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Get off the Hamster Wheel and Find Yourself

By Deborah Voll November 03, 2023 Lifestyle

Do you feel as though you’ve lost yourself in the day-to-day grind? As a life and career coach for women, I hear this quite a bit.

Does this sound familiar?

  • Once I get home from work, I can’t seem to find the motivation to do anything for myself!
  • I feel like all I do is work!
  • I would love to explore a hobby but can’t find the time or energy.
  • By the end of the evening, I’m too exhausted to do anything.
  • Now that I’ve retired, I feel guilty that I haven’t developed a passion or purpose to serve others!

Whether you are retired, working inside or outside of the home, it seems that the last thing we do is prioritize ourselves. That book never gets written, and the hobbies never explored. Oftentimes, we feel defined by our work, and we wake up to realize that we want a life beyond 5 pm and it’s now or never!

How can we change our lifestyle so that we can begin to enjoy our lives beyond our “work” responsibilities?

Let’s take a step back and look at one or all of the areas below so you can begin this process of slowly moving towards what you do want in your life!


Take some time to reflect on your interests, values, and strengths. What activities make you feel most alive and engaged? What are the things you would do even if you weren’t paid for them? These questions can provide valuable insights into your true passions.

Explore Your Interests

After a day of work, you may be exhausted, but that doesn’t mean you can’t allocate a small portion of your free time to explore your interests. Make a list of hobbies or activities you’ve always wanted to try and dedicate some time each week to experiment with them. Whether it’s painting, learning a new language, or taking up a sport, this exploration can lead you to your true passion.

Seek Inspiration

Discovering your passion often involves exposure to new ideas and experiences. Read books, watch documentaries, or attend lectures on various subjects that pique your curiosity. These sources of inspiration can spark a passion you never knew existed.

Connect with Like-Minded People

Surrounding yourself with people who share your interests can be a great source of motivation and support. Join clubs, forums, or groups related to your hobbies or potential passions. Engaging with like-minded individuals can open up new opportunities for growth and self-discovery.

Embrace Your Strengths

Assess your strengths and skills to identify areas where you excel. Sometimes, your passion and purpose align with your natural talents. By embracing what you’re good at, you can create a fulfilling career or hobby.

Volunteer and Give Back

One of the most rewarding ways to find your direction is through giving back to your community or a cause you’re passionate about. Volunteering can provide a sense of fulfillment and give you a purpose beyond your daily job. It can also shift your energy so you feel more optimistic and happier about yourself and your circumstances. Who doesn’t need more of that in their lives?

Don’t Rush It

Be patient with yourself and understand that it’s okay not to have everything figured out immediately. The process of self-discovery is an ongoing one, and you may need to explore different paths before finding your true calling. When working with clients, I often see that what they are seeking is right there in front of them, but they haven’t slowed down long enough to recognize it!

Evaluate Your Current Job

If you’re feeling unfulfilled in your current job, it might be worth assessing whether it aligns with your passion and purpose. Sometimes, a simple shift in your role, responsibilities, or workplace culture can make a significant difference. I’ve had one client go from being in a sales role to a mentorship position within the same company and then felt more in alignment with their values and purpose!

Set Goals

Work with a coach to set clear and achievable goals to work toward. Having a sense of direction and purpose can energize you after a long day at work and keep you motivated. By creating a goal, setting a deadline and having an accountability partner will help you to stay focused and motivated.

Take Care of Yourself

Balancing a full day of work with the pursuit of passion and purpose can be demanding. It’s essential to prioritize self-care, which includes getting enough rest, eating well, and managing stress. A healthy body and rested mind are more receptive to self-discovery. What is one thing you can be focusing on that would set you up for success? For many it’s getting to bed at a decent hour and putting away the phone.

In Bronnie Ware’s book: The Five Regrets of the Dying, she cites that the number one regret is “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” Wow!

This next chapter is yours to write! Perhaps there is a book in you or a hobby waiting to be explored? There may even be an organization that could benefit from your experience and expertise!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is it difficult for you to take care of yourself? Why? What would you like to do just for yourself? What small goal have you achieved that brought satisfaction?

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I have decluttered most everything in my home to enjoy what I have and use it…not just taking up space with others memories or possessions. I feel great about that. My bucket list is in progress as I’m determined to do something or go somewhere once a week that excites me! I do have a book to write! ✍🏻

The Author

Deborah Voll is a Professional Life & Career Coach who knows from her own experience that “it’s never too late to have the life you want.” Deborah helps you break through the barriers so you can reach your goals. Reach out for a clarity call or check out her Passion and Purpose Workbook.

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