Realizations I Need to Share on My 65th Birthday
Hello, I’m Nancy Lang Gibbs, and I just turned 65. And I’m wondering if the more I say it, and write it, the more it will begin to feel real?!
The day I saw “Nancy’s 65th birthday” on my computer calendar I honestly took a double take, and if there had been a speech bubble over my tilted head it would have said, “Whose 65th birthday?!” Seeing the visual of my name next to that number did not compute.
And I’m sure I’m not alone! This is why I’m passionate about rallying together all of us women in later life to discover how to love this time of life regardless of societal messages, and to become more aware of our internal ones as well.
Is Getting Older Easy?
Nope! And you could say that about any age!
We are all getting older. My baby grandsons are trying to sit up without falling over. Young kids beginning school are figuring out how to make new friends, college grads are faced with making a life for themselves. No matter our age, we all face challenges, fears, new stages… and new opportunities!
I will say, however, that society doesn’t make it easy. I get very frustrated with each commercial espousing how to fight aging and look younger as though getting older is a disease! Especially for women.
The Messages Are All Around Us
If we don’t use this cream and wear that make-up to hide all our “imperfections” then we won’t look beautiful. And it’s not just societal messages, it often comes from our friend and familial circles as well.
I’ll never forget one time when my grandma was visiting, and I didn’t wear any makeup that day. That night we got dressed to go out, so I put make-up on and when she saw me, she said, “Is this the same girl?” To be fair, she wasn’t intentionally trying to insult me, we’re all just so conditioned as to what ‘pretty’ is, that we pass these messages on from generation to generation.
And what begins as generational messages, can end up being believed as the truth.
Keeping Hold of Who We Are
As we enter our 50s, 60s and older, we get to a stage of life when many of us begin to feel invisible. We often don’t get the compliments we once did which can lead to feeling less attractive. Also, we can begin to feel less valued because our wisdom doesn’t seem to be as important as the influencers on social media.
We can lose sight of our beauty and importance because, perhaps, we unknowingly rely on external sources to fuel our fire, versus trusting our knowing to emanate from the fire in our belly.
This quote from Maria Shriver really resonates with me: “The truth is, we all want someone to see the jewel that is inside of us. We all long to be seen as valuable, no matter how old we are. And we work hard trying to get others to recognize our value, our worth, so often giving them the power to decide if we are, in fact, jewels to be cherished. But that power is actually our own. It’s yours. Don’t give it away.”
Yes!!
Here’s the thing: feeling appreciated, and hearing that we are valued and loved is a beautiful thing, and we’ve got to, got to, got to recognize and acknowledge it within ourselves first. We’ve got to love ourselves and know our worth without needing to hear it from anyone else; because if we don’t, we are giving our power away. And we cannot give others that power.
Prior to turning 65 last month, I had a sudden impetus to write, and what came out of me was completely unexpected. I have never been prouder of anything I’ve ever written. I have never, ever written anything like it, and it became the 95th episode that is now the most listened to episode of my podcast Loving Later Life. It is called, “Spoken Word Poetry of Birthday Thoughts & Wishes Gone Wild as I Officially Become a Senior.”
If you click on that link you can listen to it from the play bar on the website page. You can also find it on whatever podcast platform you prefer.
I hope that you listen (not because I’m looking for external praise!), but because from all reports, it encompasses parts of all of us, and I want to share it with as many people as possible. So please feel free to share and to follow the podcast if you’d like.
No one else can provide the level of pride and love that we can give to ourselves. And it’s never too late. We have the power. Anything is possible. At any age.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you turned 65 yet? How does it feel to be a senior? What does it mean to you? How does it affect your life?
Tags Getting Older
I turned 65 last November and still I can’t believe it! Some things are the same as 10, 20, 30 years ago, some are completely different and some things are heartbreaking.
One thing that is constantly on my mind is my mom passed away exactly 4 months and 1 day passed her 65th. I’m not there yet…I know I’m more healthier than she was but to be honest, I’m scared.
Such a silly thing really, but it scares me.
I completely relate to this (it can especially strike in the middle of the night!). It’s not silly it’s quite natural & I think it’s probably a common fear. But remember many people are lucky enough to outlive their parents by many years. Look after yourself & do your best to let that thought float away….
Hi Kat, thank you so much for sharing that and it’s not at all silly, it’s human. None of us have a crystal ball so we must keep focused on what we do have, which is the present. I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom way too early. And her story is not yours.
I turned 66 last week and continue to love this aging business. As long as I think I look fine, that’s all I care about. I truly don’t pay attention to any ads that talk about making me look younger, have more vitality, etc. I’m doing what I can do to stay healthy, relevant, and beautiful in my own way.
Hi Susan, kudos to your mindset…which is everything!
I saw a video on YouTube about a woman teaching her daughter that makeup is not to make you “pretty”, it is to make you “fancy”. So now, whenever I hear about people making themselves pretty with makeup, I overwrite it in my head with making themselves fancy.
Casey, that’s great! Thank you for sharing that and I will think of that tomorrow when I get ready to be fancy!
When my granddaughter was four and was looking through my makeup bag, she said wearing makeup for me was not working! She didn’t realize the insult. And it always cracks me up to remember her wise words!
LOL! Vicky, you have to laugh, right?! What a great story. Thank you so much for sharing!!
Hello . . . I turned 68 last month – but that doesn’t rattle me as much as the thought that I am almost 70. THAT is a tough one to swallow, though I am grateful for every day I have above ground. I would take 65, again, all day long. I’m sure that if I make it to 80, I’ll wish I were 70, again. — It’s a slippery ride on that downhill slope.
Hi, Amy (That is my daughter’s name) Anyway, I moved to subsidized senior housing out of necessity and I also turned 70. I thought, Wow! Maybe I am getting old. Now, a year later, with all the changes I’ve had now, I’ve decided that your age is just a part of your story. You carry that number in your life stories just as a part of what you did and where you were, etc. That you have carried whatever amount of years adds to your experiences and your power.
Hi Amy,
I like to say that THESE are the good old days! Enjoy right now because one day, these will be the ‘good old days!
What a great column, Nancy, and thank you to Sixty + Me for bringing you to us! What being a senior woman to me means, is that I’m comfortable in my own skin. I’m confident I’ve made good choices till now, and that I’ve tried to be kind towards others on this journey of life. I’m just beginning to practice more kindness towards me – subtley – as in paying better attention to my diet, movement, socializing, rest. Thanks again, Nancy.
Hi Cathy, thank you so very much! That means more than you know.