If you’re like most people, you think about having a dream wedding and a happy marriage with a person that you truly love and adore.
There’s nothing more beautiful than being committed to one person for the rest of your life and sharing your entire lifetime with them. However, having a good marriage is a lot more than just the act of getting married.
If you want to remain married – and most of all, happy in your marriage – then you will need to take active efforts towards this goal. A marriage takes two persons who are willing to frequently make a positive connection with one another.
The number one thing that every single couple needs to understand is positive communication. If you don’t communicate warmly with your wife or husband, it will be extremely hard to have your needs understood and met.
It is not just about communication! You may be communicating by your constant arguing, but not in positive ways that meet one another’s desires and needs.
This means you will take the time to understand how your partner communicates. Everyone communicates in different ways, so you will need to figure out your partner’s communication style.
For example, some people may communicate in a straight forward way while others choose a passive-aggressive style or even submissive style.
Once you understand how your partner communicates, you can then really comprehend what they are trying to say in the way they are saying it.
Of course, not all communication styles are effective, and if you or your partner is passive-aggressive or aggressive, you will both need to take steps to communicate in a more direct but gentle manner.
Remember, it’s impossible to read another person’s mind or have your own mind read. So, be sure to let your partner know what you really think and feel instead of wishing they would just understand you.
Once positive communication is in place, this may bring out some issues. How you deal with these in your marriage is critical.
After all, if your partner tells you they are unhappy with something you’re doing, the last thing you want to do is lash out at them or get into an argument.
It’s vital that you reduce reactive behavior and really think before you speak. The words you say in anger can cause a lot of damage that is very difficult or even impossible to repair.
It is likely that after a heated discussion, you may need to take some time to calm down and think, before resuming talk about the issue.
You will find it vital to learn how to think about things from your partner’s point of view so that you can empathize and understand how they feel. Once both partners can do this, solving issues will become more doable.
In any relationship, there will always be challenges and disagreements, but how you approach those and address them will determine the quality of your marriage.
Remember, a happy marriage requires you to communicate respectfully and positively and work through your differences instead of fighting or ignoring them. Learning to live and let live or learning ways to agree to disagree are part of moving into an enjoyable marriage for you both.
Keep in mind that you are two human beings who are not perfect and will need to sincerely apologize to one another many times. At the very least, you can apologize for your part in the dispute.
There are many times when you are too close to the issues to be able to work through them by yourselves, in spite of your best efforts.
A marriage friendly therapist, coach or counselor will likely be able to help you – with just a few meetings – develop strong communication skills if you are willing to make an effort!
Please check out my Free 1-Minute Marriage/Relationship Assessment right now. You will be so glad you took those few minutes to invest in your marriage!
What are some ways that have helped you to have a happy marriage? What were some of the things you learned in the process? What advice would you share with other couples? Please share your thoughts below.
Tags Marriage After 60