Choosing How to Live After 60: Alone, Lonely or Lonesome
Alone – without others present
Lonely – solitary, companionless, isolated
Lonesome – feeling lonely or forlorn
Why do so many women feel alone, lonely and lonesome? Could it possibly have something to do with choice? Is there a simple explanation that could turn these sad, often heartbreaking feelings around? Could we reverse being lonely and lonesome without involving other people, professionals, friends or family? Is it possible? Is it a choice?
Best Laid Plans
Take my situation for example. My daughter had all her plans in place to spend this past Christmas with me in my tiny, isolated cottage in Maine. Airline tickets were purchased, exciting plans were made and I was looking forward to her visit with a happy, excited heart.
Then, the phone call came a few days before Christmas. Her small doggie was quite sick. Bottom line was she felt she needed to stay home and nurse the dog. I understood, knowing this little creature meant the world to her and we could have a visit another time, although I was lucky to see her once a year.
The downhill slide came on gradually. First, the holiday ads on TV with honey-coated families sharing perfect meals, fabulous gifts, and gushy togetherness. And then, a steady stream of my very own Pity Pat Parties.
Then I Discovered Sixty and Me
Before Christmas day arrived, I chose to Google “home alone for Christmas.” Up popped Sixty and Me and a great message that I was not alone. Margaret shared that thousands of gals were out there who would be alone, just like me, along with me. And that’s how I began receiving the daily gift of inspiring, uplifting, motivating, positive messages that welcome me on my cell phone every morning.
I made my way through the holidays but I knew I needed to have a life plan in place for dealing with those times in the future when I would be alone again with emotions brimming over. I wanted to rule out any thought of future Pity Pat Parties waiting in the wings. And so, I questioned what my choices were to change this “alone” problem once and for all. Here is my solution that works for me and may work for you.
The Act or an Instance of Choosing
Let’s begin with waking up. You choose to put your feet on the floor and stand. From that moment on, you make hundreds, maybe thousands of choices all day long. You control these choices. You make them with your best interest at heart. You choose not to act carelessly, behave recklessly, accept or reject good or bad actions by others. You choose not only what you do but what you think all day long – every day.
Now, we all know there are positive and negative thoughts and actions. Doesn’t it make sense that we would choose a positive thought instead of one that is negative? Well, this is what I did.
I looked at my Christmas alone situation as squarely and fairly as I possibly could. I studied it from all angles. After asking myself again and again if I would I prefer to be positive or negative about being alone, I knew I had a choice and an answer. I would count my blessings instead of my disappointments. I would choose a smile over a tear.
Have you ever felt alone, lonely or lonesome? How did you choose your way out of these tough times? How did you begin your personal journey with Sixty and Me? Your story may be a beautiful gift to one or many in the Sixty and Me community. It’s your choice!
Pat Young is a proud and happy octogenarian. Her firm, The Portrait Group, represents today’s leading portrait artists. She is a publisher, a published writer, a note card creator and a knitter, as well as a lover of life and the great state of Maine.