Lost Loves, Forever in Our Hearts?
Did you ever have a love that got away; someone about whom you think, What might have happened if…? Someone who is perhaps still tucked away in a tiny corner of your heart.
Sometimes we fall in love for fleeting moments and move on. Other times, that person has the most incredible effect on our lives and things will never be the same. I would like to share my one-who-got-away, as he completely changed my life, and who I might have become.
My Life Was About to Be Transformed
It is hard to remember that, just a few decades ago, class was what it was. I was from a poor (but very happy) family. He was not.
When I was 18, I took a temporary job working on a switchboard at a company in London. His father was a company director, and he was manager of a department, at just 21. Every time I answered his calls, he would always say something lovely or make me laugh, and before long, I found myself falling head over heels.
When he asked me out on a date, I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t care about his status or his wealth, he was just the kindest, loveliest man I had ever spoken to… and he wanted to take me out! This young girl from a rather run down council estate, who barely knew which fork to use, was about to have her entire life transformed.
At weekends, he would pick me up on his motorbike and whisk me off to Knightsbridge, where we would go to Harrods and hang out in their fabulous boutique ‘Way In’. It was another world to me.
Afterwards, we might walk down to a beautiful little alley called Beauchamp Place, where he would buy handmade silk shirts (and often matching socks!). Then we would climb on the bike and speed across London to Hyde Park, and maybe have lunch in the little cafe overlooking The Serpentine or take a boat out on the lake.
A Big World Out There!
He took me to my first West End show, concerts, festivals, book fairs, flower shows, art galleries. We ate in fabulous restaurants (The Ivy!). Never once did he make me feel inadequate. If I didn’t know something, he always showed me what to do, in the most unassuming way.
He shared books with me that I would never have dreamt of reading – Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Hesse – we listened to classical music. He taught me the value of study, as I had left school with zero qualifications. I learned about the environment, politics, history, economics; a world so big I couldn’t even imagine.
In the evenings, we would lie end to end on the sofa, reading books and listening to The Eagles or Genesis. Every so often, I would look up and see him just gazing at me, and my heart would skip a beat. Life was pretty perfect.
Not Quite Good Enough?
His father, who I met daily at work, seemed to have no problem with us and was always lovely to me. His mother, however, was not so happy. His elder sister had become pregnant and, in her eyes, had brought shame on the family. So much so that they had sold their house and moved to a new area. I guess she didn’t want to risk a repeat of that shame with her son.
Anyway, I don’t want to blame anyone at all, but after two wonderful years we split up. I was heartbroken. All I had left was his incredibly beautiful love letters, written in perfect scribed handwriting, and my memories.
Although we were no longer together, our time had altered the whole course of my life. I had experienced so much, learned more than I could have imagined, and felt ready to change what I thought was my destiny.
A Whole New World
I started studying. First a Degree in Psychology, next a Diploma in Counselling and a Diploma in Mediation, followed by a qualification which would enable me to be a lecturer. Later, I studied so much more. It was a thrill to learn new things and, even now, I am still learning.
I worked hard and saved hard. Soon, I bought my first property, a little Victorian house in London, which I spent four years renovating to make it absolutely beautiful. I was the first person in my whole family to buy a house!
I started to travel, going to amazing places like Kenya, South Africa, America. I opened a practice in Sussex, and another in London. I bought and sold more properties, both in the UK and abroad.
After about 20 years, I started to write educational courses. Imagine me, a writer! I had left school without a single qualification. What would my old teachers say?
Counting My Blessings
Now in my 60s, I have spent the last two years travelling the world on my own, always looking forward to my next adventure, whatever that might be. I count my blessings every single day.
I am sure none of this would have happened if he and I had never met, and I am grateful every day that I took a little temporary job answering phones in an office. A real sliding-doors moment for me.
P.S. I met him once more, many years later. I was married and he was engaged, but there was still this wonderful connection between us. In the background, a song came on the radio, This Guy’s In Love With You, our favourite song. I hope that maybe I am in a little corner of his heart, too.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Did you have a love that ‘got away’? Do you still think of them and what your life may have been if you’d stayed together? Have you ever met up again?
Tags Nostalgia
Me too! He’s two years older and therefore graduated high school and went off to university. I waited and then I didn’t. After 40 some years later he gets my cell phone number and now we meet for coffee, nothing more. He’s married and I’m a widow. I’m enjoying just this, nothing more.
This brings to my mind a boyfriend of mine in college. I loved him so much. But one long holiday weekend I assumed he would be happy if I stayed at college rather than go home. My plan was not well received. It turned out that he had made plans with an old girlfriend. I was heartbroken, and went home. It seems he tried to make contact a time or two, but that was in the days when we did not have message machines. After graduation, with the help of a sorority sister, he called me. I learned at that time he had married, but things were not going well. When we did get together one weekend, he got a phone call and learned that his wife had tried to commit suicide. He hastily departed. Six months later he called again and asked if I could meet him. I refused to do so. It has left me wondering what might have been…I have been married for 50 year, but still occasionally think of him.
Hi Kathy, Thank you for sharing this.This made me really sad to read.I think as you have been married for 50 years you and your husband and done incredibly well, so congratulations. I think there is something quite endearing keeping an old love in a tiny corner of your heart. I know I do! Lily x
This article describes perfectly how I feel about my first love, whom I met at 16 when we both worked at the city swimming pool during the summers. He was only 18 but mature for his age, and he loved me dearly. Alas, I tossed it all away to date others. That was 58 years ago, but I still think of him with fondness, longing and sometimes regret.
Hi Caroline, Thank you for sharing this. I often think of George Michael’s lyrics ‘turn a different corner and we never would have met’! At least you did meet and there he is, still tucked in a little corner of your heart all this time later :) Enjoy the memories, Lily x
My first real boyfriend started dating a girl I’d been at school with after we split for good. Different era, it was the mid 70s, but girls used to ask why I was going out with him as he wore glasses!
He went on to marry the other girl and have 2 sons and grandchildren. Sadly I recently found out he died after a battle with leukemia about 3 years ago.
I moved away in my early 20s and met a wonderful man in London who’s been my husband for 37 years now. Sadly, the marriage caused a rift between ourselves and his family as his mother did not approve of me. We’ve weathered the storms and gone though thick and thin with each other, we decided after we got engaged we had to make our own way without his family if things were to work for us. When my mother in law died 5 years ago I felt a cloud had lifted for us.
I do think back from time to time to my teenage years and my first love, but I think this is natural as it was a learning curve about dealing with and managing emotions.
Hi Linda, Thank you for sharing your story. Life is full of twists and turns isn’t it?
I agree with you about glasses… I am so pleased they have not only become acceptable, but fashionable.
I am glad, despite your mother in law, you and your husband have worked so well as a team. It just goes to prove you were right for each other! Lily x