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Reduce Anxiety in 3 Simple Steps

By Jane Kennard January 31, 2024 Mindset

Is anxiety controlling your life? Are you worried all the time? If so, you are in the right spot!

I Was an Anxious Person Too

Ten years ago, I was a nervous wreck because of a relational and legal difficulty in my family. I was a hot mess: I was filled with anxiety; I couldn’t sleep or eat; I was unable to calm my mind down or relax.

At bedtime, my mind was still in chaos and racing in every direction. Worst case scenarios developed very easily in my mind. All the “what if’s” surfaced regularly. I tried distracting myself by watching TV, playing a game, or going for a walk.

If I was washing dishes or watching TV stressful thoughts lurked in the back of my mind. Anxiety was a constant threat to any sense of well-being. Finally, my doctor put me on Xanax to help calm me down. I was miserable. I was so obsessed with negative, scary thoughts.

When the situation finally settled down and I was able to think more clearly, I decided that I was “not living like this anymore!” So I got help to learn how to manage anxiety and worry. It took months but gradually I learned how to become free from the tyranny of anxiety. You might say I became immune from excessive worry and fear. Of course, life still presents challenges, but I have tools and I know how to manage anxiety. This is why I’ve become a certified life coach with the goal of assisting women find freedom from anxiety. It is my passion and prayer.

Managing anxiety is possible for you too!

STEP 1: Name the Fears Causing Anxiety

Identify what is causing your anxiety. This could be challenging but once you know what is causing your anxiety you can make changes to help reduce your anxiety. Answering these questions can help you name foundational fears.

What worst case scenarios am I telling myself?

Can I identify what is really triggering my fearful thoughts?

What is my inner critic telling me?

This inner work is so worth the effort. You must be intentional and focus a spotlight, so to speak, on the fears at the root of your anxiety. Recently, I worked with a woman who was overwhelmed with anxiety, filled with worry and having a hard time calming down. She was very upset and angry about a situation with her daughters.

We worked together and took the time to identify her fears. Through our conversations and journaling, she recognized the fears triggering her anger and anxiety. She was able to get perspective, calm down, feel less overwhelmed and think rationally about her relationship with her daughters.

Step 2: Change Old Thoughts to New Thoughts

Intentionally shift from old thought patterns to new thought patterns. This means catching negative thoughts as they arise and replacing them with positive ones.

This is about a radical change in thinking patterns. As you experiment with this you will begin to experience less overwhelm and out-of-control thinking.

Not too long ago, I was contacted by a person experiencing anxiety about her upcoming retirement. Her mind was spinning in many directions. She was sad, anxious, and fearful. As we worked together, we focused on her thoughts and subsequent feelings. She learned how to pay more attention to her thoughts and feelings and most importantly, how negative and destructive they were.

As a result, with practice, she calmed down and used her newfound tools for shifting her thought patterns. It’s made a difference. While she continues to explore what retirement could mean for her, she is more at peace with the unknowns. She’s feeling lighter about the future.

Step 3: Create a Plan

Create a plan including new habits to turn around guilt producing and fear generating patterns of thinking. Use tools every day to reduce anxious thoughts and feelings.

Outline a routine for quieting yourself. You could verbalize or write affirmations each day.

Self-assurance and hope will develop when you stick with your blueprint for coping with anxious thoughts whenever they arise.

You will discover that managing anxiety is indeed possible.

Perhaps you can identify with another client who contacted me because of the anxiety she was experiencing about her physical well-being. She was quite concerned that she had a debilitating, crippling illness. Waiting for medical appointments was tough. She couldn’t really avoid the situation or change it.

We talked about shifting her thinking and behavior. She moved towards accepting the situation through changing negative thoughts to more positive ones. This helped reduce anxiety and a chaotic mind. Now she functions with a mental bag of strategies and tools she can use to manage anxiety. She’s written down a list as well. This is a continuing journey as she awaits more test results. All the while she is living out a plan to manage anxiety.

Reducing Anxiety Is Possible

You can learn how to manage anxious thoughts and feelings. You can use these 3 steps to handle anxiety. Understanding anxiety and intentionally moving forward with rewiring thoughts puts you on your way to worry free living.

If this sounds like you and you’re ready to make a change and become anxiety free, I hope you find someone to support you in managing anxiety. I’d love to offer you a free 30-minute consultation. We’ll talk about your situation and, if you want my help, explore how I can help you.


Let’s Have a Conversation:

What worries you the most in life? Does it cause you anxiety? Are there “what-if” scenarios that replay in your mind? How do you manage your anxious thoughts?

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I have struggled w anxiety my whole life but got help 30 years ago and it has changed everything for the better. However, my ex husband and I are expecting our first grandchild and I am already anxious regarding seeing his wife and possibly his family at the baby shower. I met the wife at my son’s wedding and felt uncomfortable. How can I prepare myself for the shower or better yet find out if she is even coming.

Jane Kennard

Anxiety in this situation certainly makes sense. No doubt your mind is going crazy with “what if’s” and worse case scenarios. Breath deeply through these thoughts and let them go as much as you can. Jane


Jessica, the story is all about you. Don’t focus on the ex and his wife unless you want them to be that important in your life. It can be uncomfortable as I was in the same situation. I was so happy to be free of the ex and focused on that.

Honor your role in your family.

Patricia Cimino

Jessica – get intentional about you. Decide ahead of time who you want to be when you arrive at the shower. Determine how you want to feel when you are being the person you want to be. State your internal desired outcome – how you want to feel after you leave the shower. Creating this intention ahead of time, will give your brain a focus. Our minds really do create our reality, being proactive vs reactive is key and this exercise will help. Good luck!

Jane Kennard

Sounds right on! Thanks, Patricia.

The Author

Jane Kennard PhD, CPC is a Canadian born anxiety coach whose desire is to help women become anxiety free. Her purpose is to support women struggling with anxiety, overwhelm and worry learn how to live anxiety free. Find out more about her “Blueprint for Anxiety Immunity” Program and sign up for a free consultation at

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