As a divorce coach for fabulous women 50 and better, one of the most common refrain I hear from clients has to do with their ex – especially during the holiday season.
The reason we struggle with trust after a divorce is because we feel like we’ve been betrayed. It’s a crappy weight to have on your shoulders. Similar to its other invasive cousins – anger, guilt, and resentment – losing trust after your long-term marriage keeps you from getting your life back.
As the summer gradually winds down and the days start getting cooler, I’ve been thinking a lot about a growing trend in divorce.
No matter where you are in the divorce process, anxiety is unavoidable.
You know the feeling all too well. Stress and fear of the unknown. The loss of control of the life we thought we knew.
As you recover from your divorce and move on, there is one all-too-common emotion that causes way more headaches than you need.
Anger. Being ticked off. The persistent rage that will not leave you but could jeopardize your future relationships.
Does this ever happen to you?
There you are, going along with your day, minding your own business and it hits you. The whiny, super-annoying feeling that tells you that no matter what you did during your marriage, it just wasn’t good enough and you should have done better.
Getting your life back after divorce can be hard, especially when you’re over 60. There are financial issues, retirement and logistics issues that leave us feeling exhausted, wondering if we’ll ever move on and feel happy.
The New Year brings a lot of promise for women going through or recovering from divorce. Yet for some of us, there are still a lot of challenges and mixed feelings.
What are you thinking about this holiday season?
For many of us, the holidays can feel dark, lonely and stressful – especially if we are over 50 and going through divorce. Instead of looking forward to the beautiful decorations, smell of baking pies and holiday songs on the radio, we may feel triggered by sadness.
The end of a marriage, or any other relationship, when we are in our 50s forces us to deal with a whole slew of issues we were not expecting at this time in our lives. These include learning how to be single, possibly living on a reduced income and learning how to redefine ourselves.