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A Staying Well Plan for Those Prone to Anxiety and Depression

By Di Castle October 21, 2024 Health and Fitness

For many years, I have managed the Facebook page of the Swanage Depression Support Group. This was set up as a response by members of the support group, but it was left to me as the only person familiar with Facebook to manage the page.

Needless to say, there were many messages coming through on the page during the two lockdowns, sometimes people seeking help for themselves and at other times people seeking help for others. It is one of the kindest things you can do to point someone in the right direction when they are at a low ebb.

October is Depression Awareness Month. This is also the time of year when many people experience depression because of the darker evenings and wetter, colder weather. This condition is known as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Thankfully, special lamps exist that mimic daylight, which help.

Depression Is an Illness

But depression is not simply being fed up on a Monday morning – it is much, much more. It is an illness, and the best things you can do on such a day are:

  • Accept the tired phase when you need to lie in bed most of the morning. Your brain needs to rest which prevents further stimulation and calms the brain.
  • Read the first few pages of Depressive Illness, The Curse of the Strong by Dr Tim Cantopher. This book gives an excellent understanding of the true meaning of depression.

Dr. Cantopher insists that something has to change if you are to stay well and not relapse.

Some Things to Avoid If You Are Prone to Depression

  • Keep off the computer. You may have to give it up for a while, but you will come back to it.
  • Avoid reading the news or watching television news, especially when anxious.
  • Avoid live TV as some storylines may be difficult to follow. Watch on Catch Up and pause frequently.
  • Avoid negativity and people who are ‘glass half empty’ as they will not help you.

Some Things You Can Do to Alleviate Depression

Do Exercise

  • Walk each day, at least twice. Increase the distance. Take a friend.
  • Go swimming.
  • Do yoga.
  • Sing, dance, get a massage or reflexology.
  • Do something new.
  • Use a power workout DVD.

Journal

  • Keep a notebook/diary of thoughts, feelings, actions that were helpful to you.
  • Write down three things you want to do the next day.
  • Write down three positive things that happened today.
  • Write down three things you are grateful for. Gratitude is now known to be a factor in fighting depression.

Listen to Music

Play Smooth radio, relaxing music, CDs.

Try Aromatherapy

  • Use lavender oil to relax at night and geranium which lifts the mood during the day.
  • Practice deep breathing all the time, when waiting in a shop queue or watching TV.
  • If you have a relaxation CD, play it 2 to 3 times a day and relax on the floor under a blanket.

Food & Drink

  • Eat healthy food. Cut out junk food.
  • Search for foods which help depression.
  • Drink more water.
  • Eat little and often.
  • Use ready meals until you feel able to cook.

Practise Good Habits

  • Go to bed each night and get at least 8 hours of sleep.
  • Visit the library and sit with a book, just feel the warmth, feel the nearness of the human company and the ambience of books around you.
  • Visit the library 2 to 3 times a week, take a few books out and return those that do not appeal. Stick with those you like after the first three pages. Try to sit down to read several times a day.
  • Make reading a regular part of your day. Read happy romances. Avoid dystopian, tragedies and horror stories until you feel better.
  • Follow mental health blogs and self-help websites such as MIND. Read what other people have written. Contribute your own positive ideas which make you feel good. Print out anything useful and put it in your GETTING BETTER file.
  • Face up to finance. Budget and look at ways to save money. Avoid credit cards. Instead of regretting overspending, look at your accounts. It may not be as bad as you think.
  • Keep occupied – do puzzles, crosswords and read for short periods throughout the day. Reading is known to improve mental health because training your eyes and brain to follow a line across the page will steady the overactive brain.
  • Spend some time each day tidying up. A small area, one or two shelves or one or two drawers.
  • Sort through your photo albums. This will remind you of happier times.
  • Watch happy TV, explore Netflix and BBC I player

Finally, remember that these feelings will pass. Even those with serious mental health conditions are not very ill for very long.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you suffered from depression in the autumn months, or are you someone who suffers it at other times of the year? What are your coping mechanisms? How do you help those who are near and dear to you?

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Laurel

#1 do not consume alcohol. Neuroscience has proven any amount of alcohol is like pouring gasoline on depression or anxiety.

Maureen

Absolutely!!! Alcohol can only make things worse. It changes brain chemistry. I have given it up for about a year now, and feel a tremendous difference. Just lately, I feel like my brain can create its own dopamine now without any alcohol. I wasn’t an alcoholic, but I did drink wine quite often. Emotionally, it was difficult to give up, but I’m glad I did!

Jan

There are some good tips in here, but some I strongly disagree with. “Staying off the computer” – why? During Covid, I found many MeetUp groups that met on ZOOM and the interesting discussions saved my sanity. Most of these groups continue to meet on ZOOM as they have members all around the country. I’ve made new friends from these groups. As for avoiding the “glass half full” people, I disagree on that too,, depending on how they express that. If you have an intractable problem or deep grief, hearing friends express optimism that is unmoored from reality feels very dismissive. I lost the love of my life in some very bizarre circumstances that pretty much denied me any closure. I’m past the age of 70 and I know that the odds of finding another love like that are remote. Occasionally older women do find some sort of relationship, but the odds are very much against finding a deep love. Having been very happy with your previous partner raises your standards. I’m not interesting in going on repeated dates with a man just because he’s “nice.” A woman friend lost her husband after a years-long happy marriage, and her friends are already criticizing her because she’s still grieving. He only died 6 months ago! Toxic positivity does not help. A wise friend can try to distract you, and help you count your blessings – but criticizing someone for “still” grieving doesn’t help at all. Sometimes the glass is indeed half empty.

Jan

During the worst of my depression, I still enjoyed feeding the birds and squirrels in my yard, I can see them through my window. And the flowers I’ve been cultivating for years are wonderful to see. Also I’ve found volunteering at my local animal shelter to be extremely helpful – I go there regularly. I feel I’m making a difference for those animals, and I’ve made friends there. Recently I discovered there’s a weekly scrabble game at my local library, I’ll try to go as often as I can. I also remind myself, daily, of things I am grateful for – they are numerous, even though not everything has worked out how I hoped or expected. And I have a very good therapist who does not trivialize my grief.

Julie

Thank you for the advice. I know its not a cure all but there are helpful suggestions in your article. Have a blessed day.

jen

Lots of ideas here to try to combat depression, but maybe they would all be more helpful for when a lady has the blues or is feeling down for a while.

The author is incredibly upbeat about this awful condition & doesn’t seem to understand that when a person is truly suffering from depression, motivation can totally disappear. Journaling, reading, or joining groups are just the last thing one may want to do. Depression can be an all-consuming, isolating, lonely experience.

The author also notes that “those with serious mental health conditions are not ill for very long”.
What planet is she on?

I have lived with depression for over 30 years. I am on helpful medication & have had periods of psychotherapy, so I manage it, but it is a constant.

Please recognise this illness for what it can really be.

Lori

I too have lived with depression for several decades and for the most part this is well under control thanks to medication and plenty of education on my part. There seems to be some assumptions here, a one size fits all approach, and depression doesn’t work that way. For example, I’m an avid reader, have been since early childhood, but recently, I found myself unable to read anything for about two years. However, I could easily follow a movie or television storyline. This is passive viewing. Reading requires more involvement from the brain. For two years, I became hooked on Hallmark movies, which are cheesy romantic holiday themed movies which take place in small town Canada or America. The niceness, kindness, togetherness of the communities, etc was what attracted me to these movies more than the romance, although I did enjoy that. They were positive and uplifting, something I needed at that time. I also spent an enormous amount of time on the internet, reading blogs, searching for information, keeping up to date on news that interested me, interacting with people, etc. I do realize the effect this can have on the brain but it can also be valuable if used in a good way. I have written in the past but had zero interest in doing so then. I’m now reading literary novels, non fiction, etc again and have since canceled my cable TV. I’m more interested in talking to people etc. But this all takes time and we must find our own way. Suggestions are helpful, of course, but blanket assumptions aren’t.

Virginia

Re TV…Virgin River! And, I agree with you. One minute, one hour, one day at a time has become my motto. I try very hard to focus to on that, usually unsuccessfully. I think the hardest is when you haven’t the gumption or motivation to implement what one knows will help. In my case, I’d literally need a life coach by my side all day to keep me going! Lol. Unfortunately, I’m far from being able to afford one. Today, I will try to start sitting out on the porch for 5 minutes and breath fresh air, look at nature. Increase by 5 minutes a day and then implement a 5 minute walk a day, etc. Slowly try to climb up and out of this slump which started this time from a situational circumstance and slid into full blown clinical. Chemical disorder since childhood. 61 years old. Golden years, sigh.

Virginia

Ditto dear lady. Fact is nothing works until your mind is ready. Whether by medications, counselling, or waiting until it hopefully passes. Then, I think the only way I could do what is suggested beforehand for example, is by having a life coach or assistant drag my zombie like carcass out on the porch with a cup of tea to sit in the sun. Tiny steps back to the land of the living. The hardest part…losing my strength, gaining weight, from being practically bedridden since January 2024. Started situational in November 2023 from relationship and sudden ill heath, and is now a full blown episode. Another dang downer…regaining my physical health body wise. Decades of this, from childhood, and now I’m 61, I’m finding it even harder to bounce back. So many people count on me (elderly folks, hubby) due to their health issues. I’m absolutely frozen and at times just want to “run away”. Lol. I wouldn’t even be able to pack. So, I’m certain we all understand that while we most certainly need to follow instructions to get out of the “black dog’s” clutch, easier said than done.

Last edited 1 year ago by Virginia
Jan

Medication doesn’t always work. I tried 4 different medications and the side effects were so intolerable I had to go off each of them. I have a house, yard, and dog to take care of. There were times that, if I didn’t need to feed and walk my dog, or talk to the guy who mows my lawn, I might not have even gotten dressed. So those responsibilities helped me.

Wendy Barton

Thanks, Di. All excellent advice. I have been avoiding TV and radio news for about two years now and it definitely helps. I read a good newspaper every day (by ‘good’, I mean balanced and factual) and I can handle this as I can stop reading at any time. I also read news articles from reputable sources on my mobile.
I find reading and listening to music very helpful and listening to audiobooks. I’ve recently joined a gym and am hoping to feel the benefits for my mental health as well as my physical health.

The Author

Di Castle lectured in Further Education before publishing Grandma's Poetry Book in 2014 and Should I Wear Floral in 2017. She has won competitions at Winchester Writers Festival. Her 1950s memoir Red House to Exodus, is due out, as is Sharing the Silence, about two sisters, one profoundly deaf.

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