If you divorced in your 50s or 60s, you’re familiar with that feeling. Some of us know it all too well, both during divorce and afterwards.
Let’s talk about one of the most common obstacles that stop us from moving on after divorce, especially after a long-term marriage.
Rejection at this ripe time in our lives can really stink. There’s no way around it. As we learn to move on after divorce, even the strongest of us can’t help but feel like we did something wrong when the person we loved and cared about, and spent our lives with as a partner, suddenly doesn’t want to be with us anymore.
When you are recovering from divorce after a long-term marriage, loneliness is definitely an obstacle that keeps you from moving on. We get stuck in this mindset because it makes us feel like we have nobody in the world.
After divorce, are you making this happiness mistake? Let me explain.
A while ago, I was laid off from a 9-5 job and I started to panic. As I started to assemble a resume and apply for new jobs, a voice in the back of my head kept chiming in: “I will be happy again once I am in a new job. Once I get that first pay check, I know I’ll smile and feel better about everything.”
Divorce after 50 can make you feel like everything you’ve known has been taken from you. The life you planned and your vision of the future may disappear, leaving you with a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to go from here.
But when you feel like this, don’t panic! There is merely one thing you must remember:
The holidays are coming. The falling snow, ringing of sleigh bells, and smells of turkey and pumpkin pie can conjure memories of family and togetherness.
When recovering from divorce after 50, every day can feel like a struggle.
Learning how to reinvent ourselves, establish our independence again, and figure out what we want during this next chapter of our lives is a bit overwhelming. Oftentimes, we may forget to see all the wonderful things that await us.
Marriages, especially ones that have lasted for decades, take work. Every day will not be a honeymoon. Arguments, compromises, and sacrifices will no doubt be daily currency. While the give and take in a relationship is normal, there are instances when staying married is not a sustainable option.