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A Staying Well Plan for Those Prone to Anxiety and Depression

By Di Castle October 21, 2024 Health and Fitness

For many years, I have managed the Facebook page of the Swanage Depression Support Group. This was set up as a response by members of the support group, but it was left to me as the only person familiar with Facebook to manage the page.

Needless to say, there were many messages coming through on the page during the two lockdowns, sometimes people seeking help for themselves and at other times people seeking help for others. It is one of the kindest things you can do to point someone in the right direction when they are at a low ebb.

October is Depression Awareness Month. This is also the time of year when many people experience depression because of the darker evenings and wetter, colder weather. This condition is known as SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Thankfully, special lamps exist that mimic daylight, which help.

Depression Is an Illness

But depression is not simply being fed up on a Monday morning – it is much, much more. It is an illness, and the best things you can do on such a day are:

  • Accept the tired phase when you need to lie in bed most of the morning. Your brain needs to rest which prevents further stimulation and calms the brain.
  • Read the first few pages of Depressive Illness, The Curse of the Strong by Dr Tim Cantopher. This book gives an excellent understanding of the true meaning of depression.

Dr. Cantopher insists that something has to change if you are to stay well and not relapse.

Some Things to Avoid If You Are Prone to Depression

  • Keep off the computer. You may have to give it up for a while, but you will come back to it.
  • Avoid reading the news or watching television news, especially when anxious.
  • Avoid live TV as some storylines may be difficult to follow. Watch on Catch Up and pause frequently.
  • Avoid negativity and people who are ‘glass half empty’ as they will not help you.

Some Things You Can Do to Alleviate Depression

Do Exercise

  • Walk each day, at least twice. Increase the distance. Take a friend.
  • Go swimming.
  • Do yoga.
  • Sing, dance, get a massage or reflexology.
  • Do something new.
  • Use a power workout DVD.

Journal

  • Keep a notebook/diary of thoughts, feelings, actions that were helpful to you.
  • Write down three things you want to do the next day.
  • Write down three positive things that happened today.
  • Write down three things you are grateful for. Gratitude is now known to be a factor in fighting depression.

Listen to Music

Play Smooth radio, relaxing music, CDs.

Try Aromatherapy

  • Use lavender oil to relax at night and geranium which lifts the mood during the day.
  • Practice deep breathing all the time, when waiting in a shop queue or watching TV.
  • If you have a relaxation CD, play it 2 to 3 times a day and relax on the floor under a blanket.

Food & Drink

  • Eat healthy food. Cut out junk food.
  • Search for foods which help depression.
  • Drink more water.
  • Eat little and often.
  • Use ready meals until you feel able to cook.

Practise Good Habits

  • Go to bed each night and get at least 8 hours of sleep.
  • Visit the library and sit with a book, just feel the warmth, feel the nearness of the human company and the ambience of books around you.
  • Visit the library 2 to 3 times a week, take a few books out and return those that do not appeal. Stick with those you like after the first three pages. Try to sit down to read several times a day.
  • Make reading a regular part of your day. Read happy romances. Avoid dystopian, tragedies and horror stories until you feel better.
  • Follow mental health blogs and self-help websites such as MIND. Read what other people have written. Contribute your own positive ideas which make you feel good. Print out anything useful and put it in your GETTING BETTER file.
  • Face up to finance. Budget and look at ways to save money. Avoid credit cards. Instead of regretting overspending, look at your accounts. It may not be as bad as you think.
  • Keep occupied – do puzzles, crosswords and read for short periods throughout the day. Reading is known to improve mental health because training your eyes and brain to follow a line across the page will steady the overactive brain.
  • Spend some time each day tidying up. A small area, one or two shelves or one or two drawers.
  • Sort through your photo albums. This will remind you of happier times.
  • Watch happy TV, explore Netflix and BBC I player

Finally, remember that these feelings will pass. Even those with serious mental health conditions are not very ill for very long.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you suffered from depression in the autumn months, or are you someone who suffers it at other times of the year? What are your coping mechanisms? How do you help those who are near and dear to you?

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14 Comments
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Maureen

Wow…so many comments! This must be a hot topic. I suffered from depression for many years. With the help of an amazing therapist, I understand what it is all about for me. As humans, our subconscious will choose what it needs to survive and what works, even if for only a moment. We are not aware of this choice….at first. Being aware of your emotions and feelings is the first step to understanding why it’s happening to you. I thank GOD every day for the gift of my therapist. It’s not easy, but I feel tremendous growth each year.

Holly Schmitz

I have recently been recovering from 18 months of severe depression, including being hospitalized for attempted suicide. I was divorced a few years ago because my husband of 17 years transgendered. We had adopted my grandson (then 9) so I was left raising him on my own. We had moved to CA for reasons related to our grandson and, therefore, I had a small number of new friends — all married! My son and his family live four hours away so little support from them. My X was difficult and grandson became defiant and impossible to deal with as he became a teenager. I saw no hope. My son and his wife agreed to raise my grandson so I left him at their home on Christmas. My grandson was very happy to go live with them. My X had gotten help for his drinking, etc. and was happier and easier for me to deal with. There was hope! But then I came down with Long Covid — on Xmas day no less! Finally I’ve recovered from that and am my old self again. I did all the things you suggested for depression. When I had energy I continued with my art and craft projects, got back into tennis (though I played poorly), always walked my dogs, did what I could of the exercise CD I’d faithfully done for years, etc.This gave me some happiness, took my mind off things and gave me some sense of accomplishment. I also hired someone to clean my house and mow my yard. I’m 77 and realized I just can’t do everything any longer. Since I have a small income it was a big decision to hire help. When I use up my savings I can get a reverse mortgage. At this time I am not ready to sell my house and move. I’ll continue to be very frugaI. My son makes an amazing salary so I’m sure he’ll help me financially if I ever need it. Unfortunately during the worst of my mental issues I had few visits and support from him which hurt me very much. The one person who helped me through all this was my X!!!! We remain very good friends, live a short distance apart and help each other. One suggestion I’d like to offer others is that they check their meds. I was over medicated by the Psychiatrist and GP who both prescribed Welbrutron. My memory and cognitive abilities became terrible. Finally I got all my meds out, looked at the containers and realized what had happened. Once I got the meds out of my system (recently) my memory returned and now I am finally my old self. Those of you who are on meds for depression and live alone might need help. Maybe you can get someone to check your meds and research the side effects, etc. What I went through was horrible and I hope by telling my story others can get help. Friends and family should listen to those of us suffering from mental illness. It is real, debilitating and we need support!!!

Jan

You’ve been through a lot! You’re not the only person I know who felt a lack of support from people they thought were close. But it’s great that your X is a good friend.

Laurel

#1 do not consume alcohol. Neuroscience has proven any amount of alcohol is like pouring gasoline on depression or anxiety.

Maureen

Absolutely!!! Alcohol can only make things worse. It changes brain chemistry. I have given it up for about a year now, and feel a tremendous difference. Just lately, I feel like my brain can create its own dopamine now without any alcohol. I wasn’t an alcoholic, but I did drink wine quite often. Emotionally, it was difficult to give up, but I’m glad I did!

Jan

There are some good tips in here, but some I strongly disagree with. “Staying off the computer” – why? During Covid, I found many MeetUp groups that met on ZOOM and the interesting discussions saved my sanity. Most of these groups continue to meet on ZOOM as they have members all around the country. I’ve made new friends from these groups. As for avoiding the “glass half full” people, I disagree on that too,, depending on how they express that. If you have an intractable problem or deep grief, hearing friends express optimism that is unmoored from reality feels very dismissive. I lost the love of my life in some very bizarre circumstances that pretty much denied me any closure. I’m past the age of 70 and I know that the odds of finding another love like that are remote. Occasionally older women do find some sort of relationship, but the odds are very much against finding a deep love. Having been very happy with your previous partner raises your standards. I’m not interesting in going on repeated dates with a man just because he’s “nice.” A woman friend lost her husband after a years-long happy marriage, and her friends are already criticizing her because she’s still grieving. He only died 6 months ago! Toxic positivity does not help. A wise friend can try to distract you, and help you count your blessings – but criticizing someone for “still” grieving doesn’t help at all. Sometimes the glass is indeed half empty.

Jan

During the worst of my depression, I still enjoyed feeding the birds and squirrels in my yard, I can see them through my window. And the flowers I’ve been cultivating for years are wonderful to see. Also I’ve found volunteering at my local animal shelter to be extremely helpful – I go there regularly. I feel I’m making a difference for those animals, and I’ve made friends there. Recently I discovered there’s a weekly scrabble game at my local library, I’ll try to go as often as I can. I also remind myself, daily, of things I am grateful for – they are numerous, even though not everything has worked out how I hoped or expected. And I have a very good therapist who does not trivialize my grief.

Julie

Thank you for the advice. I know its not a cure all but there are helpful suggestions in your article. Have a blessed day.

The Author

Di Castle lectured in Further Education before publishing Grandma's Poetry Book in 2014 and Should I Wear Floral in 2017. She has won competitions at Winchester Writers Festival. Her 1950s memoir Red House to Exodus, is due out, as is Sharing the Silence, about two sisters, one profoundly deaf.

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