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The 4 Magic Words Men Over 60 Need to Hear

By Lisa Copeland October 16, 2022 Dating

If you were brought up in the 60s and 70s, chances are you were trained to be a strong, independent woman. It’s likely you were taught that you didn’t need a man in your life. You thought that anything a man could do, you could probably do even better.

You proudly took on this masculine energy doing everything you needed to do to get ahead in your career. Yet when it came to love and men, chances are you found yourself struggling.

Men might have told you that you were controlling or demanding. It might have seemed that all men wanted were younger women who fluttered their eyelashes and got their needs met quickly and easily. Something men might not have done for you. This left you at home angry and alone on yet another Saturday night.

Does this sound familiar at all?

What Do Men Over 60 Really Want?

It’s time to set the record straight. Here’s the deal. Most men do want to be in a relationship with women closer to their age. This is because they share a common history with each other. Most men do try out younger women because they feel appreciated by them, something they don’t always feel from women their own age.

You see, men want to be your hero. It’s literally in their DNA coding to keep you safe, protected and provided for. They want to make you happy and will do anything within their power to make that happen for you.

READ ALSO: 7 Best Perfumes For Older Women

What Is the Best Way to Talk to a Man?

The problem is when you need something from a man; chances are you’re using words and phrases he can’t hear. As women, our DNA coding is one of community. So when you ask a man to help you with something, you probably use words like, “Honey, can you help me move this table?”

If a woman heard this phrase, she’d say, “Of course!” This is because she thinks it’s important to lend a helping hand. She will do anything that helps the community be a better place. A man hears this phrase and thinks you are telling him what to do just like his mom did when he was young.

Not sure how to find the man? Read our article ‘The Top 5 Best Dating Sites for Seniors’.

Why It’s Important to Make a Man Your Hero

Making a man your hero is the secret to getting his cooperation easily. These two phrases will bring out the hero response in a man. They work very well when you need him to do something for you.

Phrase #1 is “I need your help…” then ask for what you need.

Phrase #2 is “Could you do me a favor…” then ask for what you need.

When I’ve used these phrases, I’ve had men tell me they love helping a woman who needs their help. Try this. It will make a huge difference with the men in your life.

READ ALSO: What Do Older Men Want When It Comes To Senior Dating? You Might Be Surprised!

Show Appreciation and Get Cooperation

Here’s one last thing you need to know. Men feel underappreciated so thanking them and telling them how much you appreciate what they did for you goes a long way in getting the cooperation of all the men in your life.

Are you back in the dating game and finding it difficult to navigate as a woman over 60? Even prepared with the best advice about men and how to communicate with them, it may seem like a challenging thing to do. Finding love after 60 is possible! Read our article packed with advice from the Sixty & Me community members about dating and finding love later in life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you used either of the suggested phrases when trying to get the attention of an older man? Are there any other tips you can share that might be valuable to a woman who is having problems communicating with a man?

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seriously, the woman STILL has to figure out a way for a man not to be upset about a commonly needed task……….perhaps men need to learn how to get women equally. thats an old myth, thank god young men are understanding this!

Lisa Copeland

Hi Beth…take a look at the comment below this one from the male perspective. Men are wired to make you happy. It’s how we say it to them that makes the difference when it comes to getting their cooperation. When you say could you please do this? Even though you said “please: they hear their mom and don’t respond to it. Whereas when you say, I need your help, they hear this as how can I fix something and make her life better. Try it. My clients who resisted found they got their needs met and their life was made easier and a lot more fun!

Joe Wright

sorry. As a 60 year old successful man, married for 40 years, young men don’t have a clue about chivalry

Jeff Puckett

I read your article. And as a man I agree with you so much. It literally makes me feel great when my wife would say those things that way. I can’t explain it, but I know it’s true.

Lisa Copeland

Thank you Jeff for sharing your male perspective. It helps women see understanding the language men speak and hear makes a huge difference in getting their needs met. Men really do want to make women happy.


Understood that we as women can and should understand the language of men, but I’m finding it really hard to understand why women are mainly trying to “understand and speak” man talk, while in not seeing men understand and speak woman talk. This is what is wrong with the world – we are conforming to men’s ways while ignoring the fact that they are NOT putting this effort into trying to understand us. It MUST be a two way street, and I, for one, am tired of listening to women preach to other women about how we need to “try to talk to men in their language. ” where are the role models teaching men how to navigate relationship!? It is clear that men do not have a lot of understanding or skill in relationship or communicating emotionally- critical skills needed for marriage, yet we are teaching these skills only to women, skills that we have been discussing since we were 4 years old playing “house” and with barbie dolls. Why are we not educating men!

Lisa Copeland

Hi Rita…I hear your frustration. Yes, it would be great if men would get us too. The way I look at it is as women we have 2 choices.
#1…we can do it all ourselves
#2…or we can figure out a way to get the cooperation of men to step up and help take some of the burden off our shoulders.

When I look at it this way, I see learning the language they speak as a positive. I’m getting my needs met.

Let me know what you think.


I’m not 60 yet. I’m 50, but I feel as tho I’m an old soul. After 13 yrs of being with a habitual cheating narcissistic jerk, he finally walked out on our 10yr old son & I because I wasn’t giving him enough attention. As a sex crazed man who often slept around, I was afraid for my life, for diseases he could’ve brought home. I’m a stage 3 breast cancer survivor. He couldn’t be faithful & I could no longer be intimate with him. His biggest need was to be worshipped, even lying about being in the military, having a father who held a royal title in the UK, his children, previous marriages, etc. once I discovered his lies & the truths came out…he was no longer on the pedestal that he originally stood on ….he no longer wanted to be married. When I started dating again, I avoided narcissistic types and just needed honesty. I looked for men who were humble and kind…letting that person know just how much their genuine interactions meant & how nice it was to just be open without needing anything but honesty….really made a huge difference. Most men just need a woman that they feel comfortable around and appreciate attention.

The Author

Lisa Copeland is a leading internationally recognized Love Coach and Dating Expert for women over 50 inspiring and teaching them how to feel confident, empowered and joyful dating. You can get a free copy of her eBook “The 5 Little Known Secrets to Finding a Quality Man” at

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