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Mature Dating Mystery: Why Are Women Still Attracted to Bad Boys?

By Sixty and Me April 04, 2019 Dating

Have you ever been completely captivated by a man you knew was bad for you? Most women have fallen for a bad boy at some point in their lives. It’s hard to resist a great looking guy who knows exactly how to make you feel amazing and while maturity may bring wisdom, a woman over 60 certainly isn’t immune to this man’s dangerous charms.

Love Coach Lisa Copeland shares her personal bad boy experience with Margaret Manning of Sixty and Me. She explains the appeal, and the dangers, of this destructive attraction. Lisa also gives us some clues to look for so you can keep your heart whole.

Breaking All the Rules

Romance has always been important, but in the past propriety often determined who you could love openly. Today we have more freedom in choosing our romantic partners than ever before. Age, gender, and economic status have less influence on the person you might end up with than would have been the case in previous times.

The older man/younger woman pairing has always been acceptable for reasons Margaret and Lisa have discussed in another video, but lately, older woman/younger man couples have become more popular. With such a wide range of potential mates, it’s easy for a mature woman to become overwhelmed when trying to decide what she wants in a partner.

Why Do We Want a Bad Boy

It makes sense for a rebellious teenager to be attracted to a bad boy. The shock value and excitement of dating a man everyone else seems to want draws her like a bee to a flower. She doesn’t yet have the life experience to know that her heart is likely to be broken.

She’s about to get that experience most painfully.

What causes a woman over 60 to follow the same path when she knows the likely result? “This attractive guy shows up”, says Lisa, “and he makes you feel like you’re the most important person in his word. Of course, it’s a lie”. But that wonderful feeling often short circuits a mature woman’s head and goes straight to her heart.

Can You Spot a Bad Boy

How do you tell if that amazing guy you just met is soul mate or heartbreak? According to Lisa, there’s a sure way to recognize a bad boy. Look at a man’s actions and compare them to his words.

Are they the same?

“Women love words,” says Lisa, “but men look at actions”. A bad boy will tell you that you are the center of his world, but will disappear for days and not respond to your calls or texts. His actions do not follow his words.

Is That Pedestal Too High

The real appeal of a bad boy is that he puts you on a pedestal for a short time. You feel desirable, beautiful, talented, and funny. But then he kicks that pedestal out from under you and you hit the ground with a painful thud.

At this point, a mature woman may become needy. You wonder what you did wrong to make this amazing man stop paying attention to you. You take the responsibility when it isn’t about you at all.

It’s all about the hunt for the bad boy. Once he has you, he heads out to find new quarry. Don’t worry though, he’ll likely be back to do it all again, ignoring that your heart breaks a little more each time.

Is the Thrill Worth the Pain

Dating a bad boy can be terribly exciting. He is charming, approachable, and interesting. You may even think you can change him.

You cannot. He is what he is.

Lisa suggests that women over 60 are much better off finding a genuine man who is there for her. You may not have the instant chemistry with the nice guy that a bad boy inspires, but chemistry doesn’t make a relationship. A lifetime of love and friendship is much better in the long run than a few weeks of excitement.

Why do you think mature women are attracted to bad boys? If you’ve dated a bad boy, why did you finally stop seeing him? In what ways are you better able to spot a bad boy now that you are more mature? Share your experiences!

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The Author

Sixty and Me is a community of over 500,000 women over 60 founded by Margaret Manning. Our editorial team publishes articles on lifestyle topics including fashion, dating, retirement and money.

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