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A Different Kind of Mother’s Day Week: Celebrating Your Mom When She’s Gone

By Barbara Younger May 09, 2020 Family

I love this statement by Sophia Loren: “A mother always thinks twice, once for herself and once for her child.” How true! And, after you mother dies, you think of her often. Your mom lives with you all the time, even when she’s gone.

This will be my sixth Mother’s Day without my mom. She was an artist, a gardener, a cook, a reader, and a collector. So, the week of Mother’s Day, I’ve come up with festive ways to celebrate and remember her. As you read my list, I bet you’ll come with your own ideas for honoring your mom.

Explore Her Jewelry

My mother collected all types of jewelry, but, she went especially nuts over pins. This week, I’ll need to sport a bunch at once. Mom left me with frog pins, turtle pins, flower pins, heart pins, and lots more, including a giant lizard pin. Yikes!

Listen to Her Advice

This week, take your mom’s advice with a smile on your face.

My mother insisted on dusting before you could see any dust. When I was a child, she handed me the dust rag every week. My style is to wait until the dust shows up. Actually, if I’m honest, I wait until I can write my name in it.

So, in honor of Mothers’ Day, I’m going to take Mom’s advice and dust. A short week later, I’ll dust again and think of her clean house.

Remember Her Kindness

Mom taught me to be thoughtful. She modeled generosity. This week, I’ll gather up extra cans for the food pantry, purchase a gift certificate for a family who just adopted their fifth child and send a card to an elderly relative.

You too can honor your mom by spreading her kindness.

Try Her Recipes

Cook up your mom’s recipes! Corned pudding, hot milk cake and meatloaf with homemade barbeque sauce were among my mom’s specialties.

I bet your mom had her own. If your mom hated to cook, eat out in her honor. Did she adore IHop like my grandma did? Hop in the car and drive on down. Did she favor a more elegant restaurant? Treat yourself!

Experience Her Favorite Color

Celebrate your mom’s favorite color. My mom adored green. I might just purchase a shirt or some new towels in a fun shade of green.

I think Mom liked green so much because she was an avid gardener. A reluctant gardener myself, this is the week to get out there and pull those weeds as I admire the green that surrounds me.

Embrace Her Hobbies

Mom listened to classical music: Beethoven, Bach, Brahms. This week, I’ll blast those guys as I dust!

My mother painted in a funky primitive style. This week, I’ll spend some time admiring her art and posting a few pieces online.

Enjoy what your mom enjoyed. Watch her favorite movie. Read a book she always talked about. Recite a poem, riddle, or quotation she taught you. Did your mom adore bowling? Go bowling even if you roll nothing but gutter balls. Have a blast!

Celebrate Her Friendships

When my brother mailed me a stack of Mom’s correspondence, I found a note written to her a week before she died by her college roommate. I contacted Nancy and we’ve been corresponding by email ever since.

I love hearing about my mom as a college girl. Even if it’s been years, get in touch with one of your mom’s friends and reminisce.

Feel Free to Brag a Bit

No one relishes good news more than a mother. I miss being able to share my news with Mom. My blog Friend for the Ride was just named the Best Menopause Blogs by Healthline. So, I told my mother all about it. I said the words out loud. Brag to your mom this week. It feels wonderful.

Finally, Just Thank Her

She’s gone, but, thank her anyway. Say in your heart and mind all the things you wish you’d said when she was here. And, forgive her. No mother is perfect. Mine wasn’t, but, I loved her for her flaws. Maybe even more. If you’re lucky enough to still have your mom with you, thank and forgive her right now, this week. And, give her my best!

What do you appreciate most about your mom? If she is still with you, what are you doing to celebrate Mother’s Day together? If she has already passed, what are you planning to do to celebrate her memory?

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The Author

Barbara Younger writes Friend for the Ride: Encouraging Words for the Menopause and Midlife Roller Coaster https://friendfortheride.wordpress.com. The author of over twenty books, she lives in Hillsborough, North Carolina with her husband Cliff. She’s the mother of two grown daughters and grandmother to one adorable little boy.

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