Gaining and losing weight has been a battle for me from my earliest memories.
I inherited my maternal grandparents’ genes, Polish through and through. Their stocky builds ensure a strong legacy of survival. My grandfather was a baker, not like we see now on Cake Wars and other “fluffy” baking shows.
He worked 12-hour days, starting at 2 a.m., and lifted 50-pound sacks of flour, sugar, and dry milk. Schlepped pounds and pounds of butter, nuts, and chocolate. Back-breaking work, mixing ingredients, pouring batter into molds, leaning over to roll out and decorate cookies.
My grandmother was always with an apron, cooking or sewing, bent over a large soup pot, a frying pan, or with a garment she was mending with a needle and thread. Suffice it to say, I was never a stick figure, I wasn’t built that way.
I learned to dance, literally, Zumba, Powerhouse, and Step. Anything for fat burning. The real dance was one step forward and one step back. One day I would eat what I wanted. The next, not eat what I wanted. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. Exercising faithfully to keep the muscles moving, the joints greased and the weight down.
This kind of worked for me – through high school and college, my sex and the City years, the child-raising, the doing my chores, and finally into retirement. There were thicker years and thinner years. I weathered my ups and downs like a reverse stock market roller-coaster ride, fretting through upturns, holding on for the sunny side, the thin years.
Well after the pandemic, I hit a wall. After a heartbreaking breakup I ate myself through my emotions. Now, in my case, it was better than downing double martinis, yet, there I was at 30 pounds to lose against my almost 5-foot frame, and the pounds were still mounting.
It’s never a good day to start a healthy eating plan (we abandoned the word diet years ago). Every day I said, “Today will be the day.” Then a bagel crossed my path, a pasta special for lunch, and some French fries made their way next to my grilled fish, and it was only a hop, skip and a jump to pie with whipped cream for dessert. And even my “big” clothes weren’t so big anymore.
Yesterday was Day 1, which included three healthy right-sized meals, 64 ounces of water, and no refined sugar or carbohydrates. And the truth is, I feel skinnier today. Actually, I am skinnier today. How do I know that? How do I know that one day can make a difference? Well, I’ll tell you.
Taking power back is not like a scene from a movie between two Greek gods or witches with thunderbolts, flying and lightning zapping each other. Taking my power back means I understood I had a choice.
It was my choice to eat the bagel and then complain when my pants weren’t pulling up easily. It was my choice to continue to go to the pantry for the bag of cookies, the salty snacks, or the refrigerator to eat the leftovers and an extra dessert right after a meal.
It was my choice to sit through the discomfort of wanting to eat, to kill the boredom, to just stuff my feelings down. Taking my power back means that, in the moment, I chose to serve my long-term goal, lose a few pounds, and be able to swiftly pull my pants on.
I am skinnier today, without the weight of worrying about not doing anything about the weight. I am making better choices today.
Unfortunately, at this age, we all know the muscles don’t work as strongly as they once did. But yesterday was extraordinary. Drinking the full eight ounces, eight glasses of water, I was racing to the bathroom every 20 minutes, literally not to pee in my pants. The water was cleansing me, going through me, and I woke up less bloated, less inflated, just less.
I am skinnier today because drinking all that water helps me to burn more calories. The water started shrinking me.
There was more time in my day because I had more energy. Studies show that drinking more water regulates your metabolism, converting the less food eaten into more energy. Besides I didn’t waste my usual tons of emotional energy worrying whether my pants would fit, what I should eat, what else I could eat, and will I run out of whipped cream.
I am skinnier today because I focused on content, on slowing down, not on the food.
Yesterday, I put on my most comfortable pants. Loudly printed stretchy bell bottoms with hot pink, orange, and rust swirls, and flowers against a black background. They felt good. And because I felt good, I looked good.
I am skinnier today because I lifted the weight of having to have the perfect look and outfit. I wore what felt good and that made me stand up straighter and smile louder.
It’s a funny thing, I look exactly like my grandma. And I loved her; thin or fat I only saw Grandma. I look at myself that way. It does help that at this age I look exactly like her – my curvy shape, the small gap between my front teeth, the color of her hair, and the big smile she wielded, that I catch in reflective surfaces as I walk by. I loved her, no matter her size, her choice of apron, or her hairstyle.
I am skinnier today because I love myself no matter my size.
Like most of life, today’s dance is staying on the path. Making the choices that propel me toward peace, serenity, and comfort. For today that means three healthy meals and 64 ounces of water to nourish my body. And running to pee is just a little bit more exercise.
The Sixty & Me team loved reading Ilene’s heartfelt and inspiring article. To build on her ideas, we’ve included some practical tips that readers can easily incorporate into their daily lives.
Mindful eating is more than just a buzzword – it’s a powerful practice that can change how you approach meals and snacks. At its core, mindful eating is about being fully present during your meals, paying attention to what you’re eating, and understanding the signals your body is sending. It’s a shift away from eating on autopilot or letting emotions dictate your food choices.
Here are some ways mindfulness can transform your eating habits:
Take the time to truly experience the flavors, textures, and aromas of your food. When you eat slowly and focus on each bite, you’re more likely to feel satisfied with smaller portions. Try setting down your fork between bites or taking a sip of water as a natural pause to let your body catch up with your hunger cues.
Ask yourself, “Am I eating because I’m hungry, or because I’m bored, stressed, or sad?” Emotional eating often fills a psychological gap rather than addressing a physical need. By identifying the difference, you can pause and choose an activity that better serves your emotions, like a short walk, a deep-breathing exercise, or calling a friend.
Distractions like TV, scrolling through your phone, or multitasking can lead to overeating without even realizing it. Instead, dedicate meal times to focusing solely on your food. Sit at a table, turn off electronics, and let your meal become a moment of calm and self-care.
Take a moment before eating to express gratitude—for the nourishment your food provides, the effort that went into preparing it, or the pleasure it brings. This small act can help shift your mindset from restriction to appreciation, making you feel more connected to your body’s needs.
Incorporating mindfulness into meals takes practice, but even small steps, like savoring the first few bites or pausing mid-meal to assess your hunger, can make a difference. Start with one meal a day and gradually build the habit—you’ll find yourself more in tune with your body and feeling more in control of your eating choices.
Let mindful eating be a way to nurture yourself, both physically and emotionally.
Building self-love and body acceptance is a lifelong journey, but even small, intentional practices can lead to profound changes in how you view yourself. The goal is to shift focus from outward appearances to appreciating who you are as a whole person – your strengths, qualities, and experiences.
Positive self-talk can transform your mindset over time. Begin each day by looking in the mirror and saying something kind to yourself. Affirmations like, “I am worthy of love and respect,” “My body carries me through life with strength,” or “I am more than my appearance” can reinforce a more compassionate self-image. If speaking aloud feels uncomfortable at first, write affirmations on sticky notes and place them where you’ll see them often.
Shift your focus from what your body looks like to what it can do. Think about how it carries you through the day, how it allows you to hug loved ones, laugh, or explore the world. At the end of the day, take a moment to write down three things you’re grateful for about your body. Over time, this practice helps build a deeper appreciation for the amazing things your body accomplishes every day.
Journaling is a powerful tool for self-reflection and healing. Dedicate a few minutes each day to write about positive traits unrelated to your weight, such as your creativity, resilience, sense of humor, or kindness. Reflect on your accomplishments, moments of joy, or acts of self-compassion. Seeing your thoughts on paper can reinforce a sense of pride and self-worth.
Spend time doing things that make you feel happy and confident, whether it’s dancing, gardening, painting, or taking a long walk in nature. Engaging in activities you love shifts the focus from how you look to how you feel. Physical movement, in particular, can help release feel-good endorphins and strengthen the mind-body connection.
Evaluate the media you consume and the people you interact with. Follow social media accounts that promote body positivity and self-love rather than unrealistic beauty standards. Surround yourself with friends and family who uplift and support you. A positive environment makes it easier to embrace your authentic self.
Think of your daily routines as opportunities for self-love. Treat your body as you would a dear friend – nourish it with wholesome foods, dress in clothes that make you feel good, and take time to rest when you need it. Small gestures, like a bubble bath, a favorite book, or a comforting cup of tea, remind you that you are deserving of care and kindness.
Comparison is one of the quickest ways to undermine self-love. Remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and beauty exists in diversity. When you catch yourself comparing, pause and redirect your thoughts to something you appreciate about yourself. This practice can help break the cycle of negativity and foster greater self-acceptance.
Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Did you stick to a healthy habit today? Handle a stressful situation with grace? These victories deserve recognition. Celebrating your achievements builds confidence and reinforces the idea that you are capable and valuable.
By incorporating these self-love practices into your routine, you can create a healthier, more positive relationship with your body and yourself. Remember, self-love is not about perfection, it’s about progress and finding joy in who you are right now.
What’s your weight loss journey? Do you love yourself just as you are? What efforts do you make toward healthier you?
the hardest thing in my long life to quit is sugar – I KNOW – i know cancer feeds on sugar – I KNOW – Alzheimers loves sugar – I KNOW – sugar is an addiction and yet here i go again – seeking that comfort. I have never been a lover of pain which found me turning to alcohol – that nightmare lasted until I was 39 years of age. And quitting was so hard because of the sugar in the alcohol I consumed. Your offering has got me at least wanting to stop agaion – maybe this time
OHHH do I understand the sugar cycle – I too was consuming a lot of it in my martinis! Now I still crave popcorn jellybeans although a few can do the trick, its progress not perfection. Just because it is not working doesn’t mean it is not working so keep trying or it definitely won’t change. ilene
Your article was beautifully written. I too have genetics and I love the woman my Grandma was. A healthy acceptance while being the strongest and fittest we can become. Thank you.
I’m inspired by your insight and approach — it resonates with me as something I can embrace.
Thanks for saying that, it means a lot to know you can hear my words!