They say you never know what it’s like to stand in another person’s shoes. This is such a profound and true statement when it comes to the relationship between married and single friends in their 50s, 60s and beyond.
As a dating coach for women over 50, I hear the pain in women’s voices when they talk about their married friends, and the lives they miss being part of. They longingly wish they could share what it’s like to be single and alone at this time in their life without coming across as needy or unhappy.
My hope is that this article opens everyone’s eyes to being more compassionate and aware of what it’s like when life changes, you’re on your own, and no longer part of a couple.
We know you mean well when you tell us what a great catch we are and that we’ll be married again before we know it. But when it doesn’t happen right away, we feel like we’re a failure in your eyes.
Instead, we’d love if you could encourage us to go out and date when we’re ready and that you’ll be there to listen when we need a loving ear.
Please try and give the men we’re dating a chance. We know it’s hard for you to adjust to us being with someone else, especially when we’ve shared a long history together.
Whether he is in our life for six months or we marry him, if you and your husband could make an effort to get to know this new man, we’d so appreciate it. When you tell us that you don’t need to make new friends, what we hear is, you don’t care about our friendship anymore, and that hurts.
Please don’t share you thought a man was bad for us after we’ve broken up with him. Sometimes, even if you didn’t like him, we did. Our hearts are hurting, and we could use support at this time.
If you haven’t heard from us in a while, instead of asking all our common friends if they’ve seen us, give us a call to make sure we’re ok. It would mean a lot to know we’re still on your radar.
Please consider inviting us back to the holiday parties we always enjoyed over the years. We miss connecting with our couple friends, both male and female. We were part of the group a long time and it hurts to be left out.
Please understand we’ve had to experience a lot of change on our own such as downsizing, loss of people in our lives, and suddenly being single after being part of a couple for so many years.
You have a partner to share your emotions with. We are doing it all alone. This is a time we could really use some support.
We can spend a lot of dinner times on both weekdays and weekends alone, especially if our kids live far away. Let’s do dinner together sometime and bring your husband too. We’re not interested in them in anyway but as a friend, and we miss the friendship all of us shared.
Many of us are strong successful women. We have a tendency to hide the pain we’re feeling and will act as if everything is alright.
Sometimes if we feel close and safe with you, we will dump everything that has been happening in our lives on you because we have no one else to share our thoughts with. We don’t mean to do that, but we are so grateful you let us express what is on our mind.
We so treasure our friendship and we’re here for you too when you need us.
How do you feel around your married friends? Does it feel awkward to be in the company of a friend who has become single after 50? Why do you think you feel that way? Do you think you can keep an open mind and heart and accept your single friend for who she is now? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
Tags Senior Dating Advice