What Do We Lose When We’re Always Racing to the Next Thing
Now that we’re officially in the embrace of autumn, I can reflect back on this real “mixed bag” of a summer. I was able to spend lots of great time with my grandchildren. We had a wonderful family week at the lake. There were a lot of happy days to be grateful for.
At the same time, I was getting my mother settled into a long term care situation and packing up her apartment. And my dad and stepmom came up for their yearly summer stay with us and while they’ve been here, my stepmom was taken to the ER and diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer.
My stepmom has always been a dynamo. Teeny tiny and constantly in motion – walking, golfing, playing tennis, cooking, and generally bouncing from activity to activity. I have watched her throughout my life, always planning the next thing. Only in the past couple of years have I noticed her taking the time to be present. To revel in the moment.
I’m glad she does this. I find myself wishing she’d started sooner.
The Value in Being Present
About 10 years ago or so, my dad and stepmom took all of us on a cruise. My siblings, our spouses, kids and parents were all together for the first time in a long time. On our first night on the ship, all of us were gathered in my parents’ suite, laughing and talking. My stepmom said, “What will be our next trip? We HAVE to do this again!” My immediate response was, “Let’s enjoy this trip! This is the one we are on!”
This was years before I had started my practice of being present. But it struck me that here we were starting out a trip and she was already working on planning the next one. I understand that she loves to have something to look forward to, but that takes away from the current experience.
It is so important to be able to take in the emotions of the present moment. Whatever they might be!
Being Present Increases Our Overall Happiness and Health
When we are truly present in a particular moment or event, we are not worrying about something completely unrelated. As I look back on my many moments of NOT being present, many of the things that I thought to worry about were things that ended up NEVER happening.
We are removing stress from our mind and body in that moment of presence.
Even in sad moments, when we are fully present, we are able to find gratitude. It just happens.
All of this gives us not only better mental health, but better physical health, as well.
Being Present Increases Our Ability to Be Self-Aware
In addition to fully feeling our emotions in the moment, whether they be positive or negative, when we are present, we are more aware of invasive thoughts that might be coming from a place of anxiety or fear, rather than reality.
Self-awareness doesn’t necessarily make the thoughts go away. But the process of being more aware of where our thoughts are coming from can enable us to do things that we want to do in spite of fear or anxiety. We get more done when we are self-aware, because of this clearer understanding. We are less likely to allow anxieties, which often come from a lifetime of faulty core beliefs, to stop us from participating in life.
It is sad to consider how much of life is missed when we are constantly onto the next thing in our thoughts.
Eckhart Tolle said:
“Most humans are never fully present in the now because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”
I encourage you to really reflect on that quote. It’s powerful and not how I would choose to live the rest of my life.
How About You?
Do you find yourself constantly thinking about what might be “happening next” or do you tend to be more present overall? What are some small ways that you can start to practice being more present in your everyday life?
Tags Positivity
Living in the present? I wonder if this isn’t something which begins to come naturally to us as we age! It certainly has for me. An interesting article and comments.
Interesting point, Lynne! It was work for me to get into the habit of doing it but certainly the desire and realization that I needed to do this came to me with age.
Wholeheartedly agree with all you say, Leslie. The key is remembering to do it. Remembering to stay centered. And in the present.
You are so right! Remembering to do it and making yourself do it!
I really enjoyed this article! I used to be a ‘what’s next” person however within the past few years, even before the pandemic, I focus on the here and now…being present.
Whether engaging in an activity, watching a tv show, or just sitting in silence sipping tea or lemonade, I choose to focus on the present, this given moment. There are times when a worry may creep up, then I take a deep inhaled breath, breathe out, and focus once again on the present. I can set that worried thought to the side for later. Many times that worry may not be as big a thing as you thought.
Meditation, mindfulness, prayer and devotion, walking, and deep breathing exercises…these all help me to focus on the now. I am enjoying life much more!!
It really does make such a difference. Thank you for this, Sandra!
I appreciate this article. Nice reminder how important it is to live in the moment.
Thanks, Susan!
When I have a bad memory, I use this affirmation – Stop. Stop. Done, Done. Love! Love! Love! (as many loves as I want). This takes me immediately to the present moment and puts me into a state of appreciation. I also use meditation techniques whenever I want besides my morning meditation, Being in the present moment is becoming more and more natural to me. I find that I am enjoying the quality of my life much more, and I am making better choices.
Thank you for sharing this! I’m going to try it!