Why Are Women Over 60 More Comfortable Giving Gifts than Receiving them?
Gift giving is a true art – one that most women over 60 have perfected over the years. We have bought gifts for our children, husbands, friends, teachers, nurses, mailmen, and even the neighbor’s dog.
We like to thank people, because we know what it means to be appreciated. We understand that the value of a gift is not measured by what it costs, but in the planning and thoughtfulness that went into the purchase. You know that old phrase.
Unfortunately, we are not always as good at receiving gifts as we are at giving them. If you ask most women over 60 what present they would like for their birthday, retirement or Christmas, the answer is almost always “Oh, you don’t have to buy me a gift. I don’t need anything.”
We are even worse at buying gifts for ourselves, even when we know that they will make a positive difference in our lives.
On a purely practical level, I can understand this. After 60 years on this planet, most of us just don’t want more “stuff” around the house. But in our heart of hearts, we do love to receive a gift – either to enjoy an experience or to be reassured that we are loved and valued.
The gifts that have had the most meaning in my life are the ones that indicated a real level of connection and love. It was something I either needed very much or wanted with all my heart. After all, gift giving is ultimately all about connection between the receiver and giver.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What was the one gift that someone gave you that had the most meaning? What is the best gift that you have ever bought yourself? Why do you think it is that women over 60 are more comfortable giving gifts than receiving them?
When I was in my early 60s, I had a group of friends who exchanged birthday and Christmas gifts. When I brought home my gifts one day, I just looked at them and realized I didn’t need any of it. And neither did my friends need what they received. We were all successful, professional women who had financial flexibility.
I contacted all of them a few months before Christmas and told them that the best gift they could give me would be a donation to their favorite nonprofit. I knew them all well and that I would approve of any organization they supported. The others in the group loved this idea, and we stopped the gift-giving. We enjoyed nice lunches in good restaurants and had a great time without all the gifts. We had less stuff to deal with, and people in need benefited. That’s a win-win!
My late husband had a professionally framed piece that on the left side contained the newspaper article and photo of my dad receiving an award that at was precious to my family. On the right side was the news article and photo of me receiving the same award 47 years later. He was the most thoughtful man.
I think one of the most thoughtful gifts was a charm for a bracelet. But the one that touched me most was à gift of fresh lemons…I had been admiring them in a garden and the owner wondered what I was staring at. I had never seen à lemon tree before.