Why Do Many Women Have a Different Retirement Experience Than Men?
I’m an African-American male, and I’m also one of nine siblings, all of us retired. In a recent conversation with my three sisters, each of whom is retired successfully, I was reminded of a truth that, as a guy, they (robustly) re-emphasized to me – women experience retirement in some profoundly different ways than us guys.
First, a Few Data Points Hiding in Plain Sight
- Women live longer than men, with an average life expectancy of 79 years for women vs. 73 for men in the U.S. (Source: CDC, 2023)
- A woman who reaches age 65 today can expect to live, on average, another 20+ years – with a significant portion living into their 90s.
- More than half of women over 65 rely on Social Security for at least 50% of their retirement income; 25% rely on it for 90% or more. (Source: Social Security Administration, 2023)
- Only 12% of women feel “very confident” in their ability to retire comfortably. (Source: Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies, 2023)
- Nearly 50% of women over age 65 are widowed, compared to only 15% of men. (Source: U.S. Census Bureau, 2020)
- Divorced women face even greater financial vulnerability – especially those who divorced after 50.
Retirement is often seen as a time of freedom and renewal – but for many older women, it also brings a distinctive set of challenges. Whether you’re newly retired or several years in, it’s important to recognize some of the challenges that can stand in the way of fulfilling your next chapter.
The Challenges Women Face in Retirement
Here are the top five challenges many women face in retirement – and why acknowledging them is the first step toward thriving.
1. Financial Insecurity
Women typically live longer than men and, unfortunately, often earn less over the course of their careers. Many have taken time off to raise children or care for loved ones, which can result in smaller pensions, Social Security benefits, and retirement savings.
The Result? Anxiety about outliving savings, fear of unexpected expenses, and difficulty affording the lifestyle you envisioned.
What can help: Financial planning tailored to longevity, part-time work or consulting, and finding joy in a more simplified lifestyle.
2. Loss of Identity and Purpose
After decades of being defined by careers, caregiving roles, or community involvement, many women feel a sense of loss when those roles shift or end.
The question becomes: Who am I now?
What can help: Exploring new passions, volunteering, mentoring, or even starting a small business or creative project can reignite purpose and self-worth.
3. Loneliness and Social Isolation
Social networks often shrink in retirement – especially after leaving the workplace or experiencing the loss of a spouse or friends.
The silence can be deafening.
Beneficial action: Actively fostering new relationships through participation in clubs, educational courses, faith-based groups, or online communities can significantly enhance social connections. Staying socially engaged is also critical for brain health.
4. Health and Caregiving Pressures
Many women in retirement are “sandwiched” between caring for aging spouses, siblings, or even grandchildren – while also managing their own health needs.
Caregiving doesn’t stop at retirement – it often ramps up.
What can help: Setting boundaries, asking for help, and carving out time for self-care are essential strategies for staying physically and emotionally well.
5. Navigating Life Transitions Alone
Whether due to widowhood, divorce, or long-term singleness, many women face retirement alone. Making decisions about housing, healthcare, or long-term plans can feel overwhelming without a partner.
The emotional and logistical load can be heavy.
What can help: Building a strong support network, working with trusted professionals, and learning to advocate for yourself can bring both confidence and clarity.
Successful Retirement Is Achievable
Here are 5 practical and empowering tips for older women to have a great retirement:
1. Design a Life You’re Excited to Wake Up To
Retirement isn’t the end – it’s a new beginning. Be intentional. Create a vision for this stage of life that includes purpose, passion, and play. Whether it’s travel, volunteering, creative work, a second career, or learning something new, ask: What makes me feel most alive?
2. Prioritize Health Like It’s a Full-Time Job
Your energy, independence, and well-being are all tied to your physical and mental health. Stay active, eat well, get regular checkups, and keep your mind sharp. Add joy: dance classes, long walks with friends, or even gardening count.
3. Nurture Relationships – and Make New Ones
Strong social connections are one of the biggest predictors of a happy retirement. Reconnect with friends, deepen family ties, or find new communities through clubs, groups, meetups or classes. Loneliness is real – don’t wait for others to reach out.
4. Stay Financially Savvy and Flexible
Even if your finances are in good shape, revisit your budget and plans regularly. Plan for longevity. Make room for fun and emergencies. Consider part-time work or consulting if you want to supplement income or stay engaged – on your terms.
5. Let Go of Old Labels – and Own Your Power
This is your time to be unapologetically you. Forget outdated ideas about what older women should do. Explore, experiment, reinvent. Retirement – reinvention – can be a launchpad for the most confident, free, and self-defined chapter of your life.
Final Thoughts
Retirement can be a time of joy, growth, and renewed purpose – but it doesn’t happen automatically. Don’t ignore the potential challenges but take advantage of the opportunities. Take a step back, reflect, and ask yourself:
What do I want this next chapter to look like – and what do I need to make it happen?
You don’t need all the answers right away. Many of the initial answers may change over time. But you do need a plan – one that moves you in the right direction, honors your values, supports your well-being, and helps you feel in control of your time, money, and energy.
Start by paying attention. Then start shaping the life you deserve.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What challenges have you faced in retirement? Are they more related to financial issues or with social isolation? What is the biggest challenge to you?
Loved this! My husband and I are happily retired. He spent over 40 years in t he corporate world and doesn’t miss it a bit. He always dreaded having to give employees the news that he had to terminate their employment, which he estimated he had to do hundreds of times. The industry he worked in was one where women dominated the workforce and he had to handle various types of emotional reactions from the ladies. It was always difficult and uncomfortable when a woman broke down in tears but on the other end of the spectrum, he recalls getting his face slapped on four occasions by understandably furious women. This dates back to the sixties and seventies, when “the slap” was more in vogue. He noted the first time it happened, the impact of the slap dislodged his glasses and they nearly fell off his face, so on all subsequent occasions, he made it a point to remove his glasses just before giving the women the news. Lol!
Between you and me, I secretly admire those ladies’ chutzpah. If it was cathartic for them, then I’m willing to sacrifice my husband’s cheek but only if it was the exception rather the rule when it comes to emotional female reactions 😁
Hi thanks for the timely insight. My greatest issue is social isolation
Hi Dorothy! Isolation can be tough, and not unusual. Several people struggle in that moment. But, there are so many steps you can take to change that…if you want. Let’s talk.
My volunteer experiences as an exercise leader are a lot of hard work for no pay. It’s taken a huge commitment on my part; therefore, have missed out on many fun events due to my volunteer job! Currently, I am fostering a dog and hoping someone will adopt it soon as I need some free time. After this, I am putting myself first and no more volunteering!
Honestly, Faye, you would not believe how common overbooking is amongst people in their next chapter – both men and women. That will be a topic in an upcoming blog. In the meantime, if you want to chat about shedding some of that, and getting back some control, reach out to me.
Great article! Thank you. I have made notes and will start creating a plan for my solo retirement to enjoy.
That’s great news! If you’d like to chat about making your personal plan, please connect with me.
Don’t forget: women are STILL working during retirement: cooking, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, meal planning, buying-wrapping-sending gifts, arranging family gatherings, etc etc etc etc. It just never ends.
Women do all kinds of wonderful things in retirement. The focus is on intention.
Very true, I’ve often said that women don’t get to retire!
I should have said: we also SHOULD get to retire from chores we don’t find illuminating or joyous, and focus on purpose and enjoyment. And whatever is stopping us from getting to the things that are joyous, well, we should work on eliminating that problem. I wasn’t saying this is a good state of affairs, being drudges during retirement; some of these chores can be fun, after all. But we should be able to retire from the domestic labor of decades and decades. It’s long overdue. That’s all I meant: women should be able to retire from the work they’ve been doing at home as well as in the workplace.