving out to the country. Both our late spouces were city people, we live about 10 minutes from a small town north east of Toronto. We live on a chunk of land and could not be happier…

Deborah

I don’t think where you retire says anything about you. I got very sick and had to have surgery. We moved because of finances from a city we loved to a small, affordable town in another state. It is not ideal (especially in an election year) but we make the best of it. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.

Joan T

I grew up and worked in Portland, Oregon before I married and moved about 100 miles south to Eugene, Oregon, a much smaller town. I always loved Portland and Mt. Hood looming over the city. Every time I drove to Portland to visit family, I felt I was home as soon as I saw the mountain covered in snow and knew that’s where I belonged. Throughout my marriage I traveled a lot, lived in Europe, but stayed in Eugene for my husbands job and to raise our children in a less crowded area. Soon, after our retirement, my husband agreed to move back to the Portland area in a small suburb. He grew up in the country and likes a smaller community, I get to see Mt. Hood whenever blue skies will allow and our children and grandchildren are all close by (which is one of the other reasons we relocated back to the Portland area.) Our situation suits everyone and when we get the urge to see other sites and experience other weather we travel. We even did a month’s home exchange with a retired couple in Germany. Life can be as good as you make it. Abandon fear and take a few chances! If things don’t work out you can usually work around it. We are 72, so don’t know if I’ll feel the same in my 80’s or if the time comes when I’m alone in life. Just making the best of each day as it comes!

The Author

Ilene Marcus, MSW, MPA, is the author of Managing Annoying People and runs Aligned Workplace, speaking and training Leaders and Founders to attract and retain great employees. An emerging literary writer, her goal is to make you smile just a bit more. Please visit her website at Alignedworkplace.com.

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