Style Over 60: When I Grow Up I Want to Be a Cool Old Lady
Recently, I was looking at old pictures with my friend Susan. We have been friends since college and I mentioned when looking at old photos that I looked better than I remembered. “Yes, me too,” said Susan. “I was pretty cute back then. Why didn’t I think so at the time?”
According to a study by Dove, 77% of girls age 10-14 describe their appearance in negative ways. Many said they were ugly or fat. Maybe we need to find another way of considering the whole idea of beauty. We need to abandon the concept of having one yardstick for beauty and attractiveness that lines women up in order of appearance.
When I was in middle school, the magazines at that time featured long straight hair and of course small noses. My hair was curly and my nose was not that small. I taped down my bangs and ironed my curly hair. I am glad that I did not get a nose job like some of my friends.
The hippie days saved the day and brought liberation. Those days freed me to have curls and dress in flowing skirts and tie dyed shirts. Yet, while I thought I was bucking the styles of the magazines, I remained in their grip.
Redefining Beauty as Style After 60
Fifty years later, I’ve had an epiphany. What if we approached beauty from a different angle, the idea of “style”? Every single person has her own unique style. Every day each of us makes choices about every piece of clothing: our shoes, our jewelry, even our nails. We decide how we wear makeup or if we wear makeup at all.
Another thing about having style is that it does not have to depend on how much money we have. For example, when I travel to the Nicaraguan rainforest, I love to look at the styles of the women in that remote area. At home, one of my friends is a master at nail design. I always ask her to paint my toe nails with flowers. A bottle of nail polish costs very little and she turns my toes into a work of art!
Choices Define Our Personal Style
As an adult, I continued to be influenced by the styles from hippie days in the 60s. I have never been one for wearing a lot of makeup, and I have never owned diamonds. My hairstyles have always had a natural look. Yet, that is not totally the case.
In addition to flowers on my toes, I have gotten my eyebrows waxed and highlights in my hair. Now, I like wearing jewelry beyond the bangles and beads I used to wear. So, I have made choices all along the way. I always have had my personal style, although I did not appreciate the fact at the time.
Now, I have a new way of looking at things. When I am out and about I love to watch people and uncover their style. I look at the different types of glasses people wear. I observe their color combinations, shoes and hats.
Style After 60 Takes All Shapes
Jeans have managed to survive for years and are worn by people of all generations. The women from India who live in my town wear flowing saris with intricate designs and these very cool billowing pants that look so comfortable. Younger people are painting right on their bodies with tattoos.
Men have their style too. On a plane some time ago, I saw one man in cool cowboy boots. Another man across the aisle had dreadlocks, a black tee shirt and baseball cap. The guy to my left wore a business suit and tie. It is fun to notice all the different things people do to express their style. Beauty is all around us.
We All Define Our Individual Idea of “Cool”
Another friend of mine from college days stopped coloring her hair and let it grow out. Now she has beautiful long dark curls mixed with white streaks. She has survived many health challenges, including a kidney transplant and said to me, “I want to be an old lady.”
For her, living into her 60s is a gift and blessing she wants to cherish, not take for granted. She also said she wanted to be “cool.” That night, she was off to see her favorite rock group. I guess for me “being cool” means keeping active in the world and mixing with all kinds of people of all ages.
As I appreciate everyone’s style, I can enjoy my own. I am learning to appreciate my own style in a different way. I do not have to be bound by appearances that are expected of me. Rather, I can play with style. I have started enjoying scarves and dangling earrings. I like wearing long tops and leggings.
Now is the time to drop the worry about not looking like the women in the magazines and start setting our goals to be healthy and physically fit. Along with that, it is time to enjoy the beauty that comes from finding our own personal styles that match our excitement and curiosity and reflect the way we are living our lives.
As we well know from all the blogs found on Sixty and Me we have many choices about the way we age. And our attitude makes all the difference. So why not expand our repertoires and experiment with style?
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What have you discovered about your personal style? Does the way you dress reflect your unique individuality? How has your style evolved over time? What do you think is the essense of style after 60? Please join the conversation.
I love this article! I’ve never really been good at following the latest fashions and always felt like the odd one out. I love the boho look and sometimes a bit of 1950s glam. The older I get the better I am at wearing what I love and not what society dictates. Two things I won’t leave the house without are earrings (4 studs in each ear) and polish on my toes (even if they’re under boots or trainers).
now in my middle 60’s I have decided that I will try to look stylish every day even if staying at home and purely for my own pleasure!
I only work two days a week now and have opted for smart casual rather than strict corporate and loving it!
Hi, Full disclosure: I wrote this piece for Sixty and Me while still in my sixties. I am turning 72 this year. Thanks to Sixty and Me for republishing it. I continue to be active and have kept my hair natural after my brief period of baldness following chemo. My husband and I drove across the US in our campervan for six weeks last summer. I am teaching an online asynchronous college course that started today. I had to learn a new type of education and all the technology that goes with it. Still happy to be learning all the time. My style in the 70s is a bit more laid back than it was in my professional working years. I traveled to Germany this winter and wore my first pair of lug boots, discovering that they are very much in style these days. Next year, I will be doing more consulting, so I will reconsider my style once again. This morning, I shared this blog post with my friend, who I wrote about in the blog, and she wrote back with an update saying, “Your old lady friend with the kidney transplant is still going to rock concerts. I will be spending this entire week at WXPN, U Penn’s local non-profit radio station’s annual convention for other stations who fit into the “adult alternative” genre. Here’s the lineup. Please note that my Old 97s are on for the Wednesday free-at-noon.” Thanks to the people who added comments. Let’s hear it for old ladies with style!
I am still the same boho, sporty comfy girl i have always been. I love warm color that makes my skin glow. I ditched the corporate job several years ago. I am now in my middle sixties but i wear what i want and enjoy who i am. I wear shorts, sleeveless and swimsuits. I refuse to hide my 66 yo body. I exercise frequently and try to keep myself looking well.
i try not to obsess over my (perceived) flaws. My hubby loves me as i am. That is a win!
Ever since my early 40s I’ve had no need to be formally dressed unless it’s been for an occasion like a wedding or funeral. Prior to that I worked in a global bank and stockbrokers, then in my 30s I became an undergraduate followed by working in the Arts. In banking I wore a suit every day.
Now in my early 60s, I decided a long time ago I was never going to go down that “old lady beige” look, it makes mature people look invisible for a start!
I’m not as slim as I was in my youth, but I like bright colours, patterned scarves and big silver or costume jewellery. Bright spectacle frames for reading (I have a box full of them, the latest are cobalt blue). Last year my husband and I went to an open air screening of Barbie and had great fun dressed in shades of pink.
I too look at photos of myself in my teens and 20s and wonder why I didn’t see an attractive young woman, but as I age I like what I see and am comfortable in my skin. I have an invitation to a special wedding this year in Eastern Europe and it’s given me the motivation to lose a little weight and buy a really nice outfit.