When it comes to love after 60, many women feel like they are left with an uncomfortable choice – intimacy vs. independence. On the one hand, by the time we reach our 50s and 60s, many of us are comfortable living on or own. Perhaps we went through a divorce. Or, maybe, we simply choose never to marry. Either way, the idea of giving up part of our independence, even for love, can be terrifying.
On the other hand, whether we admit it or not, most women over 60 have a need for intimacy. This isn’t necessarily the same kind of physical intimacy that we craved when we were younger (although it can be!) Sometimes, what we want most is someone to come home to, travel with, share our dreams with and cuddle.
To get some insight into this important aspect of senior dating, I recently interviewed Lisa Copeland. Lisa is a good friend of Sixty and Me. She is also a fabulously talented dating coach. I hope you enjoy our conversation!
When I’ve talked about senior dating in the past, many women in the community say that older men are looking for someone to take care of them. Lisa points out that, in her experience, most older men actually have their own lives and would love to be with an independent woman.
The trick, she points out, is to be independent, while still allowing your man to feel important. As she puts it, “men want you to make them feel like heroes.” This may be a difficult concept for many women to accept, but, this is what she has seen over and over again by coaching women over 60.
Of course, if you disagree with this perspective, that’s fine. Before you respond angrily in the comments, though, I would ask you to flip the question around. Don’t you want someone who makes you feel needed? Don’t you want someone that looks at you as if you are their hero? Ok, maybe not all the time… but, some of the time?
I’d love to get your thoughts on this. Please take a few seconds to join the conversation in the comments section below.
Do you believe that there is a trade off between intimacy and independence after 60? Why or why not? What did you think of Lisa’s comment about men wanting you to make them feel like your hero? Please join the conversation.