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Are You Afraid of Online Dating in Your 60s? Here Are 3 Ways to Take Control

By Paula Harer September 14, 2021 Dating

After being single for several months, I felt it was time to get back up on the dating horse – but I was too afraid of online dating after 50.

Well, online dating is pretty much the way of the world nowadays, and if you want to meet someone single of the opposite sex, or same sex, your best chance for success is the internet.

But, let me tell you, it is not for the faint of heart, so put on your big girl pants and make the decision to dive in head first – or just stay stranded on dry land.

The First Step to Online Dating: Set Up Your Profile

I have found that you don’t need to write a book about yourself when setting up a profile. Just upload a few good photos that depict you as you really are and share the vitals: number of children and what you like to do. That’s really all you need.

But here’s an important tidbit: Do not post photos of your cat!

More than one man has told me not to do that. And for the record, men, don’t post photos of your motorcycle! Also, don’t use photos that were taken when you were 30 pounds lighter. Sooner or later the truth comes out.

Don’t Linger on Texting

I had to learn that maintaining a texting relationship on a dating site for too long just gets you nowhere. I used to spend quite a bit of time doing that, but it doesn’t really help in getting to know the other person, and it just eats time.

After a few exchanges, make a plan to have coffee or lunch or a drink, obviously in a public place. Yes, you are taking a little bit of a risk, but all you have to lose is a little time. If the experience is unsatisfactory, you can always say that you have another engagement afterward.

That’s how I do it.

I have also worked out a strategy that seems to work well. If I feel like the person and I just don’t fit at all, I take the check for our two drinks, pay it quickly and get on my way.

Another strategy that is quite helpful is that I often take Uber. That way there is no awkward moment of getting into my car. I can just say, “Oh, my Uber is here. Thank you for meeting me.” Done.

It’s easy and no one gets hurt.

You Have to Put Yourself Out There

Let me say that I have met some great guys online, but that would have never happened without putting myself out there. Without being proactive, I would still be sitting in my one-room loft, petting my dog and knitting something out of his hair (just kidding)!

I have dated some men who turned out not to be a fit, but we went out a couple of times because we enjoyed the same music, movies, etc. It was fun.

You might think you are too good for online dating. You and your imaginary boyfriend will live happily ever after with that attitude.

One thing I have learned from being single after more than 30 years of marriage is that the only person who is going to help me create a life that I want to live is me. And, I think that I would like to have a man in my life. He might not be my main focus, but it’s nice to have someone with whom to go to the movies.

Don’t wait for Prince Charming to find you. Don’t think that your dentist’s sister’s cousin’s neighbor is just going to show up at your door. Take control of your love life and make it go in the positive direction you want.

What is your funniest dating story? Do you want/need a man/woman by your side? What would it take for you to try online dating? Let’s get the conversation going!

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The Author

After a 30-year marriage crumbled, Paula Harer found herself single for the first time in 35 years. She felt like she had something to say about her experience, so started writing a blog called Starting Over at Sixty She addresses everything from loneliness and reinvention and offers ways to create a new outlook on life.

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