Coping with Our 70-Plus Year-Old Bodies – Is It Even Possible?
When my son, now in his late 30s, was about five years old, he made a remark that has stayed with me ever since. He had gone through a stage, thankfully brief, when he would pee unexpectedly, leaving a small visible stain on his trousers.
I asked him, I suspect with some exasperation, couldn’t he tell when it was coming? “No, Mum,” he said, “it is kind of like an ambush.”
He hit the nail on the head. Our bodies do ambush us all the time – from childhood right on up. We don’t see it coming.
The Struggle with Our Bodies
It starts as early as any of us can remember – we ran too fast on a pavement, we climbed that tree and, all of a sudden, we found ourselves on the ground and in pain.
From small scrapes to broken limbs, we learned early on that our bodies could be a nuisance and did not behave as we had planned.
Not to mention the many childhood diseases. I got absolutely all of them – measles, German measles, even Scarlet Fever, which was very serious in those days. I have a number of chicken pox scars to remind me of that particular bout.
And, of course, numerous colds and flus that came and went, as I mixed with other children at school.
Our teens and beyond brought an even bigger ambush – the menstrual period. It arrived when we least wanted it and, for some of us, on no particular schedule. We waited for it to come and, at some point, worried when it did not. Or, we wanted children and worried when it did.
We have all spent some hours over the course of our lives thinking about what was or was not happening down there. With no control.
Older Bodies
Of course, as we grew older, we were subject to large numbers of potential illnesses. Many of us have been through one or another life-threatening disease and many of us have lost friends through this route.
I lost a good friend to one of the worse scourges of our time, HIV/AIDS and, with his help, wrote a book about people living with AIDS and HIV.
And things only get worse as we age. “Old age is not for sissies,” they say, and they are right. Our bodies ambush us in one way after another.
The older we become, the more prone we are to serious illnesses that stop us in our tracks. We cannot hear or see as well as we used to, we can no longer run as fast as we would like, if we can run at all. And even the problem my then five-year-old son experienced rears its annoying head.
Some of us, although presumably not those reading here, lose our minds, bit by bit, to one kind of dementia or another. This is an ambush like no other – not part of anyone’s life plan.
Attitudes
How do you feel about all these events taking place within your own body? Do you quietly accept that this is part of being human and we should struggle through with dignity? Do you feel it is part of God’s plan?
Or do you, like me, rail against them? I have been amazingly healthy all my adult life, as was my father. And, like him, I get enormously angry when my body lets me down. How dare it not do what I want it to? Who gave it permission to succumb to a cold or flu or worse?
Yes, I know this makes no sense. I should accept each challenge as it arises. It is part of life’s rich tapestry. You are doubtless made of stronger stuff.
My husband says I will be indignant on my death bed – and it may well be true. I will let you know.
Read more: Oh, My Goodness, I’m 83! The Pros and Cons of Aging.
The sections below are added by Sixty and Me.
How Do We Adapt – Practically and Mentally?
Adapting to an aging body isn’t about giving up; it’s about adjusting with purpose. Many of us swap high-impact workouts for gentler movement like tai chi or walking. We keep reading glasses in every bag and know which foods help us sleep or avoid aches. A grab bar in the shower or a walking stick isn’t a defeat, it’s smart living.
The mental shift, though, can be trickier. Slowing down or asking for help may feel frustrating at first, especially for those who’ve always been independent. But learning to listen to our bodies, to rest when we need to, and to speak up are also strengths.
Some of us lean on humor. Others find comfort in routines, quiet reflection, or sharing stories with friends. We may not move the way we used to, but we’re learning to care for ourselves in ways we never did before, and that’s its own kind of power.
Books About Aging with Honesty and Insight
The Gift of Years: Growing Older Gracefully by Joan Chittister
This beautifully written book explores the spiritual and emotional challenges of aging, while also celebrating the gifts that come with time – wisdom, freedom, and depth.
Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End by Atul Gawande
A compassionate look at how modern medicine often struggles with aging and end-of-life care. Gawande, a surgeon, combines research and personal stories to encourage a more humane approach to growing old.
Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age by Mary Pipher
Written by a psychologist, this book focuses on women in their 60s and beyond, sharing how to find joy, purpose, and peace while navigating the emotional and physical changes of later life.
This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism by Ashton Applewhite
A bold and empowering read that challenges cultural stereotypes about aging. Applewhite offers practical ideas and fresh perspectives on how to age without apology.
No Time to Spare: Thinking About What Matters by Ursula K. Le Guin
A collection of short essays from the beloved author, written in her 80s. Le Guin reflects on aging, memory, cats, and everything in between with dry wit and profound insight.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What was the worst health problem you experienced in your life? Do you accept these challenges as part of the human condition or do you rail against them? Please share your attitude in the comments below.
Tags Getting Older
Arthritis and osteoporosis! I’ve been active lifelong. It’s very strong in my family so I made a point to do everything I wanted in my 50s and 60s, especially physically.
Books like “The Granny Who Stands on Her Head” are incredibly depressing to me. I couldn’t do that when I was 20 years old – don’t really understand why I would think I could dream of doing it at 93. Everyone certainly ages differently – that comment doesn’t make it any easier. I feel bad crippling around with a cane and taking one step at a time – hardest thing of all, I guess is ACCEPTANCE.
Great topic! One item obviously missed is the broken healthcare system, really diseasecare. Follow the money. Big pharma funding our medical schools lead to dr’s who write prescriptions. Big Ag poisoning our crops and soil for high production. Livestock fed unnatural diets. Dr’s are not trained in using nutrition for health so they don’t know how to advise us. There are nutrients that can reduce inflammation, improve mental health, sleep, etc. There are safe ways to move an aging body that don’t require equipment. Nowadays we have to research outside the box, use our own common sense and judgement, and find joy in what pleases us!
It appears this article was recycled as the wonderful comments are a few years old. This article is the absolute best. Several things come to mind reading the comments below. First, our offspring are at a stage where they are literally running through their lives. They live on technology which is very stressful. They have little time for their children and less time for their parents these days. Second, in western culture we tend to suffer silently. The nonsense of looking tough, sucking it up is so outdated. What people need is to be cared about. We need a real sense of community which only exists in advertising. Third nearly all young people I know of are in therapy. Therapy can be great but it is also a sign of people suffering alone. They have no one with whom to share this so they pay a professional to listen. Fifth, our expectations in life are so out of sync. We expect the wrong things and miss what is really important. We are socialized to look outside ourselves when in reality, most of what we need is within. Grateful that there are lots of self-help books out there to teach this. More and more people attend Buddhist retreats which are helpful.
Decades ago I stopped tv service. Most of it is violent and doesn’t serve us well. I stay off the news, too – just watching/reading enough so that I know if there is an impending disaster. Volunteering is immensely helpful. Making small goals along the way is another.
Thank you,Margaret, for making this site possible. I do wish there was a chat room so we could connect easier.
You lost me when you said a 5 year old used the word, ‘ambush.’ Really? That’s quite a vocabulary for such a young age.
Arthritis! I am grateful that I didn’t get it as young as my mother did in her 20s. At age 40 it began. At first I had no clue what it was. It felt like I had the flu or some type of virus that lasted a few hours, usually at the end of the day as the body naturally tires. It grew worse after that. I knew I was on borrowed time so I made major changes in my life.
I got out of the fast track,moved to a rural mountain community and spent most of my time hiking and outdoors. So very glad I did that because at age 77 the arthritis is awful. I need 600 mg. of Ibuprofen at about 3 p.m. daily. At this stage I am going for quality of life not quantity! Yes, I am pretty accepting of physicality issues but being relatively new to a community, I have no social support.
Thank you for your kind comments. This was, indeed, written some time ago – indeed, before Covid. But my little boy really did use the word ‘ambush’. He must have heard it in the context of some TV programme and put it together with his pee problem. He always had a way with words – he is now a professor of English!
Wow, isn’t that great?! No surprise!