Close your eyes. I know it may seem a little silly when you’re just starting to read an article, but for a moment, imagine it’s a Tuesday, and you’re 85 years old.
Society often puts older women into stereotypical boxes: frail, dependent, out of touch, irrelevant, and declining.
But what if you were fiercely independent, engaged, still curious, evolving, and living life on your own terms? How would that be different? How would that make you feel?
To ensure your life isn’t one of recliners, pill organizers, and adult children making decisions for you, it’s important to start now. Your future does not arrive by accident. It arrives with habits. The woman you will be at 85 is quietly shaped by what you practice today.
Now I’m not pretending that you’ll be your “same self.” There will be aches and pains, serious setbacks, loss of loved ones, and some roadblocks in doing the things you used to love to do.
Yet women who thrive later in life aren’t the ones who avoid hardship. They’re the ones who learn to adapt and find lessons in adversity. They practice flexibility and don’t cling to others’ opinions or act the way they think they “should.” They learn to reflect, accept, and reframe, with dignity and even with humor. And they never stop being curious.
Begin practicing that now, and your Tuesdays may look very different.
Here are five actions you can start today to help aging be more expansive than debilitating. More lively than lonely. And more meaningful in years to come.
Stay curious. Curiosity keeps people vibrant, interesting, and moving forward.
Learn something new every day. When you stop learning, you shrink – and so does your brain.
Teach yourself technology rather than avoiding it. Used wisely, it can be a powerful tool for connection and growth, especially for seniors.
Step out of your comfort zone – take a leap: join a class, learn a new language, or try something you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid to try. The important thing is to keep “becoming.”
Loneliness at 85 rarely happens at 85. It accumulates over time when you quietly withdraw and isolate.
Maintain or build a few steady connections. Real friends and confidants. People you feel safe with who lift you up. Friends who will be there through the good and the bad times and with whom you truly enjoy spending time. Start those friendships now – or work to nourish them – and the rewards will extend far beyond companionship.
We now know that loneliness takes a real toll on both our mental and physical health, while strong social connections are consistently linked to longer, healthier lives.
Move according to your ability – not to look younger but to preserve independence.
Include balance exercises in your daily routine. Falls aren’t random. They’re predictable and often preventable.
Lifting light weights increases bone density, improves balance, and makes everyday tasks such as climbing stairs or carrying groceries easier. It also helps prevent age-related muscle loss.
Organizing finances in advance reduces stress and provides a clear picture of what you can afford after retirement, helping you maintain quality of life without fear.
Starting early, even in your 50s, allows investments to compound, which strengthens your nest egg.
Early financial planning allows you to budget for or purchase long-term care insurance, which can prevent debilitating out-of-pocket expenses later in life.
Paying off mortgages and reducing debt before retirement ensures you can live comfortably on a fixed income.
Faith, reflection, journaling, therapy, meditation, gratitude, and humor have all been shown to increase happiness in later years. They provide a framework for navigating the physical, emotional, and social changes that come with aging.
None of this is about chasing youth. It’s about continuing to become the woman you want to be – at every age.
Here’s my perfect 85-year-old self on a Tuesday.
I wake up when I want to – because I can.
I stumble out of bed – yes, my arthritic knees make me wobbly.
I eat a healthy breakfast because I’ve learned to love delicious, healthy food.
I take a leisurely walk along the river, come home, jump on the computer – well, maybe not jump – write, read, or do something that expands my mind.
An afternoon nap is possible …without guilt. Then I meet friends for early cocktails or dinner and laugh all night with my favorite people. Maybe a good TV lineup or a movie. Then a luxurious sleep, dreaming of my next vacation.
It’s Tuesday. You’re 85. Think again about what that means for you. Write it down. Look at it often. What do you want your day to look like? How do you want to feel? Who do you want to become? The future version of you is quietly forming. What choice will you make today?
Tags Getting Older
Love this article. I’m 1 month away from turning 70. Eight years ago I was bored and needed a personal project. I decided to change my diet and became a clean eating, plant based vegetarian. I bought an elliptical and a large TV. I started exercising slowly to build up endurance. I eventually got myself to 60 minutes nightly. Within 9 months I lost 30 lbs, developed enviable biceps, a strong core and lean, muscular legs. I am healthy and strong. I don’t plan to stop anytime soon. I read that it’s easier to stay in shape than to get in shape. So true!
Great article! Never looked at things this way but fast approaching 72 so I will start!
I’m so glad the article resonated with you. The good news is that it’s never too late to start imagining what we want the next chapters to look like.
well i am 70 and battling arthitis in my right knee, which keeps me from walking for any length of time , i loved your article hope i make it to 85 , i have tried something new today , i took on crossword puzzles
Thank you so much for sharing that. I love that you tried something new today — crossword puzzles are a wonderful way to keep the mind active. And you’re absolutely right that every step forward counts, even small ones. Wishing you many curious Tuesdays ahead.
I loved this article. For many decades now, I have a practice of connecting with my future self and asking her to guide me now. I like imagining what a badass version of myself may be like at 85. Thanks for a great article.
I love that idea — asking our future selves for guidance. I might borrow the phrase “badass 85-year-old.” Thank you for sharing that! And for the reocrd, I think a little sassiness should be a pre-requisite to being 85!
A beautiful article, Ashley, well worth the read and worth reflecting upon this advice. Thank you!
Thanks so much for your kind comment, Karen. I have to take my own advice about the exercise! I know how important it is, and somehow days go by and I seem to “run out of time.” Writing this article reminded me of its importance. Thanks again for commenting.
Thank so much for reading and respoinding, Karen. Even if we start slowing — it is a great way to ease into older age with some tools and ideas for keeping our spirits younger.