Emotional Decluttering in My 60s
As I look back on my life, I can see all the events and circumstances that brought me to where I am now. I am grateful for every situation and relationship that helped me to grow into the woman I am today.
What I have realized is that some of what I have been holding onto no longer serves me, and it is time to let it go. Just like that closet packed with clothes that I no longer wear; it is time to clear some of the emotional clutter.
Letting go can be difficult but when I look at the benefit it brings, it becomes easier.
It Doesn’t Happen All at Once
Just like sorting through that closet, I needed to take my time and try some things on. How does it feel? Does it work for who I am and what my life is about today? If so, I will happily keep it – if not, I have to release it.
I like the philosophy of Treasure or Toss in decluttering, and it helped to ease some of the emotional discomfort I felt about this process.
One thing I seemed to have accumulated a lot of over the years are unhealthy relationships. Those interactions that, no matter how hard I to try to fix them, never get better.
What I have discovered is that abuse comes in all shapes and sizes (physical, verbal, emotional, financial, spiritual). Running the gamut from unkind and disrespectful to controlling and manipulative, it all has the same outcome – pain.
Replace What You Don’t Need with What You Do Want
In the beginning, everything felt like a loss. Now, I look at what I have to gain in the process. Once I removed the anxiety and discomfort, I found peace and clarity.
Gently, I began sorting through my feelings. I evaluated each situation carefully and asked myself – does this bring me joy?
The answer isn’t always clear cut, and relationships are complicated. But if I am serious about improving my life then I need to prioritize what I give my time and energy to.
Aging Clarified What Is Most Important in My Life
After turning 60, I no longer felt like I had forever but, in many ways, it felt like my life was just beginning.
What I didn’t want to do was to waste one moment being unhappy. Life can be short or long, but it is all very precious, and we have to make the most of it.
For me, that means taking the time to appreciate all of the wonderful experiences I have had and letting the rest go.
Clearing what no longer fits feels like creating space for what is yet to come – more joy and satisfaction at this beautiful time in my life.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Did your outlook on life and relationships change after turning 60? What impact has aging had on your relationships? Share your stories and join the conversation.
Tags Downsizing Your Life
When 911 happened I made a promise to myself to make everyday as Happy as Possible! I had to cut a long time friend out of my life . I couldn’t take being treated like I’m an idiot. 54 yrs is our lifetime. She won’t except that she severely depressed and has been all these years. For my own sanity I had to take a break.
Changed later than 60. I now chose my battles. Not much is worth arguing about. I accept that I will probably die this decade. I frequently recall things in my past. Think about how they might have had different outcomes. In all I’m pretty pleased with my life.
At 61, 62 in a few months, this article really resonates with me. I also can be a people pleaser for whatever reason and have been subject to a variety of different abuses through the years by blood relatives, husbands, and even friends/acquaintances. But I’m noticing now that I see the red flags earlier and I exit faster or at least move the abuser to a further and safer distance. I’m getting better every day! I am also learning to accept that there are quality people out there… Just have to keep looking. Thank you for writing this.
I need to work on deleting the awful experiences with family members & so-called friends – mainly not wishing me well. I’m tired of giving my kindness, goodness loyalty to these fake relationships. Would be so nice to have a sister or a friend to enrich life however it’s shown to be unrealistic all these years, sad but true for the most part I turn to declutterring and improving now & remain open to possible good relationship
It was hard but my unhealthiest relationships were family members who did not treat me well! I bent over backwards be cause I love them but I kept being disrespected and treated badly! I finally realized and accepted they cannot treat me this way anymore! I don’t deserve this and I have never been unkind to them! I read about boundaries and toxic ppl and sometimes they are your blood relatives! Not anymore for me’
Julie, it’s so hard when this close to home but still hurts beyond belief. Same for me and this last lesson learned and that I’m still dealing with – good days and bad days – don’t know that I’ll ever recover from. 46 years caring for, supporting and enabling – I own this – my daughter and I can’t make excuses any longer. Some behaviours are just unforgivable.