As a life coach, I often guide women through various life transitions and challenges, from career shifts to personal losses. Recently, I experienced a situation that illuminated a particularly poignant form of loss: being ghosted. This experience, though not unique, can be especially jarring when you’re in your 60s and beyond. It highlights how important it is to address and process these emotional upheavals.
Ghosting, the act of abruptly cutting off communication without explanation, is a phenomenon often associated with younger generations. However, it’s an experience that can deeply impact individuals of all ages. Recently, I found myself on the receiving end of ghosting. A close friend, someone I had shared numerous conversations and meaningful moments with, suddenly vanished from my life without any word or warning. I reached out several times out of concern and seeking an explanation, but crickets!
The sudden silence was jarring. The friendship had been an essential part of my life, a source of companionship and support. When the ghosting happened, I was left dealing with a mix of emotions: confusion, sadness, and a sense of betrayal. It felt like an unceremonious end to something that had been valuable and cherished.
Being ghosted at any age can be a difficult experience, but for women in their 60s and beyond, it can carry additional layers of complexity. At this stage of life, many of us are already dealing with significant transitions, such as retirement, shifts in family dynamics, or the loss of loved ones. The abrupt end of a meaningful friendship can feel like an additional, unexpected blow.
The lack of closure can be especially painful. It leaves us with unanswered questions and a lingering sense of unresolved feelings. As a life coach, I frequently work with women facing various forms of loss – whether it’s the death of a loved one, the end of a career, or the dissolution of a long-standing relationship. However, loss without explanation can be particularly challenging. It often leads to a more profound sense of confusion and self-doubt.
One of the most important aspects of dealing with ghosting is finding a way to process and eventually find closure. Here are a few strategies that can be helpful:
Allow yourself to feel and express your emotions. It’s natural to experience a range of feelings, from hurt to anger. Recognize these emotions as valid and give yourself permission to grieve the loss.
Take time to reflect on the positive aspects of the relationship and what it meant to you. This can help in accepting the loss and finding a sense of peace.
Don’t hesitate to reach out to trusted friends, family, or a professional therapist. Sharing your experience and feelings can provide comfort and perspective.
Engage in activities that nourish and uplift you. Prioritize your well-being and engage in practices that bring you joy and relaxation.
While it’s essential to process the loss, it’s equally important to remain open to new relationships and experiences. Life is full of opportunities for new connections and growth.
My role is to support women in navigating these kinds of emotional challenges and transitions. The experience of being ghosted can serve as a valuable learning opportunity. It can highlight areas where we need to strengthen our self-worth and resilience. By working through these experiences, women can emerge stronger and more self-aware.
Ghosting, while painful, can also be an opportunity for growth. It can lead to a deeper understanding of oneself, and one’s needs in relationships. It can also serve as a reminder of the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in all connections.
Being ghosted in later life can be a particularly tough experience, amplifying feelings of loss and confusion. However, by acknowledging and processing these emotions, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, it is possible to find healing and growth. As a life coach, I am committed to helping women navigate these complex emotional landscapes, turning challenges into opportunities for personal development and resilience.
Dealing with the loss of my friendship has been a deeply reflective journey for me. Initially, the sudden silence left me with a whirlwind of emotions, from confusion to sorrow. However, I’ve been working through these feelings by allowing myself to fully acknowledge and process the pain.
Engaging in self-care and leaning on my support network of friends has been crucial. I’ve also found solace in reflecting on the positive aspects of our relationship, which has helped me find some semblance of closure. This experience, while painful, has reinforced my commitment to resilience and growth, and has deepened my empathy for others navigating similar losses. I have decided to let go of the past and realize that some friendships naturally have expiration dates, but the experience is never a loss.
Remember, every ending can pave the way for new beginnings. The key is to approach these experiences with compassion for yourself and an openness to the possibilities that lie ahead.
Also read, Embracing Life’s Lessons as I Grow Older.
Have you been on the receiving end of ghosting? Have you ghosted somebody? Did you ever learn what happened? Have you found the courage to reach out to the other person and explain why you cut them off?
Tags Estrangement
There are two sides and perspectives to every story. I had a co-worker who I thought was a friend; we worked and spent time away from work enjoying social events. I even helped her find work when she lost her job. Unfortunately, she was unreliable and self-involved. We would make plans, I would drive to her house to pick her up and she wouldn’t be there. I would have to call and when she would actually answer the phone I would find out she had decided to do something else with someone else even though she knew we had plans. She didn’t call or text to let me know she changed her mind. She couldn’t understand why it bothered me, because as a “friend” I should accept her behavior.
This happened more than once and I was finally done with that “friendship” so you can bet I ghosted her.
i no longer put up with “friends” who always want me to drive, only have time when they need something, cancel plans at the last minute, don’t show up at all, etc.
I hear that she still doesn’t understand why she gets ghosted by friends.
Did you give her an explanation?
I had a friend just disappear after 2 yr friendship. I had gone to events with her, visited her at home, taken her clothes when in hospital. She just moved to another state & never let me know.
I was ghosted by a friend that I coach through a devastating illness. I am a nurse ans she is as well. We spent numerous days together learning to eat again and walk independently. Then nothing! I was so worried about her. I was afraid she fell I’ll again. I finally texted her husband to make sure she was alive and kicking. He texted me that she is fine! So relieved. But still nothing. She has moved on. I pray she stays healthy!!
This happened a few times, but one particularly hit harder. I messaged her and I got a response with some lame excuses that made no sense.
Of course I haven’t heard from her again. These people are just cowards and aren’t worthy of my friendship.
I have found the ghosting is quite immature. I have been ghosted by two people and when I did not receive any responses, after a while I just said to myself, “well, if this is who she really is then I would not have wanted to remain friends anyway.” They actually did me a favor. There have been times when I had a friendship and after a while I decided that I did not resonate with the person and I let the person know my feelings. What is interesting is that the person I let know continued to contact me anyway and THAT was reason in itself, again! I did not feel heard.
Well put. Very immature !