How would you help a friend who is suffering from low self-esteem? Would you suggest that they take up a sport, try meditating or start writing down what they are good at?
There’s nothing wrong with these recommendations. In fact, every single one of them would help your friend to feel happier – but, only if they actually stuck with them.
Unfortunately, if they failed, they might be in an even worse position than when they started.
On some level, we all know what it takes to build self-esteem. We just can’t seem to get started – and, if we do get started, many of us drop our new activities before they become habits.
Fortunately, there’s an alternative approach. If you want to build your self-esteem, but, aren’t ready to make big changes in your life, focus on accomplishing small tasks.
Do you tend to put small tasks off until another day? If so, you could be missing a big opportunity to boost your self-esteem.
Take a look around your house. Are there unpaid bills lying on the table? Is your living room in need of a good clean? Is your car a few thousand miles past its recommended service?
Don’t worry about trying to do too much at once. Just pick one thing that you have been putting off and get it done right now.
Get in the habit of tackling one task every morning. The more small tasks you accomplish, the better you will feel about yourself.
After you tackle the small tasks that have been piling up in your life, you will be ready to take additional steps to build your self-esteem.
What’s the one thing that you think you could accomplish that would give you the biggest self-esteem boost? Would you like to be in better shape? Do you want to be more comfortable talking with other people? No matter what you want to accomplish, the goal is to break the problem into small steps.
For example, if you want to get in shape, don’t run out and join a gym. If you’re like most people, your entrance card will probably end up in a desk drawer, collecting dust.
Instead, focus on doing something ridiculously simple and increasing your commitment slowly.
For example, you might start by doing one push-up. Just one. The next day, do one push-up and one sit-up. The next day, do one push-up, one sit-up and one jumping jack. By the end of the year, you will be doing a full body workout that would make even Helen Mirren, with her 12-minute Royal Canadian Air Force exercise plan, jealous. Read more about the “1-minute technique” for getting more done, without the stress.
To be clear, if your steps don’t seem embarrassingly small, you’re moving too fast. The goal is to build your self-esteem one step at a time, not to jump into unachievable goals that accomplish the opposite.
Building self-esteem is a marathon, not a sprint. So, don’t sweat the big stuff. Sweat the small stuff. Every small step that you take will bring you one step closer to the happiness, positivity and self-esteem that you deserve.
What one small step are you going to take today to build your self-esteem? What advice would you give to a friend who wants to feel more confident and in control? Please join the conversation.
Here’s a short video that I recorded on the topic of building your self-esteem.