One of the biggest misconceptions about women over 60 is that we are “invisible” and sexless. The truth is that sex after 60 is an important topic, even for those of us who live by ourselves.
Even though we’re past our childbearing years (and many women are grateful for that, as a matter of fact), women our age still want to feel the energy and passion of having an active sex life. One of the biggest and most harmful myths of our youth-obsessed media culture is that sex is “only” for the young and telegenic – and if you don’t look like a 20-year-old swimsuit model, the world of sensual delights has no place for you.
This situation can be especially difficult for women over 60 who are not in a relationship. But even if you don’t have a partner, there are many ways for women to embrace their sexuality and enjoy some sexual thrills and intimacy, at any age.
Here are a few ideas to rekindle your sexual spark, even if you’re alone:
Ballroom dancing is very sexy. Have you ever taken ballroom dance lessons? Perhaps now is an ideal time to start. You’ll get to meet new people, learn a new skill, get some exercise and experience the feeling of touching and interacting with another person, looking into each other’s eyes, smiling, watching each other’s breathing and motions and anticipating each other’s next step.
Dancing is one of the best ways to quicken your heartbeat and remind yourself of your innate potential as a person who is worthy of social graces, charm and desire.
Touch is a powerful way to connect with another person. The experience of getting a massage doesn’t have to be explicitly “sexual” for it to still be sexy. Anticipate the feeling of the massage therapist’s touch, revel in the feeling of oil on your skin, and let a pair of skilled hands take away your stress, tension and soreness.
You’ll feel much better after an hour on the massage table, and without the possible emotional entanglements, risks or disappointments of a date!
One of the best ways to reconnect with your sexuality, even when alone, is to spend some quality time being naked. Spend some time lounging in a sunny part of your house, or take a long bath, or lie naked on your bed.
Remind yourself of what you love about your body – what about your body makes you feel confident and sexy and desired? For inspiration, check out this ad campaign from Dove from 2007, called the “Pro-Age Campaign,” featuring nude amateur “older” female models.
Despite the myth that we are all sexless, aging matriarchs, most women over 60 still love to have regular orgasms. And thanks to the wonders of technology, you don’t need a partner in your life to keep that warm glow of pleasure alive. Online sex shop Good Vibrations offers a variety of sex toys and vibrators designed for “sex at an older age,” including Kegel exercisers and lubricants.
There’s no shame in exploring and enjoying sex after 60. All human beings are wired to seek pleasure and connectedness, so why not reconnect with your own desires and direct your own pleasure?
If you are feeling lonely without a partner, one of the best ways to release pent-up sexual frustration and energy is to get a good physical workout. If you haven’t already, make sure that exercise is a regular part of your routine. It helps you feel better physically, emotionally and spiritually – and can also help reconnect you to your body’s potential for strength, pleasure and exertion.
While we’re on the topic of exercise, gentle yoga is one of the best ways to enhance your sexuality and reconnect with your body at any age. Find out more about why yoga is so powerful for enhancing your sex life.
Do you love to write? Explore your sexuality and remember your favorite sexy times by writing about sex, whether it’s with a private sex journal on a paper notebook by your nightstand, or with an online sex blog (you can do this anonymously if you prefer). Write erotic stories, record some of your favorite sexual experiences, or just explore some of the latest fantasies and sexy thoughts that have been on your mind.
So you agree that sex after 60 is an important topic? What have you noticed about your sexual needs changing (or not?) as you’ve gotten older? How do you think women our age should “stay sexy” and stay connected to our sexuality? Please join the conversation.
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