Valentine’s Day is over, but if you’re a divorced woman over 50, you may still be struggling with ways to show love for yourself this month and beyond. 

But over my years as a divorce coach for women 50 and better (and as someone who went through a painful divorce myself), I’ve actually discovered some incredible things I can do for myself and others that guarantee February, March, and the spring are full of warmth, love, and fulfillment. 

Donate to a Charity That Empowers Women and Girls in Need

Whether it’s domestic or international, related to girls’ education in the developing world, equal access to reproductive health, providing sanitary products to women experiencing homelessness, or your local Girl Scout troop, there are many incredible organizations that would love (and need!) your time and investment.

Not sure where to begin? And nervous that the money you donate won’t go to those in need? No sweat. I love exploring Charity Navigator’s list for the ladies.

Even when you are going through a lot of pain after you were married for decades, paying it forward by helping other women does two things for you: 

#1 It reaffirms you’re not alone and there’s a community out there that needs you.

#2 It lets you know that even when you’re hurting and stuck, you have the ability to break free from patterns that keep you down. Because you deserve so much happiness… at 50, 60, or any age.

Write a Love Letter to 3 Incredible Women in Your Life

It can be a good friend, a teacher, your mother, aunt, sister, hair stylist, therapist, or the female doctor who found the suspicious lump early and saved your life. 

It doesn’t matter her status. And it doesn’t matter how long the letter is. It can be as simple as sending a text message to her. Or an email. Or finding a beautiful card at the grocery store. Or actually getting out some lovely stationery and composing an old-school (my favorite!) letter.

All that matters is you thank her for what she did for you. And she influenced you in a positive way. 

Romance Yourself in February and Beyond 

As women of a certain age, we are conditioned to take care of others and never put ourselves first, but that silliness stops today. In the spirit of love, I’d encourage you this weekend to actually romance yourself. 

That can look however you want it to. 

It can be soaking in a hot bubble bath with the door closed so nobody can bug you. 

It can be ordering some delicious take-out and watching your favorite show on Netflix (um, Bridgerton anyone?). 

It can be finally ordering that super-soft robe you’ve had your eye on but have felt guilty about buying.

Romancing yourself after divorce has infinite benefits. The most important one is that doing so repeatedly instills an internal sense of self-worth in you, teaching you that you don’t need an external source – not your family’s approval, not a man, nothing – to feel good.

For years, our society has been brainwashing us into believing that the only way we are valid is if we have a husband. But when we put ourselves first, and embrace the worth we have for just being, we take our power back. 

And taking your power back is the greatest act of love of all. 

Do you struggle with showing yourself love after divorce? What steps can you take to start pampering yourself and loving yourself in the way you deserve?