Is It Time to Move? 6 Questions to Help You Decide if It’s Time to Pull Up Your Roots

My neighbor across the street lost her husband about a year ago. The huge house she now inhabits is an awful lot of work, as is the yard. The other morning, after a seven-inch snowfall, our mutual neighbor was clearing her driveway, as he usually does, as I was digging out my own.

Her kids have helped with yard sales and company, but her place is Just. Too. Big. My neighbor to the north of five years ago, Marge, sold out and moved after her husband died. It happens.

I am facing much the same decision myself, albeit for different reasons. While I love my precious home of some 13 years – the longest I have ever lived in one place – I’m getting ready to sell. A smaller mountain town is in my immediate future.

When Memories Are Too Much

For 10 of those 13 years, I was involved with a man in a relationship which, putting it gently, caused me serious pain. This past year he moved in. That was a mistake. Good intentions aside, it simply didn’t work out.

Now this house, which radiates with a thousand memories, acts like an echo chamber in all the wrong ways. Just like both of my female neighbors, the house is no longer a sacred space. As much as I’ve put into the decorations, gardens, the hard work to make it my home, it doesn’t feed my soul any more.

But that’s not all.

When Is It Time to Move?

The loss of your primary relationship isn’t the only reason, although a big house and all its attendant responsibilities are certainly part of it. The other piece is when you have reached a point in your life when living somewhere new might be the kind of jump-start to reinvigorate your life.

Whether that’s setting up shop abroad in a much cheaper place to live or simply moving to a smaller city or town for a better quality of life, a move might be just what the doctor ordered.

Is It Worth It?

You might ask whether all the work a move entails is always worth it. That depends. On one hand, if we’ve been living in a place for decades, as I have in Denver since 1971, my web of connections, caregivers, and friends is both broad and deep.

I’ll be leaving the relative safety of knowing my way very well around town and all the pleasures that come with rich familiarity in my community.

On the other, that very familiarity has made me a bit stale. Combined with the massive influx of people to my state (more than five million since I moved here), Denver, and its lovely mountains, has irretrievably changed.

I can no longer safely ride a horse without being nearly run into by mountain bikers, cyclists, and others who are angry at me for using a trail that I’ve used for years. The mountains are overrun, to say nothing of the traffic.

It’s time. At least for me. It’s a quality of life issue.

I love smaller cities, the intimacy of those places. Others may prefer the sophistication of larger cities and the convenience of facilities and health care. I prefer acreage and trees around me but close enough to an airport to head out to the rest of the world.

Read On Living Well, Loving Deeply and Being Grateful for All of Life.

Wherever You Go, There You Are

Part of the decision is whether you and I are running from, or running to, someplace new. And, if we are considering this, what expectations are we carrying?

Wherever we go, there we are. A new location isn’t going to make me happier. That only comes with the hard work I’m willing to invest in making new friends, getting involved in my community, and being available. What I love about the idea of shifting to a new place is all the hard work involved.

I have harbored dreams of a mountain home for decades. Selling my home in Denver allows me to realize that dream. I have to forfeit a lot to have it, but given that I’m 66, I don’t have a lot of time left to me to fully realize that dream while I’m hale enough to enjoy it.

The sale of my house will afford me much-needed extra cash. I can buy a nice home and land outright. Those options are, in part, driving my decision. That, and I love the adventure of making myself vulnerable in new worlds.

When I’m too comfortable, as I am now, I stop growing. A big move pushes me to expand.

Read Now That I Have All the Time in the World… Why Don’t I Get Going?

The Questions to Ask Before You Decide

If you’re thinking about pulling up stakes and moving, let’s be clear it’s for the right reasons. Let’s ask:

• Do I think a new place will make me happier?
• Do I expect to leave my troubles or hurt behind me?
• Will moving to a new place offer me a different kind of life, one that I want?
• Will a shift provide me with options I don’t currently have?
• Am I willing to put the work into making this new place a real home?
• What are my expectations, and are they reasonable?

Moving is both a matter of the heart and the pocketbook.

Read Get More from Life After 60: Stop Saying “I Could Never Do That!” Start Saying “I COULD!”

For my part, the moment I knew it was time for me to leave was when I was speaking with my best friend’s husband. They’re thinking of moving too but are leaning towards staying. As I listened, I realized that if I stayed it would be for fear-based reasons.

That’s when I called the realtor. She’s coming tomorrow at 2 pm. I’ve already started packing.

I can’t wait.

FAQ: Is It Time to Move?

1. How do I know if it’s the right time to move?

Ask yourself these key questions:

• Does your current home feel too big or unmanageable?
• Are you staying out of fear or obligation rather than joy?
• Would a new location improve your quality of life, finances, or access to amenities?
• Are you ready to invest time and energy into building a new community?

2. How can I determine if I’m moving for the right reasons?

Reflect on whether you’re running away from challenges or running toward opportunities. Moving won’t necessarily solve emotional or personal issues, but it can provide a fresh start if paired with realistic expectations.

3. What are the financial considerations I should think about before moving?

Consider the following:

• The cost of selling your current home, including repairs or staging.
• Expenses related to buying or renting a new home.
• Differences in the cost of living between your current location and your new one.
• The long-term financial benefits or drawbacks, such as downsizing or accessing retirement savings.

4. What emotional challenges might I face when moving later in life?

Leaving a home filled with memories can bring up feelings of loss or sadness. It’s important to:

• Acknowledge your emotions and give yourself time to adjust.
• Focus on the opportunities that a move can bring, such as new relationships or experiences.
• Stay connected with friends and family, even if they are far away.

5. How do I choose the right new location?

Think about:

• Proximity to family and friends.
• Access to healthcare, transportation, and amenities.
• Weather and lifestyle preferences (e.g., urban vs. rural living).
• Cost of living and housing market conditions.
• Opportunities for hobbies, social connections, or cultural experiences.

6. What should I do to prepare for a move?

Here’s a step-by-step guide:

• Declutter: Start downsizing your belongings by donating, selling, or gifting items you no longer need.
• Research: Look into potential areas, housing options, and costs.
• Organize: Create a moving timeline and checklist to keep everything on track.
• Hire Professionals: Consider using a moving company and a real estate agent who specialize in working with older adults.
• Build Community: Begin exploring ways to get involved in your new neighborhood.

7. What are the benefits of moving later in life?

Moving can:

• Provide a chance to downsize and simplify your life.
• Improve access to healthcare and other amenities.
• Offer a fresh start, new surroundings, and opportunities for personal growth.
• Bring you closer to family or friends, or to a location better suited to your lifestyle.

8. What should I do to make my new place feel like home?

• Personalize your space with meaningful decorations or items from your old home.
• Explore your new community and introduce yourself to neighbors.
• Join local clubs, classes, or volunteer groups to make new friends.
• Set up routines to establish familiarity in your new environment.

9. How do I involve my family in the decision to move?

Discuss your plans openly with your loved ones, sharing your reasons and goals. Seek their input and consider how the move might impact your relationships, especially if you’re relocating farther away.

10. What if I regret moving?

It’s normal to experience doubts or homesickness after a big change. Give yourself time to adjust and focus on creating a fulfilling life in your new environment. If the move truly doesn’t work out, it’s never too late to reassess your options and make changes.

Read What Are You Planning for the Rest of Your Life? It’s Never Too Late to Start Doing What You Love.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What would make you consider moving late in life? Have you made the decision already? If you have moved, what worked and what didn’t? What advice do you have for those considering a big move later in life? Please share your experience with those of us who can make use of it.